No F's Given - Another Marauder's RP w/Lynx - ABANDONED

Remus woke up feeling a strange sensation in his stomach. Panic. It was the only thing that he could come up with. He hadn’t had a panic attack since his friends found out that he was a werewolf and he swore that they were going to put him on his ass and find a way to kick him out of Hogwarts. He took a shuddering breath, glad to feel Padfoot sleeping near him and James… "Why are you awake?"

“Huh? Oh, Moony.” James smiled albeit exhausted. “Nice to see you up.”

“Didn’t answer my question, Prongs.” Remus sighed as he closed his eyes. “I feel…wrong.”

“Well, tonight was a bit of a strange one. Rae managed to get her ass up here.”

“Did I hurt her?”

“Nah. She thinks it’s down right fun, being tossed into furniture and into the ground.” James noticed Remus’ paling. “I was being serious you know.”

“But…why…?”

“I reckon she likes to wrestle with people. I didn’t know she was into rough housing. Maybe Sirius needs to do something about that.” James scratched his cheek. “Bria also came up here too. She…ah…made things uncomfortable.”

His heart slammed into his stomach and he felt ill. Bria saw him. Bria saw him and felt ill towards him didn’t she? She must have thought that he was killing Rae if she saw him tossing her around like a ragged doll. He did that kind of thing to Sirius, but when they were human. They were careful not to get him riled up as a wolf, too afraid that he'd hurt them, or worse.

“I see…” Remus got up and groaned. “What time is it?”

“Dawn. You’re probably going to go the Hospital Wing, but Sirius, Peter and I will have to sneak back underneath the cloak.”  James frowned, watching Remus. “You okay, mate?”

“I’m fine.” Remus paused. “No. No I’m not fine. I’m going to go on ahead.”

James frowned deeply. “Remus, the only reason why Bria made things uncomfortable was-“

“I don’t want to hear it, James.” Remus snapped, making Padfoot shift in his sleep. “I need to go.”

“Rem!” James called as he watched his best friend limp across the bedroom and down the stairs. He could hear the creaking of the trapdoor and he cursed. “Fucking…”

~*~

The day was spent finishing homework before Monday started, so Bria and Remus didn't cross paths at all, especially since he was being taken care of by Madam Pomphry. It wasn't until the first class rolled around at the start of the new school week that Bria noticed something wrong. Sirius sat next to her like usual, but Remus didn't greet her good morning or ask her how she was.

"Is...he okay? I haven't had a chance to ask how things went after I left Saturday night," Bria asked Sirius.

"He's a bit quieter than usual even to me, but I'm not sure why," Sirius admitted.

Bria's stomach twisted, "I hope things are alright." Was all she said before class begun.

Second class was where she realized it was...her fault. Remus walked right by her in Potions and asked if he could partner with Marcus instead for the day, causing Sirius to join her once more. "Okay, what the hell?" Sirius frowned, "That's unusual. He's /ignoring/ you. Only thing I can think of is he found out you were there. I didn't tell him," he promised.

Bria felt her throat close up and tears prickled at her eyes, "He's mad at me?" she murmured.

"I'll ask James at lunch," Sirius promised, "Let's just focus on class okay?" he brought her into a one-armed hug.

Third class was a nightmare, because that was the only class they had where none of the others joined them. He sat as far away from her as possible. It was difficult to stay calm. Then at lunch, she clutched her bag as she stared at their table, but she decided to simply go sit with Rae and Bonnie at the Ravenclaw table.

"What's the matter, dear? You look miserable," Bonnie blinked.

"Remus is upset with me," Bria muttered, "I don't know why. Sirius said he'd find out."

"For Bloody fucking sake." Rae scowled. "Are you freaking serious?!" She folded her arms and bit her lips. "I have half of the mind to go over there." She pinched her nose. "James most likely told Remus that Peter got uncomfortable with the....frolicking you do in the common room."

"Y-Yeah...I didn't think it'd, um...be that much of a big deal," Bria was downcast, "I'll wait before I do anything. Maybe he just needs some time, right? To let things blow over?"

"Oh, honey, I hope things do blow over," Bonnie frowned, "You two made such a cute couple! It would be a shame if a friend of his would ruin all of that."

"...Not quite the way I wanted to." James admitted.

"There's really no way to have an ideal way of telling me that, James." Remus sighed. "And I'll get over it, Sirius. Just allow me some space."

"Bria left on her own accord, too, we didn't have to say anything," Peter added and grunted when Sirius stomped on his foot, "Ow!"

Sirius had a sneaking suspicion what was /really/ going on when he saw Remus' face cloud over even more, "I told Bria you wouldn't even know she was there since you have such a mental block. I hope you aren't throwing a tissy fit over something stupid and fixable."

~*~

“It’s been two days now.” Bonnie frowned as she watched Bria mope during dinner. The poor girl was sitting by her lonesome. James and Sirius kept glancing over at her and talking. Raiden was the only one that seemed to care to be next to her, more than likely because she was Eri’s best friend. “What in the world could’ve been so awful?”

“People making fun of other people’s kinks.” Rachel replied as she took a baked potato from the tray and started slathering it with butter.

“Oh…dear. Is that what made Peter so uncomfortable in the common room?” Bonnie winced. “Poor thing. They should’ve known not to do it so publicly.”

“Well, it’s not helping that neither of them knows how to use their mouths or hands. I could’ve sworn Remus knows sign language.” Rae scowled.

“Don’t forget that you’re the one that’s hard of hearing.” Bonnie reminded her. “They probably respect the fact that it’s not some sort of hidden language and aren’t going to exploit it. Speaking of sign language, is Sirius learning well?”

“He’s a fast study, but he stumbles over the signs a bit.” Rae smiled. “He tries very hard to make sure he does it right. He likes trying to sign to me when we have a barrier, like now.” She gestured to the Great Hall. “He signs in baby talk, but don’t tell him I said that. It’d embarrass him to death and I don’t want him to abandon all attempts.”

“I think he’s aware of that.” Bonnie admitted. “You know, the more you talk about him the more I get the sense that you like him more.”

“…Is it bad if I say I’m falling for him?” Rae asked curiously.

“Not in the slightest, but do be careful. He’s a Black.”

“Why does his last name have anything to do with it?”

“Pureblooded families are a bit bigoted and a bit racist when it comes to their status and holdings,” Bonnie frowned. “I doubt the Blacks are any different. In fact, I know so.”

“Well, it won’t matter.” Rachel waved it aside.

“Just be careful giving your heart away. The last time you did that, you were depressed for months.”

“The last time I did that, I swore never to do it again. I think I’m ready.”

“Hmm.” Bonnie smiled. “Maybe you can be the shining example that Bria and Remus are missing.”

“Swear to god if they don’t fix this by the end of the week, I’m going Mortal Kombat on them.”

“Please don’t bring blood and gore into a talk, Rae.” Bonnie sighed.

“Toss them into the broom cupboard?”

“Or your sex.”

“Goddamn you suck my fun.”

“I try.”

~*~

Day three. It was the morning of day three in Potions yet again and Bria just couldn't handle it. She thought she could make it but he wasn't even making any attempts and when she'd tried to say hello instead, he'd given her an angry sort of growl under his breath. That couldn't have been a growl from Moony. No, Remus himself did it. Throat raw with emotion, she suddenly stood up in her chair.

"Bria?" Sirius looked at her and blinked, then said her name with a bit more alarm but she didn't hear it, grabbing her bag and high-tailing it out of there.

Remus looked back when he heard the chair scrape and he noticed that she looked like was about close to tears. Was she so afraid of him that she was crying? Or was there something more and he was just missing it? Whatever the case, he turned back to the potions and Marcus frowned deeply. Welp. He was going to have to make sure to catch Rae before Sirius did. "Rem pair up with Pretty Boy." He told the werewolf kindly as he picked up his bag. "I'm not feeling well."

"Are you okay, Marcus?" Remus looked at him cautiously. He couldn't smell sickness on him, but then again the potions room was the worst place to try to catch any scents what so ever.

"Yeah. Just....sick." Of everyone being bloody fucking idiots. "Give Pretty Boy my love, yeah?" Marcus grinned teasingly as he moved away and walked out of the potions classroom whistling, leaving Remus to move his stuff next to Padfoot.

Marcus walked along the empty hallways, being careful not to be caught by any of the ghosts that might tattle. When he reached the History of Magic classroom, he quietly slipped through and found Rae at the front. Fuck, why did she always sit up in front. Luckily, most of the students were asleep or just about getting there. Rae was the only one so far that didn’t seem to mind much that Professor was droning on and on.

He carefully walked over to behind her desk and poked her gently in the back. “Hey.” He hissed. “Ditch.”

“What?” Rae glanced back at Professor Binns who was currently trying to write on the chalk board.

“Ditch this class and get going to the girl’s bathroom.” Marcus hissed. “Use your bloody sight.”

“What happened?”

“Bria finally had enough. She snapped.” Rae’s eyes glinted and Marcus knew too well that shit literally hit the fan. "Shall I-"

“Tell the group to meet me in the abandoned classroom after class.” Rae quietly started packing her things away. She could read the bloody textbook and ask Bonnie for notes. “If they don’t, remind them again why I’m called the Shadow Baroness to your House.”

“Yes ma’am.” Marcus grinned wolfishly and they both walked out of the classroom as fast as they could before they could get caught by Professor Binns.

Rachel forced her Sight by focusing on her sister and what her future was going to be like. At first, it was nothing but too far in to the future, and what happened recently. It took a bit of time before she saw a out of order sign on the third floor. Myrtle’s hideaway. She could feel her nose running just a bit, but she wasn’t bleeding.

She walked firmly and quickly down the hallway, trying her best not to get caught and to make sure her speed was good enough to get to the bathroom. When she managed to get to the third floor and into the bathroom, she wasn’t sure who was worst. Myrtle’s hysterics or her own sister’s tears.

“Alright,” Rae walked over and sat down next to Bria. “We’re going to fix this.”

"I'm...I'm so weak...but he growled at me! I know it wasn't Moony. Moony loved me, but Remus is /defiantly/ mad at me!" Bria sniffed and choked on another sob, "I don't know what I did wrong, Rae...sure if he was mad I was there that's one thing but was it /really/ something to ignore me for?"

"Neither one of you are good at talking." Rachel sighed. "So I'm going to do it for you. I told the boys to meet me in the abandoned classroom. You're coming with and we're going to fix it, alright? Rem probably doesn't know the whole story. If he does, he's being awfully petty about it."

Bria sniffed and nodded, allowing Rae to help her up, "Thank you for screaming for me, Myrtle, sweet," she called to the spirit in the stall.

Myrtle hiccuped, "You're welcome. Do come back. It gets so lonely..."

"I know. You're a good friend," Bria agreed as they left. "I had Rem this year so I forgot to see her..."

"Maybe you need balance in your social life too." Rachel sighed as she guided Bria down the hallway. "I had Marcus threaten the boys if they decide to put up a fight. I'm warning you, I'm going to lose my bloody fucking temper on Rem."

"I'm sorry I couldn't talk to him, Rae, for making you do this," Bria frowned deeply as they got up the stairs.

"It's fine. Just follow the mantra you've been giving me since we met. Communication is key." Rachel smiled though it was thin and didn't meet her eyes. "Do you want tea or anything? I can call one of the house elves. Ada adores Eri, I'm sure she'd come for you."

"Tea might help my clogged nose," Bria agreed, "Just...some of Sirius' pumpkin spice tea sounds good," she sniffed and wiped her eyes as new tears dripped down unbidden.

"Okay. Let's get inside the classroom and we'll get Ada working on that." Rachel gently brought Bria close to her side and rubbed her back. "You just keep breathing and let me be your anger here."

"What do you mean there's a meeting? Remus is a Prefect, he can't ditch class," Sirius frowned at Marcus.

"Ghost was nice enough to say that we can wait till after class, but the longer you guys wait the more angry she's gonna get." Marcus chided. "Please don't make me pull out her trump card so early in the negotiation. She did tell me that I can use it, she's bloody pissed enough to actually go Slythern on you lot."

"Well, we'll be up there as soon as class is over, okay? Can you tell her that?" Sirius said firmly, "I know Bria's upset and Rae's pissed. Hell, I'm upset with Remus, too, but I don't want his Prefect duties to suffer like his love life, it's only two months into the year. If Eri was a prefect and we did that prank to her she would've told us no food for a month."

"Fine." Marcus shrugged. "That's fine with me. I'm sure Ghost already saw that coming anyway. But she wants all of you or none of you." He walked back to his desk and sat down. He knew he could talk to Professor Slughorn about making it up since he went to the "Hospital Wing".

Time passed and when Sirius saw Remus walked down the hall in the opposite direction of the abandoned classroom, he looked at James whom he was walking with and they jogged forward, hooking their arms in his, "Ooooh no you don't, Marcus told me bad things would happen if we didn't do what Rose said."

"And what bad things can possible happen? A lecture?" Remus snapped. "You told me-"

"Just bloody go to the damn classroom and let Bria know it's over then!" James retaliated.

"..." Remus frowned deeply. "Fine." He knew that it was left hanging. It was best to do this. Rae was probably upset that there was no closure, and he could...he could do his best to provide that. Whatever that is. "Fine."

They made it to the classroom with little to no hassle, and Peter managed to hike up the stairs at the last minute to join them since the message was everyone or no one. They opened the door and Sirius saw Bria sitting on a far back deck in the corner, like she did in all the classrooms still in use, sipping on some tea, "We're all here, Rae, let us have it," he said as he closed the door.

Rachel grinned ferally and she snapped her fingers. The door locked behind him and she glared at Moony. "First of all." She walked faster up to him and before anyone could say anything, she smacked him across face and quickly did a complicated hand motion at the door. A silencing spell lingered at the edge and James whistled.

"WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Rachel shrieked. "I GET THAT I'M BAD! I KNOW THAT I CAN DO SOME STUPID THINGS LIKE IGNORE PEOPLE AND GIVE COLD SHOULDERS, BUT AT LEAST I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!"

"What you think I don't?!" Remus shouted back. "I got the message loud and clear."

She let out a frusterated scream and she gripped her hair. "You didn't the message at all, you fucking dumb fuck!" She yelled. "Didn't you think for one moment that the reason why Bria was uncomfortable, was because someone else in the group WAS ALSO BLOODY UNCOMFORTABLE? OR DID THE WORD "EMPATH" SLIP FROM YOUR FUCKING MIND!"

Remus looked taken aback. "Wha-"

"I knew it," Sirius groaned.

"SO YOU BLOODY FUCKING IGNORED HER BECAUSE YOU HAD NO FUCKING CLUE ABOUT THAT!" Her magic got out of hand and a bunch of desks and chairs were knocked over.

"Now now, Rose, try not to hit anyone or break any windows," Sirius hummed but was otherwise calm.

"Can she break the windows?" James knew what magic out of hand looked like. Fucking hell, compared to Sirius' magic when he was angry, this was like...a angry cat with it's tail being pulled too much.

Sirius he knew could break windows.

"Not the time James." Remus snapped.

"No! Perfect time!" Rachel shouted. "Because obviously that's a much more sweeter topic, THAN THE ONE ABOUT YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING GIRLFRIEND!"

"For fuck's sake," Remus snapped back at Rachel. "He told me she was uncomfortable. She wasn' there after the moon. I DIDN'T BLOODY THINK I NEEDED TO HEAR MORE OF IT!"

"WELL THAT'S YOUR OWN FUCKING PROBLEM THEN!" Rachel shouted back.

Sirius just whistled as he walked over to Bria, sitting down beside her and sniffed at her tea, "Whatcha drinkin'?" he asked as if the meltdown wasn't even occurring in front of them.

"A-Ada made me some of your tea, I hope you don't mine," Bria murmured and offered him the cup, which he took and looked back up in time for the next line, this time from James.

"I tried telling you, Remus. Bria got uncomfortable because Peter made an observation. To be honest, it was a little uncomfortable for me too since you two looked like you were about to have public sex in the middle of the fucking field." James groaned. "But that didn't mean we wanted to chase her away or anything. We just wanted you two to chill the fuck out. Besides. Moony liked Bria damn it. He liked her a lot. Something you don't show often."

"The one blind to love is obviously not so blind." Rae seethed, though she was standing up straighter, almost prepared to attack.

"Jeez, poetic." James rolled his eyes.

"I didn't-"

"Get one thing straight if you get anything straight at all. My cards do not lie. They do not lead people into the /wrong/ direction, in fact my pathways are all about hope and redemption because we all bloody need it." Rachel snapped. "So do yourself a favor, and start learning how to talk to Moony. Only then you'll be able to understand Bria and her relationship. It's sad. Moony can communicate /better/ than a human." Her eyes narrowed. "And may be  a better man than you."

James hissed as Remus looked like he was slapped across the face. Rachel watched him with narrowed eyes before she snapped her fingers and the desks and chairs were put back up right. She waved her hand towards the door to unlock it, but the silencing spell was still there. "Take heed. I'm stronger than you. I'm more cunning than you. I have Lockheart blood running through my veins. I don't care if you hurt me, shatter me, or break me. I dealt with worse, I seen worse. But you dare hurt my friends even my sister...you are so fucking lucky I like you Rem. You deserve worse and you don't deserve forgiveness." She turned on the ball of her feet and walked to the door. "This is now a Gryffindor meeting. Talk about boundaries. Bria, you no longer need my assistance. I can only be your anger. I cannot be your compassion and compromise, I have no patience for it."

"Thank you, Rae. I love you," she called softly, "Get some air."

"Love you too," was Rae's only reply before she walked out the door and slammed it shut behind her leaving an echoing silence behind.

"So, yeah, it was because of me," Peter admitted first, "You...er...Moony tackled Bria since you two were playing chase and you didn't end up looking so innocent."

"I should've finished my sentence before things got out of hand and tried to get you to listen to me." James sighed. "So it started with Peter, and then rolled on to me. Sirius didn't do much of anything. So there's no reason to get angry at him."

"I...panicked...because of Peter's reaction...and...ran..." Bria shifted, "I...I don't want to come between anyone, let alone your friends. I was just a distraction. Moony wouldn't play with anyone but me while I was there and then I disgusted your friend."

Peter winced at the word, but didn't deny it was accurate.

Remus pinched his nose and sighed, already feeling drained. Yelling at Rae took a bit out of him. "We definitely need to talk about boundaries and set up a schedule or something so this doesn't happen again." Remus opened his eyes. "And I'll try talking...to Moony."

"Bloody took forever," James sighed.

"Should we make this a love meeting now?" Peter asked, shifting, "I'm sure Bria can go into more detail about the.../feelings/ shared without us?"

"We can be noted in when you guys come up with a schedule." James agreed as he jumped off. "Sirius maybe you should go find Lock, make sure she didn't strange someone on her way out. I doubt she's going to divination with that magic blazing everywhere."

Sirius nodded and slid off, hugging Bria tightly and rubbing her back. He realized through the whole ideal that he'd been the calmest one, "You're okay. Just breathe," he said as he pulled away and strolled back towards the front of the room, "Remus...I'm pretty sure all her Empathic barriers are down right now, so while I don't know much about how her powers work, don't touch her until she touches you?" he suggested.

"Wasn't going to," Remus said, but looked properly chasten. "Go find Rae. I'm sure she's nearing herself into a heart attack."

Bria simply sipped her tea while she watched the three leave the classroom, and when the door closed she slipped down from on top of the desk to sit on the seat and curled up, "What...do you want me to tell you?" she asked.

Remus' sighed.  "Anything you want to tell me. I got enough of a picture about last night. You have to tell me a little bit about yourself now. No one knows how your powers work and honestly I clearly don't know much about your past so I can't accommodate you right."

"Powers...can be explained when I am more clear of mine," Bria shook her head, "My past, though...I can do that..." she sniffed, "I feel abandoned by my family," she said, "I know Nana doesn't mean to, because she runs the bus, but she's always gone. My mother left us when I was just about to start my fourth year. It was the first time since I started school she didn't take me to the train. All of the things we used to do we didn't do. No treats during the summertime fair, no buying cute nick-knacks at the Renaissance fair in June when I come home...no sleeping with her during thunderstorms, no philosophical talks, no trading romance books and titles of stories we'd like..." she swallowed thickly, "That's why I snear her school the way I do. She left because her life wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough for her."

"That's her loss." Remus said after a moment. "You're better than her and I think she knew that. That doesn't replace the fact that you miss her and you want her around. That doesn't replace that you still want your mother and the good times that you had with her. But you're so much better than her, and no one's going to just up and leave you. That was my fault. I should've listened. But the moment I heard that you were uncomfortable, I thought that seeing me as a wolf made you realize who you were dating and what you were dating."

"You'd think I'm that shallow?" Bria sniffed, tears pricking, "Or were you afraid and it clouded you, making you see what you wanted to see? Did you want me to leave you? Prove to you you're not worthy or something?"

"I think anyone who has has a sense of self-preservation would figure out that being a werewolf is dangerous." Remus admitted. "That said, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"Rae's always known my self-preservation skills suck. I'd jump in front of a killing curse for her," Bria shook her head, "What other shoe are you waiting for? I think this was a pretty big shoe. Remus...forgive me if it's too soon, but...I love you. I was so heartbroken the last several days. I thought I did something horribly wrong, and that you and your friends would all turn your backs on me for hurting you or something, and while I'd still have Rae, and Lily, I'd feel alone again..."

"...I love you, too." Remus said slowly. "Your right, this was a big shoe to drop and you took it well enough. Just...patience with me is all I ask for. Being a werewolf comes with stigma and hate. It's not just about being dangerous. It's about discrimination too."

"/Remus/, stop," Bria set her teacup down and she stood up, coming over to him. They were alone. She could do what she wanted. Would it work? Would it jog his memory? Goddess she hoped so, and she wasn't sure which one in particular. She straddled his lap and stroked one cheek and then the other, watching his eyes widen like saucers. "I'll give you patience, but not right this moment." Then...while it wasn't what she did, it was what she wanted to do Saturday night. She kissed him fully, and gripped his hair, making him gasp and she made the kiss deeper by diving her tongue in to strike at his. She was upset with him, with this whole situation, and she just wanted him to understand. She wanted him to feel what Moony felt that night.

Her kiss was biting and gentle and it was hard to place which it was. He gripped her hips tightly and pulled her close against him, nails biting into her skin as he felt himself swell as he kissed her back, using his tongue to get her taste. One of his hand reached up and he yanked on her hair as he pulled away from her kiss and nipped at her neck.

Body burning, Bria moaned and tilted her neck for him, gripping his shoulders and she also felt his arms, then back to his chest. It was obscured through clothing but she could feel the tight muscles there, coiled and ready for anything, "Remus...my scent...is it familiar?" she knew her arousal this time was probably much stronger than at that point in time. She wasn't hoping for much, but just something. If he promised to start talking to Moony, maybe a common ground to start would help? She could be fumbling for hope at this point, but that was okay. She could come up with lots more ideas.

"Sadly the only reason why it's familiar to me is because I recognize it." Remus shook his head. "You're worrying about things that you shouldn't worry about. Moony's my problem, sweet."

"My mind isn't right, forgive me if I try too hard," Bria murmured, but she moved to kiss him deeply again, her stroking his cheeks. She pulled away a bit to speak, "Another point I was going for was that I don't care. Discrimination? If I'm going to be discriminated against for loving you than that's okay because you know what? The only people who matter are your friends and my friends, and each other. No one else."

Bria took a deep breath, "Also...before we set up boundaries...this is who I am. I'm...a sexual person, and I want you. I want Moony. I don't...act on it, because I already promised that I would try to make sure not to do something you're not okay with that would cause the wolf to come out, right? That's why no holding me in public. I felt...happy...on Saturday night, Remus. Really happy, because Moony was honest with me, and he couldn't even speak words. He wanted me, too."

"My sexual nature is only enhanced by my partner, it appears. I'll admit, I'm not exactly fond of bestiality, mostly because if I get even a taste of human in my mouth I will go berserk and while you may think that I won't, that is my hard limit." Remus took a breath. "I do want you, too, but I want slow. I want to make sure that this is something that can last. I want an emotional connection. Does that make sense? I can relax some limits. You can hold me in public, allow me to hug you and kiss you since I know now that I can handle that."

"R-Really?" Bria sniffed, "L-Like I said, I'd give you patience. I agree to slow, for you. I'm...I'm sorry for being so...so...I don't know. I'm trying my best to make sure you're okay with things, because I don't want to lose you. It took me a while to be completely open up to Rae, too. I'm willing to agree to whatever you want because I'm scared. I don't want to be abandoned again. I'm sorry if that makes me...too clingy...too desperate..."

"Stop, stop." Remus cooed. "Stop." He gently took her hands into his. "Even if this doesn't work. I promise you that next time we will sit down and talk like decent human beings rather than letting this fester."

Fresh tears fell but she nodded vigorously, "Okay. I understand. So...I guess...we just have to keep anything too intimate out of our...group unless it's Rae and Sirius around. Sirius really didn't seem to care. I suppose that's because you two have already shagged."

"Probably." Remus shrugged. "According to Padfoot, Moony sees him as a mate of sorts. But we don't get overly sexual with each other if he's using the perfume. So far only you affected Moony like that. I'd consider that a proud moment."

"Moony seemed really confused with me at first, honestly," Bria furrowed her brows, "I'm not sure I had much of a scent to begin with so my...pheromones were pure. Eri did mention something to that effect before," She shrugged, but she moved to get off of him, "Do you want to have a date in the library later in the week? We can hide in the corner and just...be together, even if we're not doing much. Dates don't have to be fancy, as long as it's just us, remember."

"I'd like that," Remus smiled as he leaned up and kissed her gently on the lips. "I'd like that a lot."

()

Sirius was strumming his guitar he'd gotten from Raiden as he hummed to get his voice ready for the song he wanted to do. He was sure Rae would come, even if it was cold and the ground was a bit frosty. It almost fit his mood, but he had set up two blankets transfigured into a tent, the flap open so he could see the lake in front of him. He hoped Rae didn't mind if he wasn't in a completely romantic mood, but they'd planned this little meetup for a few days, he wasn't about to cancel because of a stupid dream.

"Before it's over, full disclosure from this world of mine.
A thousand hours in this tower pushing overtime.
Pour out our pores like open doors, we write the scores of life.
I bet they hit your ears and draw you near like open fire..."

Rachel was walking, hands in her pockets. She wore bright blue sweats and boots. She wore a thermal shirt, a tee-shirt, and two sweaters as well. While it wasn't too bloody cold, she had no meat on her bones and froze easily. The soft frost might as well be a beginning of an ice storm for her. The air was crisp and caught in her lungs. Her breath could be seen in soft white smoke. Her hair was down in order to keep her ears warm, because fuck earmuffs. Especially when she could hear a guitar playing. He was singing a song, but the first verse was a bit strange to her. She walked around the tent and smiled at him as she crawled through. She said nothing, not wanting to disrupt his song.

His voice was soft as he started, but he knew this song would get intense soon enough. He heard footsteps, and knew it was Rae. "The music stops, and the voices ring...give it all you got and recite after me~
Inside this world of mine, I feel like I can fly.
Watch the way I take off, climb so high.
I can break the fall, 'cause I'm untouchable.
No matter what the game is I bet on my on my world..."
He gave a short pause and took a deep breath, hitting the intensity he wanted on the first try, which made him happy, "'Cause I've fought so hard and I'm on my way~...This is all I know~
I'll never give up on my world!"

Rachel crawled through the tent and found a spot for her to sit, crossing her legs she listened intently to his song. His voice was rough, soft but intense. The lyrics though. The first verse didn't make sense, but the chorus sounded like he was trying to trade off a world for a world he enjoyed more. A life where he wasn't touched, could achieve whatever he wanted, and he fought so hard for it. Therefore, why shouldn't he keep it? Rachel frowned, knowing well that a song was a riddle. The answer will only come as long as she listened.

"A silent stream of endless dreams that you play on repeat~
I hope you're staring at the ceiling while you're listening~
Start to finish, this is fitness let the music breathe~
Exercise, shape your mind this might be deadly..."

Sirius enjoyed this song so much he listened to it until he made himself cry one time, voice raw and that was why he played it without missing a single beat. He didn't even look at Rae, his eyes closed, but he did turn his head closer to her direction, acknowledging she was there. He sang the chorus again, before his next verse,

"Sometimes this state is so cold, nothing grows it gets colder, yeah its colder.
It's always summer in time, ease my mind yeah its golden, yes it's golden.
The contrast in life, black in white keeps us honest, keeps us honest.
Nothing matters but moments, so let's own it, yeah let's own it...

'Cause I've fought so hard~
Inside this world of mine, I feel like I can fly~
Watch the way I take off, climb so high!
I can break the fall, 'cause I'm untouchable~
No matter what the game is I bet on my on my world!
'Cause I've fought so hard and I'm on my way~!
This is all I know~ I'll never give up on my world..."

He drummed his guitar pretty good at the end, and then twinkled the higher strings to draw it to a close.

Rachel smiled warmly, certain that applause would only ruin the effect of the song. "I hope you don't give up on your world either." She told him sincerely, knowing that the words of the song was the truth in his eyes. While she wasn't certain about what the song could /mean/, she was certain that there was a world that he escaped to and that he wanted to keep and keep dearly. He fought for it, he made it himself using every resource that he had, including his imagination. "You look dead, sweetie."

"Just, ah...another dream about my family," Sirius sighed and he set his guitar aside, leaning back in the tent and kissed her on the cheek tenderly, "It was...about you, crossing my mother and she hurt you badly. She just kept...hurting everyone, and at the end she mocked me and laughed at me. I wasn't about to cancel, though. I was sure seeing you would help me feel better, anyway. It usually does."

"You should've made me out to be a hero." Rachel sniffed, pretending to be insulted. "You seen what I could do with the desks. Next time, dream of me and I can cuddle your fears away." She kissed his cheek. "But I am sorry that you had a bad nightmare love. I guess that explains why you decided to take me outside when it's below freezing."

"Bria's probably taking advantage of Remus' raised body temperature as a werewolf," Sirius laughed a bit, and he scooted and changed both their positions so he could wrap his arms around her, "How about we talk about something lighthearted? We could start that kink list if you'd like."

Rachel burst out laughing as she cuddled against him. "Alright. Kinks." She wrinkled her nose. "You already know that it's going to depend on the animal I am if we have sex as animagi or not..." she tapped her finger to her lips as she thought about it and frowned. "Of course I'm mostly joking about that. Um...Biting? Biting is good, and scratching, and hair pulling, and table sex. Definitely table sex."

"Now...have you done these things with...that one guy? Or are these your fantasy kinks you think you'd like?" Sirius had to ask.

"Oh the table sex we done before, but he didn't want to scratch me or bite me. He was very afraid of bruising me. Though that's probably because he seen the bruises on my body. Kept assuring the kid I was a tomato and that the bruises don't hurt...he didn't feel comfortable. Which is why we had horrible sex since he didn't want to touch me either. Foreplay was not in his dictionary." Rachel rolled her eyes. "Though if you want my list of fantasy kinks I could give you a decent list. Handcuffs are one."

Sirius held his hands up, "I can go along with biting, scratching, and hair-pulling. I've done those things to Remus when he's in a feisty mood. He never bites me, too afraid, but the other stuff is good," he shrugged, "Fuzzy hand-cuffs, though, of course," he added off-handedly, "But I'd save actually doing anything beyond soft kinks after we've known each other or at least done it for a while and are more in-tune with one another. I wouldn't be afraid to hold you or grip you like you want." He tapped his chin, "Candle wax...scented. That's one of my kinks. Found it out by accident, really. I was messing with one and it dripped on me. It didn't hurt, it actually felt really good. Cozy, if there's a lot of it."

"Oh, hair pulling. That sounds like fun." Rachel grinned. "Candles. You know what, I bet I could make scented wax blocks. That way it lasts longer and we don't have to worry about burning ourselves with a flame. I was thinking more of leather cushioned cuffs." She explained. "I doubt regular cuffs are comfortable on the wrists. Hmmm...is outdoor sex a kink?"

"Eh, too many things to poke you and tree bark scratches on the back sound...uncomfortable, unless you keep your clothes on and that's no fun," Sirius snickered, and he rolled them over so he was half on top of her with her on her back, one of his elbow propped up, stroking her hair, the other on her side, "I do love it when Remus holds me down. Maybe being restrained by things like rope or cuffs isn't a kink for me, but just his hands on my wrists, pinning me to the bed. That's always a turn-on."

"Hmm." Rachel hummed as she closed her eyes to his touch. "I do like being petted." She murmured. "It's not a kink, though it can be a sex thing, it's more of a comfort thing. Bria, Bonnie, and Marcus are the only ones hat know. I love having someone stroke my hair or skin. I'm always touched roughly so it's...nice to be touched like this. Like the way your doing right now. Being held down sounds like fun. That might be something to try."

"I'm glad you told me. I don't mind just sharing anything sexual at this point, I don't have a lot of kinks, honestly," Sirius shrugged, twirling a strand of hair around his finger, "Tell me...why do you want to have sex before Christmas? Is there a special reason?" he kissed her cheek sweetly, lingering before he continued to kiss downward, "No sex out here, high probability of getting caught by a teacher. We could always do a game of Chase to the abandoned classroom."

Rachel laughed, "No, I was just kidding really." Her breathing quickened as he went down her body. It was innocent kisses, but the promise and the idea of it was nice. "We could chase each other to the abandoned class room." She murmured as she reached up and gently threaded her fingers into his hair, caressing his cheeks. "To be honest, I have a bad feeling about December and I just want to feel close to you. You're a very sexual man, Sirius. Just like Bria, only you're not so...." She thought about the word she wanted to say. "Obvious, about it."

"I enjoy giving you the wanting hinting feeling," Sirius agreed, "Bria knows what she wants, which makes guessing minimum. I...make you think about what /you/ want, and just leave the offer," he kissed under her jaw and then sucked on her pulse, "So...do you /want/ to go to the abandoned classroom? Or talk a little bit more?"

"Abandoned classroom." Rachel kissed his lips as she got herself up. Her cheeks were warm and her stomach was filled with butterflies. She felt nervous, anxious even. She was comfortable with her body, sure, and had no problem really with modesty. But this was going to be different and she knew it. She got out of the tent and waited for Sirius to put things away so they could have a good race towards the classroom.

Not the most romantic place in the world, but better than nothing.

Those were her thoughts, until the two of them reached it. He didn't bat hr to it, bit he did manage to pin her to the door for a good snog before he opened it and let her in. The tables and chairs were all pushed back, the fire was lit warming the place, a rug in front of it and two cots stacked on top of each other with throw pillows and blankets draped over it, "It's not much, but I thought we could at least snuggle on it...that was before you decided you wanted to do terrible things," he teased.

Rachel's eyes lit up as she looked at the fire, crackling happily and the pillows that looked unbelievably soft and plush. She was surprised that Sirius thought about this so far. Her stomach fluttered around as she looked at him shaking her head with a smile. "Wasn't expecting this. But a snuggle sounds good for now. You most of all need it." She told him as she stood on her tippy toes and kissed him, putting her arms around his neck and pulling his body close to hers. It could be taken sexually, but she had a feeling that he was the kind of person that needed to feel close. Needed to feel grounded. "Merlin do I love you." She said after they parted. "Been wanting to say that for a while. I'm not expecting you to say it back." She told him.

"I wasn't really...expecting /you/ to say it...so soon?" Sirius fumbled, cheeks red but a grin on his face as he laced his fingers at the small of her back. He semi-danced them to the cots, rocking their bodies back and forth and moving their feet little by little in a ballroom style. "You've been hurt so badly...I thought it would take you longer. I love you, too. I love you because you are special, in so many ways. You have strong beliefs, and strong feelings about those beliefs as well as strong feelings for those that are close to you. The way you defended Bria...that was pretty sexy, I won't lie."

Rachel laughed, her throat clogged and her heart leaping against her chest as if it beat fast and hard enough it could somehow get out. Her stomach still fluttered with butterflies and her head pleasantly fuzzy with happiness and warmth. "I think that's why I'm a Barnoness." Her eyes were filled with mirth. "My anger seems to enhance what little good looks I have." Before he could deny anything, she guided him down to the cot and snuggled to his side, letting him hold her. "I thought of waiting." She admitted after a moment. "I thought of not telling you so fast, so soon. But when I thought of that, I thought of how hurt you'd feel. Not knowing where we are, where I am."

"I would understand, but thank you," Sirius kissed the top of her head, rubbing her arm, "I hope you realize I'm going to say I love you a lot, yeah?" He chuckled, but he decided it would be nice to act upon what they talked about. Turning them, he reached down to her wrists and then forced her down, pinning her hands above her head and he grinned wolfishly down at her, "You /are/ gorgeous. Your dye is fading, but it still looks sexy in the firelight."

Rachel's cheeks flushed and her heart started to beat faster, but the fuzzy feeling in her mind faded and the stomach turning had become filled with heat. She stared at his face as her wrists were pinned and carefully moved her legs to frame his body just slightly. "And you're handsome, but you hear that from all the girls." She teased him breathlessly as she tried to lean up and kiss him.

"It's special when you say it," Sirius promised, and then kissed her back, his body pressing against hers. He pinned both hands with one of his and then reached his now free one to wordlessly make sure that the room was locked and reinforced the silencing charm. Satisfied that they were secure, he returned his hand to her body and then started working off her shirt...only to discover she had another below it, and laughed into her neck, "You're adorable."

"I was freezing cold." Rachel pouted as she tried to tug against his hold. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair, maybe pull off his own shirt, or tug at his neck tie and get him to kiss her again. She decided to go for the gold instead. Using her legs, she propped up her hips to meet his and rolled her body against his, smirking all the while. "Warning you right now, I'm wearing socks and thermal tights underneath the trousers."

"I appreciate the knowledge," Sirius snorted, "I'll prepare for an indoor date next time, then, until it warms up again in March." He shook his head and gripped her hip, thrusting his hips against her pelvis, his trousers tightening as he grew in them. Letting her hands go completely, he shrugged off his cloak for her and allowed her to sit up to shuck her two shirts he'd undone from her shoulders, "There," he hummed, and leaned in, going right for the kill shot at her neck, sucking and licking at her pulse, his hands rubbing along her sides and around her back, hoping his body heat would warm her, "I'm not as warm as Remus, of course, but hopefully that'll change as we get more riled up."

His touch lingered against her skin and made her body warm at the though. Her hands quickly reached for the hem of his shirt and carefully trailed her fingers upwards to check and see if there were buttons. She tilted her neck to give him more access. She let out a soft cry when he licked her neck at a certain spot that was both ticklish and arousing and her body couldn't decide which one it actually was. "Fuck." She whimpered as she finally pulled his shirt and touched what little skin she could reach. "You're warm if you take off this bloody shirt. It's in my way." She teased breathlessly.

Tutting, Sirius shook his head, "So eager. Breathe. This isn't a race," he teased but he slipped it off for her, joining the pile of clothes on the floor, "I'm going to make you lose your mind," he promised, then played with the spot on her neck he discovered. His hands proceeded to unhook her bra and toss it, then he slipped them to the front of her body, taking them fully. Either he had big hands or she had small breasts. They were still growing, he was sure, but for right now they felt nice. Perhaps when she was fully an adult two years from now when they graduated, they would be just perfect. "You're perfect," he purred, and he kissed, nipped, and licked her collarbone, lowering her back down onto the cot, "Let me know if you don't like something, or what you prefer from your passed exploits," he told her firmly.

"What your doing is just fine, but I'll keep you in the know." She told him as she watched him nip and tease her skin. She ran her hands up to his head and gently scratched as his scalp. Her teeth gently gazed on his ear as he passed her. She nuzzled his hair as his fingers gently pinched her nipples, hardening them. Her breath was caught in her throat as the nerve endings shot fireworks through her veins and down to her stomach. She raised her hips again to try and graze his pelvis once more. "Tell me what you like too. Unless you don't know."

"Oh, I know what I like, Remus did a good job at finding out, but right now let me focus on you. You'll get to torture me in a bit," Sirius promised, but gave in and said, "I enjoy being rubbed..." he murmured before he sucked one nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the areola and flicking her pert bud, pinching and rolling her other one, rocking his hips with hers. It wasn't doing much with so much clothing between them, but that was alright. It made things last.

"Fuck." Rachel tossed her head back, her magenta slash pink hair splaying across the pillows and cot behind her. She gripped his shoulders tightly as he tongued her nipple. "You can use a bit of teeth. Not too hard. Just a graze." She told him, her mind going blissfully blank as the warm heat of his mouth mimicked what was happening inside her panties.

Doing what she suggested, Sirius slid his hand down her side and started shifting her pants as if he was going to take them off, but instead, he only moved them a little. Switching breasts, he caught her around the back to hold her to him, their bare bodies rubbing, but then he slid his hand straight into her trousers and touched her through her knickers, feeling her heat and moaning around her nipple, his fingers spreading over her so his index and ring finger caressed her folds, and his middle finger rubbed up and down, mapping her through the fabric, and he smirked a bit when he found her clitoris.

"Ah!" Rachel's legs trembled when his finger pressed against her clit. Her cheeks flushed as she felt herself get a little wetter at his findings. The warmth in her stomach turned back into butterflies and her heart was racing miles and miles ahead, making her think of a panic attack, but not quite. She stared at him with half-lidded eyes and parted lips, vulnerable to his touches. She was scared, but so sure he was there. He was concrete. She said she loved him. He won't leave her so soon afterwards. That, she knew was the hardcore truth.

"Why do you tremble?" Sirius whispered as he kissed his way down her stomach, "I've got you. You enjoy soft and rough touches, so that's what I'm giving you. Is it working?" he asked, stroking his middle finger a little harder, especially where he felt the most wetness, almost dipping into her core, but it was just a teasing promise of what he would be doing later, "I love you...just breathe. I'll take care of you."