Avengers RP Lost Souls Brought by Forgotten Memories - ABANDONED

"Mm...what guy doesn't like savory meat? I don't have /much/ of a sweet tooth, but I did say earlier cocoa's really good," Bucky relaxed a bit and gave her a little smile, one he'd given J.J. when she'd wanted a picture on that mountain. Not that Teresa knew that. "Sour stuff is okay, as long as it doesn't give me lemon face," he decided to play, and sucked his lips together to make a fish face.

Teresa tossed her head back and laughed at the face that he made. "Sour candy makes my jaw twinge and hurt afterwards." She admitted. She was glad that she was getting him to smile. It was small, but it was gentle and filled with amusement. A lighter topic worked. "So do you like Mexican or Spanish food? Something with spice?" She questioned. "Chocolate doesn't count as sweet, though..." She wrinkled her nose. "If you tell me that you like white chocolate, I'm ditching you."

"Haha, it's good depending on what it's used in, like cookies or those white chocolate cookies and cream Hershey bars. Ugh, it's not so good if you have too much of it, though," he amended with a grin. That little twirl he'd done made him want to dance with her more. She'd flowed with it rather well even if it was spontaneous and she was wearing wedges. "As for Mexican or Spanish food? I find stuff like that delicious but not in huge amounts. I like feeling my tongue. Burritos or tacos are great, too. Gimme Italian though...oh man, garlic and meatballs and all the different kinds of salsa...by the way, if you ever wanted to know - the French can keep their hideous frog legs. Sushi and other Japanese food is tasty on the other hand."

Teresa laughed again, "Good thing that I'm not French." She told him with a grin on her face. "Italian, I'll remember that and ask my dad for his spaghetti sauce recipe. Kerica likes Japanese food too and is learning how to cook it. She's good at some dishes, but she's trying to get more and more complex. Sometime she uses us as a way to taste-test her food. Steve'll pretty much eat anything so.." She shrugged. "As for Spanish and Mexican food, that happens to be my area of expertise. Mom wouldn't let me leave the house without knowing how to make a decent tamale or enchilada. I know how to make pretty good salsa if I do say so myself."

"A girl after my own stomach," Bucky joked and his grin widened, then faded as he put his hand over his stomach, "Well...shall we find a pizza place or Italian restaurant? I want something with sauce now, I don't care what. My stomach's all 'feed me', what about you?"

"Lunch." She agreed as she happily squeezed his hand again and turned them around to go down a different street. "Pizza sounds good to me. I know a place you'll love. It's small and the pizza's to die for." She grinned in a teasing manner. "Let's get you fed before you faint on me. I can't carry you in wedges."
()

"Before you even say a word, let the phrase "I told you so" not be any of them," Bucky told J.J. as he dried his hair from taking a shower in the public ones. He and Tessa had spent all day in Brooklyn, seeing everything that there was to see, and hadn't gotten back until at least eight o'clock, having not only lunch but dinner as well in the city. Thankfully...she hadn't asked where he'd had gotten the money. Teresa's feet hurt, but she had told him it was worth it. Natasha had been on the balcony overlooking the lobby when they arrived, giving them thumbs-up. J.J had attempted to intercept him, but as much as she wanted to be genderfluid, she couldn't follow him into the men's showers.

"....As if I'd be so cliche." J.J was sitting on their bed, cross legged and watching as Bucky dried his hair. "I was going to say "I was right" which I was. Now all we got to work on is you and Steve and then you won't need the training wheels anymore." She nodded her head a little as she started to fidget with the locket. "Are you going to go for round two?"

"One step at a time, friend," Bucky snickered, doubled checked the door was locked, and went over to the bed. After draping his towel over his pillow he flopped onto the mattress, his hair fanning the pillow, "You're going to ask. I know you are. So /no/ we didn't kiss...though I'm sure Natasha will try and kill me in spar training tomorrow when she finds out...we /almost/ did." He saw J.J. give him a raised eyebrow, "Ugh...she has this /ridiculous/ tick when she's being flirty...she twirls a strand of her hair. We were at dinner and I caught her hand, doing what I'd wanted to do in the car when she fist did it on our way there. I used her hair wrapped around my finger instead to pull her closer...and then I backed away when I realized what I was doing. It'd been reflex, she's a damn tease!"*

J.J's mouth looked like it was doing a complicated dance between smiling like an idiot and pressing her lips together to hide her disappointment. "You should've just went for it." She told him seriously. "At least you should've kissed her hand and see how well that fared." She grinned a little widely as she looked down at Bucky before climbing on top of him and sitting on his stomach, being careful with her weight so that he didn't think she was going to assassinate him here and now. She bopped him in the nose for good measure. "I think someone has a /crush/." She sing-songed. "I think that this someone should ask her out again too."

"I told Teresa that I planned on leaving eventually...but I didn't know when. That was before the almost-kiss, though...so I think she has mixed feelings. I don't want a relationship that will end up in the other getting hurt. You and I travel too much," Bucky pointed out. Then he paused and watched J.J's face. "Unless I'm the only one that travels now. You have two reasons to stay. A long-lost brother in the locket you treasure, and Quicksilver."

J.J's expression fell a little as she gripped the locket. "No." She said softly. "The family that I treasured in my locket was broken into pieces long before I even managed to..." She trailed off, she never spoke this story, not even to Bucky. The only time they came close was when he had been so badly wounded he couldn't fight. But she could. She gripped her chest a little like she was in pain. "His little sister and my older brother are memories. Memories of a better, happier time, which is sad...but as they should be. Speaking of Quicksilver, he's a gentle person. A sweetheart and he's safe to me, but that doesn't mean he's safe /with/ me." She looked at Bucky and asked seriously. "Are you still safe with me? Am I safe to you?"

"I would hope so," Bucky told her honestly, "I consider you safe in both ways. Whether you do or not is up to you. I feel as though you would break his heart if you left, an his sister would never forgive you. You're getting deeper every day. Pietro is an all or nothing type of guy...you realize this, right? Even if you ask him, and he tells you it's okay, it really won't be. He'll have a smile on his face but it won't reach his eyes." Reaching up he brushed hair from his companion's vivid green eyes, "Those memories you refuse to share with me...you have to ask yourself, will you share with him? You will have to tell someone eventually, or they'll eat you alive."

She grabbed his hand as it brushed against her cheek and kept him there. Her heart was beating fast. She knew he was right. He was right to tell her because he too was going through the same thing. Having the memory taunt him and nightmares sometimes plague. She took a deep breath in, watching him and then letting it out slowly. "Then I am safe to you, with you. Wherever you go, I go. Wherever you stay, I stay. Just like I promised you." She said after a moment. There was another long pause and she watched him steadily before saying, "But can you truly leave someone that can make you happy? That can teach you more about what happiness and home and love is? I can only teach you so much, Bucky. She can give you more. She can take you to places that I can't. If you leave her...she'll make a choice on whether or not to follow you. You know Steve will search the world for you as well."

"I think...it's too early for either of us to tell. I have a feeling in my gut something's going to happen this week and it won't be for the better. We might need to leave...or we might need to stay. I don't want to be here more than I have to, though...I do /not/ belong here, and that was part of my reasoning with Teresa when I told her I would leave. I feel...out of place, alien, and having everyone watch me with suspicion is slowly grating on me. The judgmental looks..." he shook his head, "I stick out like a sore thumb. You...you blend in. You are adaptable, and everyone's fallen for your charms - with or without your little Empathy tricks."

J.J's teeth gazed against her lip as she slipped off Bucky's stomach and she curled up against his side. "I hate it here." She admitted softly and just as she said that there was a soft rumbling of thunder. Too far to do any damage. "I'm surprised neither one of us has gone crazy yet." She took a breath. "But we're going to be okay." She promised. "We got each other and that's all we need. If we leave, we leave together. If we stay, we stay together. I'll be damned if I get left behind. I might get run over by a train knowing my luck."

"Pietro would save you, I'm sure," Bucky chuckled. He got up so he could turn off the light and returned to J.J's side so they could curl up together. "We'll see how tomorrow goes. One day at a time." He said in a final tone, wrapping his arm around her body protectively.

~*~

The chanting was loud enough to shake the Cage and the way that some of them stomped their feet or jumped out of their seats sounded like a boom of thunder. She stared at her opponent before her, her British Commando knife was in her hand, and she watched as her opponent hissed at her. They called him the Crusher, because once he got his victim in his grip, he crushed their bones and body into shapes.

Her heart was thundering loudly in her chest, and her blood echoed through her ears. It was louder than the crowd, and she could lose herself in it. She twirled the knife, nicking herself since she wasn’t any good at the flair. She retreated into her mind, thinking in French about what she was going to do when this battle was over.

She was going to keep her dinner down this time. She wasn’t going to feel regret. She’ll mourn the loss the same way she mourned every loss. With a scream and with tears falling down her cheeks. Sentimental they called her, but it didn’t matter.

She wore white. White like a virgin, like a blushing bride. White like snow and feathers. She wore her combat boots that she managed to scrub blood off of, and her surgical mask had been painstakingly bleached. She wore a tube top, but this time she wore loose pants so that she could get down on her knees.
She would have to get down low for this opponent to fall. There was a loud drum that sounded with a mighty BOOM and it startled her into reflex just like the Crusher did. He went in for a fast bear hug and she ducked down low and sliced his stomach and kicked him hard against the abs. He stumbled backwards, surprised to have been cut but not at all deterred that she had pushed him.

What’s a shove going to do with a man purely made of muscle?

She was pretty sure he taunted her.

She was pretty sure the taunts meant nothing.

In honesty, she had nothing. Didn’t mean anything to anyone. But she had a locket of angel wings, a picture of a family that she could return to one day.

He came at her again, this time going down low. She waited until he picked her up, switched hands, and stabbed him in the eye.

The howls reminded her of the strongest wind.

"/Jayden/!" Bucky said firmly, using only one hand to shake his companion because both would make her panick. She had woken him with her thrashing, smacking him in the face. Times like these only her full name would rise her or she'd lose herself, because no one in the nightmares knew her precious secret. "Jayden, réveille-toi!" Wake up! He shouted in French.

J.J's eyes snapped open and she sat up fast and quick, breathing heavily and she looked up at him. Her head spun from lack of air and from how fast she managed to sit. She stared at Bucky incredulously for a moment before she registered that she was somewhere else. The ghost of the Crusher was still fresh in her memory and she closed her eyes, swallowing, before opening them again. "Je suis désolé." She murmured. "I didn't..." She took a sharp inhale. "I didn't hurt you did I?" It wouldn't be the first time they would've hurt each other during a nightmare or just waking up from one.

"Just bashed my nose, but I'm otherwise alright," Bucky assured, holding up his hand for her to see, then moved it slowly towards her face to brush at her hair, "The storm's gotten fairly bad. The lightning in the window has been making me tense, but I've been too focused on you. It's four in the morning...and there's no chance you're going to sleep again, are you?"

J.J thought of the ring, of the blood, of the man that would soon be torn apart by her knife. She was pretty sure she made a squeak in the back of her throat. "No." She managed to say. "No I can't..." There was a loud rumble and a flash of lighting, allowing her to see just for a millisecond how coiled up Bucky was. He was like a spring. She felt her skin gather goosebumps as she felt a cold draft. "Are you?"

"I won't be able to until it calms down out there," Bucky shook his head as well, "Do you want to go find something to do?"

J.J's face immediately turned into panic. "I can't go outside." She told him quickly. "If I go...I can't." She shook her head. "I'm going to stay in here. You don't have to stay." She told him sincerely. "If you need to calm down in your own way, you don't have to be here with me."

"Shh, it's okay," Bucky stroked his thumb on her cheek, "Take deep breaths. I'm gunna get dressed and head out, but right back so don't lock the door on me, okay?" He smiled disarmingly and stood up, going to the dresser and doing just that, not bothering with his hair much besides running a hand through it. He waved to J.J. who had turned on the light for him, and he left the apartment. Heading down he reached 186 and knocked on the door. The large crack should've woken the light sleepers, and vaguely he hoped Steve was alright. He hoped it would be Wanda who answered, not Pietro.

Wanda was curled up on the sofa as she heard the rumble of thunder and crack of lightening. She was really thankful that storms were hard to shake Pietro awake. She couldn't sleep with all the flashing lights. She brought the fleece blanket closer to her as she read by the small lamp that they had, and looked up in mild surprise when she heard the door knock. It was soft, like it was trying not to disturb anyone.

She walked over to it and opened it. His mind was the hardest one to read because it was starting to become complex. Holes that were in his mind were repairing themselves slowly, but was filled with insecurity and was racing as if searching for something to hold on to. His eyes that had been haunted was getting lighter...and he looked wide-awake. A solider in a battlefield would wake up to storms like these. His mind right now though was tossed in with worry about J.J and about Steve. At least she assumed it was J.J...he was caressing a name very much like a worry stone. "Steve is probably in ve reading room or ve gym." She offered to the tired solider. "But you're here for another reason, no?" She tilted her head. "I don't wish to vake up Pietro if I can help it." It was way to early in the morning for her brother and she didn't want him tired before the day could even start. Last time had been different, this time...it just wasn't a good idea.

Bucky took note of her outfit but that was it. He looked over her shoulder and spotted the bookshelf in their living area, "A book...or three, for J.J. to read. Do you have any that are series-based? Last time she spoke with you about books. Right? She won't be going to sleep anytime soon and anything to keep her mind busy will work. She also won't be leaving the apartment today."

Another bad dream. Wanda shouldn't be surprised. However this was twice in a row. Could meeting Slate really have such a negative effect? She would've thought that seeing someone lost after a long time would ease the nightmares, not make them worse. Then again, she didn't know J.J's story. She knew everyone's, it was hard to keep her out of their mind and it was hard not to explore. Yet J.J was a manipulator just like herself, cancelling out the powers with ease.

She cursed it a little. Maybe if she wasn't a manipulator, she could help with the dreams she was having. Wanda opened the door further to let him in if he wanted as she wandered to the bookshelf. Sometimes she had to question her brother's taste in women, at the same time perhaps they had more in common than what was beyond the surface. She picked seven books from her shelf. Three of them were the first three of the series, and the other three was from a different series. The seventh was a stand alone novel that could be read at her leisure. They were all thick books and would probably take J.J a while to read.

"If she wants ve others," Wanda said as she came back to him and placed them in his hands. "I'll be more than happy to lend her more." She smiled a little. "That should keep her busy for quite some time. If she finishes them, have her leave them in the hallway, I'll pick them up. If she wants ve others, I can pass it along to you or Pietro." She shook her head. "She needs someone safe to talk about her dreams with." She frowned. "I do not like seeing her in pain...in distress."

Buck took the books gratefully and nodded to her, "Multumesc. Acest lucru este foarte util." Thank you. This is very helpful. He told her in Romani. "I'm going to be working out, if anyone's looking for me," he informed her, and waved before turning and leaving to go back to J.J.

Wanda was a little surprised that Bucky knew Romani, but she smiled in response as he left. She really hoped that the books worked out for J.J. She closed the door behind him and went back to the couch to read again.

At least an hour after Bucky had been there, there was a huge CRACK of thunder and bright lightning that could blind someone for a second or two. Pietro jerked awake by the violence of it, and he groaned before he pulled his arm from Wanda's lap and did a full-body stretch. "Vat time iz it?" he mumbled to his sister, face still half in his pillow, accent super thick with sleep.

Wanda glanced over at the digital clock that was on her side of the bed. "It is five-thirty." She murmured quietly as she closed her book that she was reading and looked at him. "I vas hoping that the storm did not vake you." She frowned.

"Dat vas verry loud," Pietro brought his hand up and rubbed his pinky into his ear, "Like firework..." he shrugged, "Picătură Jaybird de?" Jaybird drop by?

Wanda shook her head. "Bucky venit acum o oră pentru a cere pentru cărți." Bucky came by to get some books. She pursed her lips together. "J.J nu vor veni din apartament astăzi. A avut un coșmar proastă a avut din nou." J.J won't be coming out of the apartment today. She had a bad nightmare again.

"Serios? Ești serios?" Really? Are you serious? Pietro groaned again and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He got up and grabbed a pair of sweatpants to throw on, "I'm gunna crash in her room. I azzume Bucky's not dere?"

Wanda nodded, "He is vorking out at de gym. I told him dat should J.J want any other books dat I'd give dem to you or him. I'm sure you two are de only ones allowed in de apartment." Her eyes lowered back to her book and paused just a bit before looking at her brother when he was done kind of dressing and was getting ready to leave. "Sper că vorbește cu tine." I hope she talks to you.

"I hope zo, az vell," Pietro sighed and sped over to give her a quick kiss on the cheek before he flashed out of the apartment. He knocked on J.J.'s door when he reached it, yawning while he waited.

J.J jolted when he heard the door knock. Once Bucky had came and left him the books, he changed out of the nightgown and put on dark blue boxer briefs and a over-sized shirt. He didn't bother with a binder since he wasn't going to go out of the apartment. He heard the knock again, probably figuring that he didn't hear the first one and he slowly got out of bed, dragging the blanket wrapped around his shoulders with him. He had turned off the main lights after Bucky left the apartment, enjoying how the lightening flashed into the room. He did leave a few lamps on so that he didn't crash into any furniture. He loved watching and listening to the storm outside. It was kind of soothing. He opened the door a crack to see who it was that was knocking. "Silver Lining?" His voice cracking between a woman's and a pubescent boy. "What are you doing up?" He pulled the door open just a little more, but not a lot. He was certain he looked awful.

"May I come in?" Pietro asked, eyes still droopy. He looked J.J. over, and noticed the voice change. So, boy today. Made sense, honestly, for the situation. "I got voken up by dat big boom. I vas vondering if ya'd like company? Wonda said Bucky vasn't here."

"Yeah..." J.J stepped away his mind immediately yelling at him for being stupid. Why would he let a stranger into a safe house? He shut down that logic. Pietro wasn't a stranger, he was safe at least. As long as J.J stayed awake and didn't go back to sleep over the storm's white noise. "Storms are his kryptonite so he's trying to wait out the storm and tire himself out if he can." He rubbed his lips together as he shut the door behind Pietro when he came in. He remembered that when Pietro was half-asleep it was best to let him go back to it. "Come on, you can have my side of the bed. Ya look like you're going to fall over dead."

Pietro started as he looked around the apartment as Jayden led him to the bedroom, "Your area is smaller than mine and my sister's..." he said quietly, "This is the first time I've been in here..."

J.J tugged on the blanket a little more tightly around his shoulders. When he had visited Pietro's place, it was spacious and it felt more like a studio. He remembered that their walls were still white, but it was so much nicer and bigger, they didn't feel close. Here the carpet was a little on the dull side. They didn't have a dresser and clothes were scattered about in piles and trails. Dirty, clean, Bucky's, J.J's woman clothes, J.J's men clothes, his binder. The couch was awful, lumpy looking and dull as well. Honestly if there was /one/ nice thing in the apartment, it was the tablet that was sitting on the only table in the apartment, unpolished and looked old. "It's nicer than what we usually get." He offered timidly, but knew too well that it was a poor defense.

"No...that's not...what I meant," Pietro shifted uncomfortably. Honestly, the sectioned off bedroom was a bit bigger and he sat down on the standard issue bed, biting his lip, "I hate elevators." He said, seemingly random.

"You're claustrophobic?" J.J asked curiously looking at him as he sat down on the bed next to him. He brought his legs up to the mattress and crossed them comfortably as he watched Pietro bite his lip. It would've been cute had it been any other moment, but not now.

"I told you how Wanda and I were in confinement, right?" Pietro asked, "The cells were like a prison. Wanda isn't bothered by small spaces, even after that, but...it was awful. No matter which direction I ran I couldn't get out." He shuddered.

"It sounds like a kennel." J.J said slowly, bringing his knees up to his chin. "It's a square room, just enough for a bed." He explained. "For someone that needs the wind at their back, it's torture in more ways than one, I'm sorry Hummingbird." He reached, but then quickly thought better of it and then grabbed onto his blanket in a death grip. If he touched him, he worried that he'd bleed. He shakily cleared his throat. "You don't have to stay with me if this room's too small." He hoped his smile reached his eyes. It was a damn shame that he couldn't affect him, but at the same time so glad that the fates were kind enough to give him someone that he /couldn't/ hurt. "You can leave, or I can...no...I don't think I could. I'd offer to leave the door open, but..." His eyes flicked. "I think I'd only leave the bedroom door open. Not the apartment one..."

"De bedroom door iz fine," Pietro agreed, and he reached out to take J.J's hand that he'd retreated, "Don't ever be afraid ta touch me..." he told.../him/ firmly, "Remember our spar yesterday? It's okay." He brought Jayden's hand to his own face, "See? Nothing's happening. Yer okay."

A sharp whimper went through his throat as he watched Pietro take his hand and made him feel his cheek. The rough scratch of his scruff and the way his cheekbones felt against his knuckles. He watched, breath caught, as he waited for something to happen...but he was right. Nothing was happening. No blood, no bruises...just calmness. Instead of feeling an adrenaline rush like he normally felt off of him, it was quiet, it more like caffeine. It wasn't too high. Just...moderate. Without thinking, he asked. "Are you saying I'm safe with you?" He pursed his lips together, afraid of the answer. "No...you don't have to answer that. I'm sorry." It was too fast. Bucky said that they had to take one step at a time, not one fucking leap. "I'm really sorry."

"If ya vant ta be zafe vith me, ya can be," Pietro murmured, bringing his fingers to his lips and kissing the tips one by one, slowly, tenderly, and he slowly brought his other hand up to trace a scar on J.J.'s neck, "It's all up ta you. I've told ya de base of my nightmares...and one of my big fears. One can be trapped in more vays than one, though, not just in a tiny space. I don't vant ya to be trapped, be it within yer mind or in a room."

J.J felt tears prick against his eyes and before Pietro could do or say anything he ripped his hand away from him only to toss himself bodily against the man and hugged him tightly, nuzzling his neck and just holding him close. He tried not to whimper, tried not to start crying his eyes out. The nightmares could ring in his head, but the screams were silencing. It was like that small bit of energy that he had he was swallowing greedily as if he was trying to drown out all of the demons. "I'm scared." His voice was high pitched more like a woman's in distress than a man's. It was hard to admit it. Harder when it was someone that he only knew for a week, but stupid bravery kept him talking. "I'm scared that I'll be swallowed up again and I won't get out this time. I can't stay in one place because what if...what if I'm sent back? I'm happy I met Slate, but...I just fucked up on so many levels. And the people here are nice..." he was pretty sure he was crying, his voice was breaking in so many different words but he kept going. "But I'm so scared that I'm going to hurt them. I don't want to be familiar to them because they'll hate me when I do, and I don't want them to hate me and oh gods I don't want you to hate me either. I care about you, you're safe. I'm just...I'm just so scared, Peitro. I'm terrified."

"Sent back? Why would any of us send ya back ta a terrible place that gave ya all dose scarz?" Pietro shifted Jayden so he was curled more comfortably in his lap, and he slid his hand under the shirt he had, tracing where he remembered one scar to be, "We hurt each other all de time in practice. Don't ya remember de gash on Kerica's cheek from Natasha's heel? Unless ya break someone's arm, or exploit weaknesses because dat's just rude, hitting below the belt, no one's really going ta think twice about it."

He tensed a little in Pietro's arms and shivered when he felt him trace the scar. It was weird, it was ticklish still since he wasn't used to it, but it wasn't like he was trying to exploit him either. He was just touching and honestly it...it was kind of nice. Being touched without the threat of harming someone. He could feel that Pietro was tired, but he wasn't as tired as he had been during the first nightmare. Probably because J.J had tossed himself into his arms without warning. That'd wake up anyone...and would get him thrown to the floor had it been Bucky. "I know what you're saying is true." J.J said, his voice watery and his throat tight with a lump. "But it's like...my mind's finding all these reasons for you to be /wrong/. You are right though, I did make a mistake. You wouldn't send me back." He swallowed. "S.H.I.E.L.D needs Bucky here and I'm kind of the...surprise package? The unexpected hostage? It'd be really stupid if you sent me back." He held his tongue about what they'd really do....and it had to be really fucked up if he took more comfort in it than was normal. "Thank you...."

"You're not a hostage," Pietro looked slightly offended at the accusation, "Surprise package is better." He leaned down and gently kissed J.J's forehead, "I am here for you, Jayden. Any secrets, any fears, you can tell me. I won't pressure you, though. In your own time. The cage can't hold you forever."

The cage couldn't hold him....J.J looked at Pietro as he stared down at him. Every emotion that he felt was sincere. He was telling the truth, the honest to god truth. The cage /couldn't/ last forever. The wires would get rusted, the door wouldn't close as tight...and Pietro was just waiting for him to realize that. At least...right now it wasn't time yet, but he'd wait...letting him pick and chose how he'd get out. Also, that's the second time he's been kissed and the way his name sounded against his lips. He listened to his breathing, how his chest would rise and fall with every inhale and exhale. His scent was also calming, and gentle. He was reminded back when they went outside and how they touched each other, explored to see what boundaries were okay and weren't. "Stay here with me? You can sleep so you're not dead. I can sneak into the cafetiera get us food, but...I don't like leaving the apartment when I'm like this." Cold, scared...looking for assurances. "When my nightmares get this bad...it's just safer for everyone involved if I'm holed up in my room. You can come in anytime though when you're not busy...I'll let Bucky know when he comes back so he doesn't freak out that I have you in here." Not that he'd freak out so much as start teasing him mercilessly and then going around telling people. People being Steve and maybe Nat.

"I can get food for us. I'm faster, obviously. Just wake me up at eight. I'll stay with you, and we can just chat today. I don't technically work here like Kerica does, I just have general tasks and an overall schedule, but I'm sure there's lots of people who aren't going to sleep very well thanks to the storm. So, don't worry about it, Jaybird," he smiled and moved his hand from under his shirt to stroke his cheek. Then he shifted so he laid mostly on his stomach, hugging the pillow under his head, and he kept his arm draped around J.J's waist, like he was sleeping with Wanda next to him before, "I'm not gunna go anywhere, I promise."

Maybe tomorrow J.J would be brave enough to return the kisses. As for right now though, he reached over and started to lightly scratch at Pietro's scalp, threading his fingers through his hair as he got comfortable where he was sitting. "Goodnight, mon cheri."

~*~

Pietro left the apartment and not even fifteen minutes later, which was a blink of an eye to her, there was a knock that was coming at her door. Mentally she crossed off Bucky because there was no way J.J read all seven books that quickly even if she did have photographic memory, but it couldn't be her brother either because he wouldn't knock. She set the book down again and walked over to the door. If it wasn't Bucky or her brother, then...she would find this highly ironic if it was Steve looking for Bucky. She opened the door and blinked. "Vision?" She stared at him. "You vere not someone I vas expecting." Then again, it felt like that was the story of her night tonight. "Vould you like to come in?"

"You do not have to, my dear," Vision told her, smiling gently, "I know of everyone's feelings on thunderstorms from my time as Jarvis, and I was making rounds because it's rather violent out there. Steve is not in his room, and neither is Kerica. I noticed the Soldier was also gone from the life signatures in his room...and instead your brother is there with J.J. You, Dr. Rivera, and Natasha are really the only ones awake but in your designated apartment." His eyes were drawn to the beautiful red nightgown that looked like silk, "Oh, how lovely. That compliments you in a rather stunning way."

Wanda couldn't help but to feel flattered that Vision had looked at her nightgown and smiled. "Thank you, Kerica bought it for me as a gift. My brother helped her vith it." Wanda said with a bashful smile on her face and she tucked her hair behind her ear. "J.J had a rather violent nightmare from vhat I understand from his mind. It has been twice now that she has been plagued. I vish I could help her, but I cannot do anything. Bucky came by to get books for her, as she is not going to leave the apartment any time today. Vether or not the veather is good or bad. He told me he vas in the gym. I think Steve is there too, but I am uncertain. I'm sure Kerica is there vith him." Wherever Steve went, Kerica was sure to follow. Wanda was kind of glad that they started dating. The tension had been killing her with the way they couldn't keep their minds off of each other. Literally.

"You are velcome to come inside regardless though." She continued, shifting her weight a little as she looked into Vision's eyes. His mind was just so beautiful and relaxing. An ocean's tide if she was to describe it. "Unless you must leave soon to continue vith patrol?"

"The patrol was voluntary. I can join you if you wish it of me," Vision's long stride had him in the apartment in two steps, and he watched as she closed the door behind him. Reaching out, he placed his hand on Wanda's waist and drew her close, "Has the storm been a bother to you, my dear?" he asked softly.

"Just ve lightning." Wanda answered as she leaned a little more into his hold. She enjoyed the way that he made her feel safe and secure without having to try to hard. "It's hard to sleep vith ve flashes. Does the storm bother you at all?"

"No, not at all. I believe besides Teresa I'm the only one in our immediate group of comrades who doesn't mind thunderstorms." Vision's hand slid up and down Wanda's back, rubbing soothing circles into it, "Wanda, may I ask you a personal question?"

Wanda hummed her consent and they took their seats on the couch. She was curled up against him, but it was more of a comfortable snuggle than it was her practically getting on his lap. "Vhat is it?" She asked as she rested her head against his shoulder, feeling how he didn't cease in rubbing her back. It felt really good and relaxing.

He felt like he should drag her into his lap anyway...but would that be a good or bad idea? He decided to ask his question before he got distracted, "What do you think of me? I find you rather captivating, intelligent, and lovely, but there are many different kinds of people and how they take the idea of relationships are different as well. I feel being outright with you is my best course of action. Am I wrong?"

Wanda smiled as she looked at him. "You are not vrong." She promised him. "Your mind is unlike any other I've ever known and you are handsome and a good conversationalist." She could name a thousand other things that were good about him, but his mind and the way he saw things...the way that he always sees things. It was never judgmental or strained. He didn't make his judgements until he saw the person for what they were...however they were. Her heartbeat was a little fast as she asked in her own careful way, "Are you asking me to court you?" Or to date? She pursed her lips together hoping that she didn't overreach her thoughts with this conversation.

"I have grown rather fond of you, and I would be happy if you would, my dear," Vision gave her a tender smile and he brought his hand up to stroke her cheek, "May I kiss you? I have been wanting to, but I did not know how you would feel. With Kerica and Steve finally becoming a couple, I have been feeling like it's about time I did something."

Wanda laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck. It was gentle, careful, but with tenderness not with fragility. "If Kerica and Steve are ve reasons." She said slowly. "Den we should have gotten dem together sooner." She searched his eyes and murmured, "Sărută-mă." Kiss me.

~*~

Kerica curled in further on herself in the huge squishy chair as the rumbles shook the building and rattled the windows. She'd been up since the first crack of thunder hours ago and had just decided to take a small blanket of hers and curl up in the get-together slash reading room that was next to the library. Her kindle was in her grip and she swished her hand across the screen to go to the next page when she heard the door. Glancing up, she saw Steve. His eyes were wide, shifty, and his body was tense, ready to dodge an attack or something. What did she do? He looked like he'd had a nightmare, if the bags under his eyes were any indication. Um...um...humor? "You're missin' your beauty-sleep there, Cap'n."

He looked over at her and smiled, but it didn't exactly reach his eyes and looked a bit painful. "Yeah, with the storm happening, sleep's going to make itself scarce. What about you? Shouldn't you be asleep?" He asked as he took one of the chairs, but kept himself closer to the door than the window. He watched the kindle's light reflect off of Kerica's face.


"I could watch the lightning show all night, but...it's the thunder that bothers me," Kerica admitted, rubbing her eyes. She reached over to the nearby table and set the device down so she could shift positions and fix her red and black tied blanket that looked hand-made instead of store-bought, "I've been awake since the damn thing started...I think I'm looking at a 24-hour run unless it calms down at all. You look like you just woke up...was it that huge ass exp...oooh," it clicked just then and she watched the muscles in his face tick, "PTSD is a bitch." Slowly she got up, "You know there's this thing between us called a couch, and you have a girlfriend to cuddle now," she tried to coax, giving him a playful, exaggerated grin and moved her upper body and arms in a cute little jig.

Steve snorted but shook his head. "No it's...I don't want to accidently hurt you and if I need to bolt..." he gestured to the door. "It's just safer." As much as he wanted to hold her, and by god did he...it wasn't that he thought she was fragile. It was that he could /really/ hurt her if the thunder echoed like that again. He would flashback to the days where the bombs were everywhere, the explosions...the train. He took in a deep breath. "But I'm...I can chat." Chat would help so much right now. Talking...keeping his mind focused on something other than the memories that threatened to drown him.

"Well then, /I'll/ sit on the couch all by my lonesome and you'll give me your hand. Solutions," Kerica gave him an understanding smile and she grabbed her blanket. He was right, unfortunately. He could crush her without a thought. Getting in the corner of the couch closest to him, she draped the blanket over her legs and she put her kindle to sleep so she could focus on her boyfriend. "Boyfriend...girlfriend...those are such foreign words. No one's ever dated me before. What about you?" she didn't reach for his hand, instead she just laid hers open on the arm of the couch for him to take whenever.

Steve shook his head. "Not a dame in the 1930's really wanted to give me a good look. I wasn't well back then." It was in the history books that he had been sickly with everything under the sun and near death so many times. He was pretty sure his ma called for a priest more than what was acceptable. "Almost had a dance partner, but...we weren't close enough for the whole my girl or my man type of talk." He paused and glanced at her, the lighting flashed and he breathed in sharply through his nose, held it and slowly let it through his mouth. "Why not you? You're a good looking woman." At least, he was pretty sure that Bucky, way back then, would've been all over her.

He would've tried, but...skinny and unhealthy wasn't on the list for anyone's potential significant other.

"Mm..." Kerica wanted to sooth him, but until he gave her permission to touch him, she'd just make matters worse, "Imagine the lightning as sparkly fireworks if you can, Lionheart," she murmured, resting her head on the back of the couch, just watching him, "No one ever looked twice at me. I used to have short hair in elementary school. Can you imagine that? People thought I looked like a boy. The boys themselves? Well...when they got bigger with puberty, and I stayed little, they thought I was the perfect target for bullying."

Steve sighed. As much as he liked fireworks, he seen plenty of them in the war too. Just not the pretty kind. Her voice was calming, and she was doing her best. So it wasn't like he could fault her on that. "Did you ever get them back?" He asked after a moment. "And Lionheart?"

Kerica's face turned beat red, but one answer at a time. "Okay. Ready for a funny, dramatic story that /actually/ happened? One time biking home in the autumn, some boys from a lower grade were across the street and they started taunting me. I rode over to them, almost slammed my bike on the grass and threw off my backpack and then my heavy jacket. They looked shocked I was so angry. I demanded if they wanted to fight. Now...I'd just started taking martial art classes so I was only a green belt, but I was confident in my abilities and I was mad because I'd had a bad day already. The biggest one of the group said 'sure' and...well...I clipped him in the chin with a crescent kick and knocked him back. The look on his face told me he knew /exactly/ what would've happened if I'd fully connected with his face."

He laughed a short yet loud sound and he could imagine how that must have looked. "Tae Kwon Do right?" He asked remembering this from their last conversation. While it was uncommon for a girl in a street to actually /punch/ let alone kick someone, "You, Becca and Peggy would've gotten along just fine, then. Bucky too, he'd find that story hysterical." His heart squeezed in his chest. He did get his friend back, and that was...that was more than he could ask for. The price for it...he reached up to the arm and gently stroked the back of Kerica's hand, but didn't go further yet.

Kerica's fingers twitched, desperate to latch onto him especially as there started to be clunks and pangs against the windows. Hail. /Fantastic/. "As...for Lionheart..." she bit her lip shyly, "I remember reading about and seeing a picture of you before you became a super-soldier. All I could really think about was...how fierce your eyes were. Determined and hopeful, as well as full of strength and willpower. Not...to mention those luscious locks of yours. As ill as your body was, your hair was so shiny and fluffy." She might as well be as red as her blanket she was so embarrassed.

"You're a hell of a catch, Keri." Steve laughed again, shaking his head. The hail he could handle...just a bit. It sounded like bullets ricocheting from his shield. "Don't give that line to Tony. He thinks it's funny that I'm from ice. If he finds out that I'm a lion too, he's never going to end it with his nicknames." Not that Tony's nickname's were bad.

"What about the others? Should I only call you Lionheart in private? I don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with." Kerica enjoyed how her nickname sounded on his tongue, "I still think your eyes are everything I just described...only...haunted. I want to be the one you go to for comfort, but all good things come in time, right? Sorry in advance if I get too impatient. I'm a very touchy-feely person. That's tough in a group full of people who'll sooner punch you than hug you if you go flying at them."

"I don't mind the nickname in public. I'm going to get teased regardless and I don't mind that. As for hugs, though, you could ask J.J." Steve offered. "Or Dr. Rivera. Natasha might since your her student. Clint would without a doubt hug you. Tony might." Tony would only if he was forced and tied down, and that image was enough to make him chuckle. "I don't know about anyone else. If Banner was here he would." He paused. "He could keep Tony from going batshit insane with the damn tower. He's almost done by now. Or done and just waiting for a right time for his grand reveal."

He took a breath. "But I understand the need to touch, and in case you haven't noticed, I did go to you for comfort. It's not...the kind of comfort you're used to...but it's helping me."

"We still have a lot to learn about each other," she said softly, "I'm glad I'm helping, Steve." Another topic, before it got too quiet... "Did we ever talk about what our favorite animals were? I don't remember."

"I don't think we did." Steve laughed softly. "I think Tony would say something about an eagle, but...I like cats, dogs..domestic animals. You?"

"All of the feline variety," Kerica grinned, "Big dogs, mainly...I do like wolves and foxes but I'm not...obsessed with them like some of my friends growing up. I'll fawn over all kinds of kitties, though," she giggled, "I guess that's another reason I said Lionheart, because Lions are golden...but I guess you could also be a golden retriever or a yellow lab. Labs and retrievers are really hardy dogs with stomachs of steel."

"Oh no." Steve laughed feeling a little lighter and more comfortable with the idea of holding Kerica's hand. Not all the way into a grip, but a gentle thing of his hand over hers and caressing the top of her hand like a worry stone. Soft, gentle strokes. "A yellow lab sounds more like Thor."

This action made Kerica relax a bit more, her shoulders dropping. She didn't realize she'd been mirroring his tense posture. "Thor...I haven't really had a chance to talk to the guy. He disappeared after the battle with Ultron like Bruce did. I'm sure he's going to be shocked to learn about you and I. Either that or he's going to give you a big slap on the back for a congratulations and complain about how it took too long for you to get a girl. At least the others stopped giving you crap."

"That's because Tony's not here. Thor will probably come around when the tower's finished or when he feels lonely for Jane." Steve agreed as he felt the tension in his body slowly release itself. "I don't know how we're gonna find Banner."

"From what I can tell, he'll come back around on his own. His reputation for being a hero got destroyed when he went crazy because of Wanda's power," Kerica hummed thoughtfully, "Is it odd of me to wonder what I'd see if I went under that spell? She's told me about it, and she also told me she feels awful but you guys won't really let her apologize since she's an Avenger now and all is forgiven."

"She already redeemed herself in our eyes." Steve agreed softly. "She doesn't have to keep apologizing to us for something that we all know could've been any of us. Just like if Bucky ever tried to apologize to me for what Hydra made him do, I wouldn't accept it. You don't blame the people who are trying to do what's right. You blame the people behind them because they knew how to manipulate."

"Very, very true," Kerica grinned, "I wonder if J.J. feels like that about anything? She does walk by Bucky's side...they're pretty much inseparable like the twins are. Yet...she had all those scars on her stomach. I wanted to ask, but didn't feel like it was the right time."

"You saw them too?" Steve looked at Kerica sharply. While J.J did wear a belly shirt that day, he was kind of surprised that no one really questioned it. The people that worked here probably saw worse, or believed the worst. "I wanted to ask too." He admitted softly. "She gave me her full name out of complete trust since Bucky's a friend. No hesitation, she was straight-forward about it. She told me to keep her name secret, and sometimes I mull it over about what the two of them have in common enough to be that close. Sometimes, it makes me jealous...other times I'm overjoyed that Bucky has someone to look out for him since I can't do it."

"Oooh, I see how that'd be a conflict of feelings," Kerica nodded, looking down from his face at his hand and how his thumb rubbed the back of her hand so tenderly, "I hope they stay at least a little longer. I know they're travelers, and getting stuck here under surveillance must be difficult. Have you noticed how shifty they've been? At least Bucky got to go out yesterday. J.J.'s only been out to the campgrounds with Quicky."

One of them was going to go crazy. He smiled and he gently gripped Kerica's hand in his. He wouldn't blame Bucky for going crazy over the surveillance. In fact, he'd go just as wild if he had people looking at him with shifty eyes and suspicion gleaming off them in waves. "Bucky's not too happy about the people." He couldn't blame him in the least and hopefully when the tower was done he could badger Bucky into staying with them there. Better there than underneath heavy suspicion. "J.J though..." The surveillance was mostly water off of the duck's back for her. Sparring though...maybe it was just him that noticed it, but the way that sparring was going was /wrong/. It wasn't that she was doing the moves wrong, but....something was just wrong in the way that she fought. "You gotta be careful arou-" Before he could even finish that sentence a loud CRACK and then KABOOM sounded and shook the floor like an earthquake. Steve ripped his hand away from Kerica's and dove for the chair across from him, turning it into a make-shift shield. His eyes wide and pupils blown and sweat was starting to bead at his forehead. His heart thudding loudly in his chest.

"Ste-eve..." Kerica's voice broke, the tone breathless and shocked. She had her knees by her chest, curled into a ball and she was gripping the hand he'd been holding onto just a second before close to her. Tears sprung in her eyes and she felt her throat tighten with emotion. She'd been just about to snuggle up to his arm when he ripped away from her. He'd told her that it was a possibility, and she tried to rein herself in. If she didn't stay calm then he wouldn't calm down. This was a group effort and she had to be strong for him while he saw flashes of war behind his eyes. Deep breaths and blinking her eyes rapidly so she didn't cry, she tried to relax her body even as she shook like a leaf.

Her name was broken like a cry and a whimper. When the flashes slowly died out and he felt safer to get away from the chair, he was staring at another horror. That was her left wrist that she was cradling. Her left wrist was her weakest part of her body. It was fragile and it was...oh god he did that to her. He did that. There was another crack of lightening, another loud boom and he /shot/ off like a bullet.

~*~

Bucky was sprawled on the ground after doing sit-ups as he just kept his eyes closed and breathed deeply. The gym as bright and the lightning was hardly noticeable at all. He'd almost fallen asleep, laying here, but just as he had the thunder crack jerked him awake again. Grumbling, he sat back up and rubbed his eyes. Ugh. His muscles felt like led. He was half tempted to go see J.J. and check on...ah, right, him today. He stopped himself because Pietro more than likely was doing his job for him.

Getting up, he looked at the clock and went to go change out of his sweaty clothes and into a clean pair of jeans and simple black t-shirt with a wolf head on it, moon in the background. When he came back out, he stopped in his tracks as he saw Kerica throw a violent punch at the punching bag, hard enough to make it swing back and almost slam her in the face if it wasn't for the fact she kicked it. The barrages continued, and he arched a brow. Dressed in a simple pair of red sweatpants that were almost too long for her, barefoot, and donned in a white t-shirt that had blue stars on it, she was quite a vision and he immediately thought of Steve. She was most definitely his friend's woman. Who else could scream 'Merica without even trying? He bet she adored 4th of July and all it's sparkly fireworks and how the stores were filled to the brim in red-white and blue items.

The burst of angry strikes didn't last long, however. That asthma caught up to her quick and his eyes widened when he watched her crumble to the floor. On her right wrist was a hand-crafted blue band that had two stripes of red in the middle, and white in the middle of that, and he watched as she rubbed the charm that looked like a solid pentagram. Was that a comfort item?

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Bucky found himself asking as his body moved on it's own, going to her side and kneeling down. The tears streaming down her face were starting to soak her shirt. "Kerica? Kerica, talk to me," he tired to coax, his voice soft. She just broke down even harder sobbing her lungs out, and her knees came up to her face. Recalling how she liked to hug people, and how she always liked to touch someone, he sat completely down and reached out, drawing her into his lap and rubbed her back with his good hand. She was one of those people who had a lower core temperature, he noticed...with his higher body temp, she felt like she was an ice cube. She also shivered in his touch with the contrast. Glancing around, he spotted a red and black blanket tossed on a bench that hadn't been there before, a kindle balancing precariously on top of it.

Soon, she undid the ball she'd put herself in and her arms wrapped around his body while her head buried in his chest, almost screaming into his chest with what sounded like frustration. What in the bloody hell happened? She was gripping him like a koala would to a tree. Was she that starved of attention?

Granted, he wasn't really a touchy-feely person, but he did remember how he latched onto any conversation topic Teresa threw at him. He wasn't starved for social activity for the hugging and the sappiness, but for the talking. He'd felt comfortable and at home sitting in a restaurant...of course, as long as his back was to a wall or booth so he didn't feel exposed.

It must be difficult for someone with such a big heart like Kerica in a place like S.H.I.E.L.D. She was also a type of errand-girl, with no real solid /job/, just as long as she ran around, doing whatever was needed of her at the time. From paperwork, to supply stalking, to training with whoever needed training in the range or here sparing. She worked with people, sure, but not for any length of time.

At least five minutes passed before Kerica calmed down, and he patted her back before prying her away so he could look down at her properly, "Will you talk to me now, pixie?"

"Pixie?" Kerica sniffed, rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah, pixies are tiny and they bite...or so I was informed via fantasy books," Bucky grinned.

Kerica gave him a soft giggle in return of his joke, sniffing again before she let out a long breath, "I'm afraid of thunder." She explained quietly, and he just tilted his head at her to continue. She explained how she'd been awake since it started, reading in the gathering room when Steve came in, his PTSD making him jitter. She mentioned how they talked about this and that, Steve slowly giving her more of is touch and how she just...wanted to climb into his lap and tell him everything was okay, but she had to be patient.

"Then...then that crack of thunder ruined everything," Kerica almost choked on another sob, "His hand was suddenly gone as he ducked behind a chair across the way. Then he bolted, leaving me all alone."

Bucky stroked her cheek as fresh tears descended, and he felt frustrated with his old friend. "Steve's oblivious at times," he agreed to something she left unspoken, "I was just about to leave and grab an early breakfast. How about you go find Nat in her room? I'm sure she wouldn't mind a cuddle-buddy until /actual/ breakfast."

"I...can't believe I didn't think of going to Natasha," Kerica mumbled and he helped her stand up, "Thank you...I didn't mean to get your shirt soaked with tears and snot."

Bucky shrugged, "Don't worry about it. I've been covered in worse," he reminded and he went over to the blanket, handed her the kindle first and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders like he would with J.J. as blankets were also his comfort item. "I'll see you later today, okay pixie?"

"Alright," Kerica hesitated before she gave him a one-armed hug and left the gym, her walk slow, head down with the kindle clutched close.

Bucky ran his hand over his face and sighed before going the opposite direction. He had a Captain he needed to talk to about how to be a proper boyfriend.

~*~

"Just like a Hydra base...full of mazes and you don't know where things are hiding," Bucky observed the library, "This is actually the first time I have been in here...so you've got the upper hand, friend," he added as he started walking around.

"Upper hand?" Steve echoed back as he could hear Bucky's voice. It was quiet, and it had an echo so he knew who was approaching. "Take J.J up here sometime and she'll give you a map of the place after a while." He could hear Bucky move around, and honestly he couldn't help it, he walked too. Going through the bookshelves, actively avoiding him but at the same time not doing it out of malice. A game...and it kept him from thinking about the storm raging outside.

"If I'm in the middle, which direction would romance be?" Bucky asked for two reasons. One to hint why he was here...two because he did want to see what they had. He saw Steve's shadow, but didn't follow. Instead, he stayed parallel.

"Well...your not exactly in the middle." Steve snorted as he stopped his pacing. He could practically see Bucky's eye roll in his mind. "But the romance sections going to be on your right, but you gotta go down....I'll say about four bookshelves give or take. It's right behind the fantasy/science fiction section." There was a pause. "I told you Tessa was a nine."

"Well, close but no cigar," Bucky chuckled and followed the instructions to go to his desired isle, "Jayden did give up waiting for me outside the showers when I came back, if you catch my meaning. Don't worry, I know she...well, he for the day...told you his name."

Steve remembered that Kerica told him that J.J was genderfluid. He mentally cursed himself for being inconsiderate. "Sorry." He said sheepishly. "I should ask before I start using pronouns. So you going to ask her for another date sometime?"

"Funny enough, Teresa's the one who asked /me/ for a coffee date, and I just turned it into an outing," Bucky explained, then made a soft 'aha' sound as he found the Romance area. His walk slowed as he started reading titles, "I might or I might not. I haven't decided. She and I aren't exactly the issue right now, however."

The silence in the library was a little unnerving. The thunder's rumble was starting to quieten, but the rain was still falling hard on the rooftops. Steve came out of the woodwork and was leaning against the end of the shelf that Bucky was searching. He wasn't trying to trap him in, so he stayed where he was. "...Kerica with J.J then?" He asked carefully. "Or did she go find Natasha?"

"After /I/ comforted /your/ girlfriend I suggested she go cuddle with Nat, since Pietro is currently with Jayden," Bucky explained, and he turned slightly to give Steve an expectant eyebrow raise. Time for his side of the story.

"Damn it Buck." Steve swore as he knocked his head back against the shelf. He was going to have to ask what was up with him calling J.J Jayden all of the sudden, but that was another question for another time. The story was pretty much the same as Kerica's up till "We were talking...and I felt better about holding her hand so I had it in a grip. But when the lightening struck." He shook his head. "It took me back to the war all over again and I dove for the chair, was going to use it as a shield. Really stupid...and then I saw Kerica holding her wrist. It's her left wrist and I remembered that it was weak and..." He shrugged helplessly. "I hurt her and before I could anything there was another wave of thunder and I just left."

"Well then," Bucky ran his hand through his hair, "Aren't you a poor excuse for a boyfriend? I mean really. Instead of asking if she was okay you ran. A soldier wouldn't leave a wounded companion in the ditch even if it was friendly fire, would he?" he demanded, trying to get Steve's head in the game. If he was in Flashback mode where thunder reminded him of explosions then he had to appeal to that side of his brain, "You didn't hurt her, you know. In fact, I didn't notice anything wrong with her arm while she punched the shit out of the punching bag in the gym."

Steve looked where Bucky was still looking through the books. He felt tremendous amount of guilt now for running away and he would have to figure out something to apologize to Kerica for it. "You're serious." He said instead. "She's okay? I didn't hurt her?"

"No. Not one bit, except here," Buck gave Steve a light thud on his chest with his fist, "She felt abandoned more than anything...and that's a guess, not something she said. You're still oblivious to this day, aren't ya, ya jerk? You know it wasn't just your appearance that girls got fed up with. You always looked forlorn and all you wanted to be was a hero, talking about war and stuff. Kerica doesn't need a hero, because you already are one. Instead, she wants to be /yours/. You got a mate who will fight beside you instead of waiting at home wondering if you're alive. You don't want to hurt her, but instead of treating her like a civi, treat her like a comrade. Grab her like you would a fellow soldier, like you would /me/ when you were trying to protect me from those explosions, pal. She's used to bruises and getting banged up. I bet you the world that's exactly what she wants, too."

Shrugging, running out of things to say, Bucky added, "Even if you're not comfortable with that, take this as a learning lesson. Talk to her about what she should and shouldn't do when you're having an episode. You /know/ tonight's going to make the rest of the week hell and it could happen again by something stupid."

Steve didn't speak for the longest time, everything he said was true. Kerica wasn't fragile, wasn't someone that needed to be watched out for. It was a habit, a bad one, that he needed to break. Bucky was right, he would have to sit Kerica down today and let her know how to handle him better. "I gotcha, ya punk." He rolled his eyes goodnaturedly. "I'll talk to her when she comes out." He paused and then laughed all of the sudden. "You know...for some reason I wasn't expecting you to lecture me like you usually do about the dames." He admitted. "But at the same time, I never expected you to need relationship advice from a book either."

"Shhhh, I actually felt very confident in the topic of conversation and I haven't dated for just as long as you!" Bucky smacked his shoulder, "So let me be delusional and read some erotica. That's the part I'm struggling with right now. I don't /get/ laid just to get laid, man. That's not how I roll. It's been just me and my hand for forever and /God/ you have no idea, as a guy, how thankful I am it was my left hand I lost instead? Can you /imagine/ jerking off with metal fingers?!"

"It sounds awful really," Steve winced as he thought about actually jerking off with metal. That was painful as hell. "No it never was how you rolled even back then. Though I gotta admit, I'm still impressed you're going to a book." He was trying to hold back a laugh. "Wouldn't Jayden be better than books?" Oh shit. "I mean not to practice on or anything. I mean wouldn't he be better to get advice from?" There was another pause. "Why did you start calling him Jayden instead of J.J?" It was a random question that was tossed in, but curiosity was killing him.

Bucky's smile faltered hard, and almost broke completely, "I don't want him to come with me." He said matter-of-factly, "He's only been a part of society for two years so no, he wouldn't be good to get advice from. I'd have better luck asking you." He shook his head, "I'm calling him Jayden...because that's his civilian name. J.J. is the name of my companion. I'm trying to distance myself mentally from him, and you and Pietro are the only ones I'd be able to speak his name to. Pietro is out because he'd tell Jayden what I'm doing. I know you will not."

Steve actually paused. He gnawed on his lower lip as he thought about what Bucky was saying. He was going to leave his companion behind. They had been talking about it, about how Bucky and J.J were inseparable. Yet here was Bucky telling him that he wanted to break ties. He knew that he couldn't keep Bucky to stay here, in the facility, and maybe not even in the tower. "There's nothing I can do to convince you that you're wanted here?" He asked carefully, looking at Bucky. "To tell you that you're apart of this team? Just like I told Kerica, I'm telling you right now that I don't blame you for what happened. I blame the people who were behind the manipulation."

"You don't, Stevie...but the others do. I told Teresa this...but there's only three people that trust me and whom I trust in return. She wants to be fourth, but I need more time. Those three people are you, Natasha, and Kerica because she's your woman and she trusts me by default. She readily allowed me to comfort her tonight, which proves it." Buck took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I can't...I can't stay knowing everyone thinks I'm a spy in disguise and is waiting for me to betray them. I won't leave right away...there's something that's going to happen within the next few days that's going to make or break it, though. I don't know what, but my gut has been twisting in knots with the intuition. It got stronger once Slate became the Handler for the Avengers. So I think it's going to be mission-based."

"You had a bad feeling about the train and we did it anyway," Steve commented softly. "Now you got a bad feeling about an upcoming mission that we're going to get. Damn it." He rubbed the back of his neck and he kept himself from going crazy. He kind of hoped that the mission didn't break anything. That he'd stay. That he wouldn't go. He understood the need to have the freedom. He understood that this place was causing him to go crazy. "But Buck...you're not the only one going crazy in here. I will never see you as a spy, my team will not see you as a spy either, and I don't care if Slate's our new handler or not, he better be on his knees thanking you and God that you had the mind to be his brother's companion." He eyed Bucky. "You're not alone in this, don't make yourself out to be alone. You did seventy something years of it. You don't need more."

His chest ached. Something it didn't do very often. Reaching out, he patted Steve's head like he would when he was shorter. Something mentally told him it was weird for Steve to be tall and he smiled vaguely, "It's not Slate I'm worried about, but thanks. We'll see what happens, okay? I can't make promises and you know it."

"Because you're a punk." Steve retorted, but relaxed a little. "I will promise you that I won't tell J.J." He sighed and looked at the romance section for a bit and said out of randomness. "I can't help you with reading erotica, but I do have some magazines I keep hidden if you ever want to borrow them."

"Now we're talkin'...I'm still gunna find a few books. Kerica's sure to be at breakfast by the way. Natasha will probably drag her," He grinned and waved Steve away, "See ya later. I better hear good news next time we chat."

()

Steve wandered into the cafeteria, not exactly hungry as his mind buzzed from the conversation that he and Bucky had that morning. He couldn't believe half of the things that he heard come from his best friend's mouth, but that wasn't as important as fixing this. Natasha had already cornered him in the hallway and snapped at him, but it was a clipped sentence that made him dread going up against her. Apparently she was torn about whose ass to kick, his or Bucky's. He found Kerica sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, rubbing her wristband and not really eating. He swallowed as he carefully walked over to her. "Do you mind if I join you?" He was prepared to leave if she wanted that.

Kerica looked up at him and blinked, eyes dull and red, "Hey...um, sure, if you want to." She stopped rubbing the star and picked up her fork, picking at her eggs, "Sorry, by the way, for Nat. I'm sure she already gave you her two cents."

"I'm sorry too." Steve said softly as he watched her, his heart breaking. "For leaving you like that. I shouldn't have. I thought I hurt you and instead of taking care of you, I ran."

"I can't fault you because you warned me ahead of time you sat near the door just in case you needed to bolt," she said with a sigh, "At least tell me I how I did for my first time dealing with an episode, or whatever they call it?" Kerica looked up at him again, biting her lip, "I'm really at a loss here, and I don't like fumbling for purchase because I don't know if I grab something, if it'll crumble and I'm back at square one. I spent a little time trying to research before I passed out on Nat's pillow. Everyone's different...and while a soldier, you're not just /any/ soldier. You're Captain fucking America, and you've got ten times the weight on your shoulders."

"You did good." Steve smiled gently at her, hoping that she could see that he was confident in her. That he appreciated her. He hesitantly brought his hand across the table, but stopped in the middle, allowing her a choice. "Bucky told me that I was an idiot, in more ways than one too." He paused. "We had a conversation about a lot of things. But he did mention that I should give you an idea of what to do next time, that way you're not feeling the ground and wondering if you're doing something to trigger me further."

She saw the opportunity and snatched it, her hand sliding across the table and lacing her fingers with his. A shaky breath left her and her shoulders dropped immediately. She tried not to start crying again, swallowing the lump in her throat, "I'd be grateful if you did, Steve. I'll need to tell Buck thanks later."

He smiled warmly at her and gently squeezed her hand back. "I need to also see you more as a comrade and not as a civilian. You're just as much of an Avenger as Bucky and J.J. As much as Nat and me. I'm sorry for treating you like you're something less than that. You've always had a place on our team." He looked at her watching her. "It wasn't fair of me to abandon you when you needed me. A solider, of any kind, wouldn't do that to their comrade."

The distance of the table was too much, and she let go of his hand to duck underneath it, coming back up on his side and hugging him tightly, not caring if it was "okay" or not. Sniffing, she felt the tears fall in spite of her trying to even her breathing. "That's a bigger step...than I imagined, honestly," she admitted, "I'm glad...you're going to start seeing me that way." Nuzzling his chest, she couldn't really breathe in his scent with a stuffy nose, so she just enjoyed the warmth and solid wall of muscle beneath his soft shirt, "Tell me what I shouldn't do...and we can work on what I can."

Steve nodded as he held her close to him. He could feel the tears on his shirt and he knew that he had hurt her bad. "When I'm like that, go easy. Like what you did on the couch, but don't...don't put pressure. Let me come. Kinda like a cat that's being finicky. If you pretend not to want attention, it's going to want attention from you. Don't crowd me into a corner and let me stay by the door unless I think I can handle it. If I bolt, don't get discouraged. I probably left because the room no longer felt safe and I no longer could hear you or see you. The...the sounds from the war are sometimes a lot stronger than they need to be and there's no turning back from that. I'll come back when I'm calmer or when the storm's something I can handle. There are times where I can't be comforted by people, and have to be on my own for a bit."

"I have a ridiculous question and try not to laugh...but is it possible to interject visions into a flashback?" Kerica asked, face heating, "Like...if I mew, if you don't see me, will you see a cat? I don't know, stupid idea is stupid." She turned her face more so she couldn't be seen.

"I...honestly have no idea. That's something to ask Dr. Rivera." He paused. He was really trying hard not to laugh at that idea. It'd be interesting, but damn that was out there. "I wouldn't suggest using me as a study though. I'd probably be unreliable."

Kerica ended up with her shoulders shaking as she tried not to laugh at /herself/, "Okay. I just...I'm tired and the thought was random. At least I won't be running 24 hours with no sleep, just two ours of fitfulness." She shrugged and pulled away, looking up at him. God damn it, she was just so fucking short. Shifting she got onto her knees so she could be more eye-level. She leaned in to kiss his nose playfully, and when she saw an amused smile she kissed his forehead sweetly, "I do forgive you. That was a big roadblock in this whole relationship business, but look at us. We're doing alright, albeit with a little help from an unlikely source."

He smiled at the kiss and he kissed her lips in turn. "Not as unlikely as you may think." He said gently to her and brought her close to a hug. He was glad that he didn't fuck things up too badly and that he was able to repair the damage that was done. He would have to thank Bucky for snapping some sense into him.

Just not right now.
~*~

The next day, the rain had stopped. The thunder, the lightening...all that was left was a muggy heat and mosquitoes that liked to hang around and try their best to sneak in to the building. Steve had decided to call in another round of training. Bucky and Natasha already went at it yesterday and Steve was kind of impressed on how well they flowed together. It explained a lot since they were both assassins, they could easily trick each other. This time though, Nat was only here to watch and Steve was just monitoring. Kerica was going to be the one to start the spar and J.J was going to be her opponent.

"Ready?" Kerica asked J.J. as she got into position, grinning, "I'm glad to see you're doing better today."

J.J wished that she could say something back, but her voice wasn't working. She smiled in response and got herself into position, but...it felt a little wrong. She shifted because she realized that she was going down low. /Don't exploit. Don't break any arms. Don't do anything stupid./ She chanted in her head. Pietro told her that's what would make them look twice and she didn't want that. She could feel the energy thrum against her veins as she watched Kerica, waiting for her to start.

Kerica didn't say anything else, just jumped forward and tried to close the distance, throwing punches and kicks while trying to observe how J.J. moved to dodge, adapting so she could try and cut her off and land a blow.

"It's interesting," Nat said to Steve, "Watching  two tiny people who are very fast trying to get at each other's throats."

Steve watched as J.J blocked a blow and tried to land one of her own. They were quick, and it was intriguing to see them go at it. It was different than when they watched Kerica go up against someone taller than her. She was always quick with the surprises. "Who do you think's going to win? Your student or your student's student?"

"Funny how that works," Nat laughed a bit, "To be honest J.J. is an unpredictable force. It could go either way. Kerica's well trained, but her opponents are always bigger than she is. J.J is her exact same size. We also don't know what she was like before joining us. She had to get those scars somewhere."

Steve looked at Natasha, unsurprising since J.J did wear revealing clothes, but was also hinting that there was something more. "Ever wondered where she got them? Theories?" Steve asked lightly as he looked back at the ring. Kerica managed to nearly land a hit...and it was such a narrow dodge that Steve was really surprised that it didn't hit. Or maybe it did? J.J was stumbling back a little, but he wasn't at the right angle to justify why.

"Growing up into the fighting life is the only thing I can think of," Natasha murmured, "We all have lots of scars or memories from when we first started training."

J.J used the stumbling back as a method and for a breif moment she was taken back to a place. Bright lights, a person on the hunt, and she lets the fear thrum in her veins as she attacked back. Kerica was tiny so it made sense that she would use her legs, she was also a woman so their center of gravity was down and down low. However Kerica followed this move with an elbow-punch and J.J smirked as she ducked the blow to grab her wrist. She yanked her arm open, and squeezed, biting her nails down...down...down...she could feel Kerica's pain echoing in her brain. It was louder than the noise coming from the stands.

Both Steve and Natasha got off from the sidelines. Natasha was faster and got to Kerica's side, slamming her leg against J.J's stomach and having her fly backwards, hitting the mat. Steve wasn't concerned about her, but about Kerica and her wrist. It was bleeding severely and Kerica was hunched over. Steve turned to see where J.J and Nat were...but Nat was still in the gym and the door was closing shut. J.J had left....and left fast. "Dr. Rivera?" He asked, looking at Kerica. "Do we need to go to her?" It looked bad. It looked real bad.

Kerica could only nod mutely as tears streamed down her face and she gasped for breath, trying not to throw up. She crumbled further onto the mat before Steve could even grab her, curled into a fetal position.

Steve gently bent down on his knees and picked her up, being careful not to jostle her too much. He looked at Nat and said sharply, "Don't engage." Before he walked out of the gym, holding Kerica close to his chest and trying to soothe her the best that he could. The blood was staining his shirt and Kerica's and he was worried about how bad this could be. He hoped Nat obeyed his order not to go after J.J because if she did...there wasn't going to be a happy ending for this story in the least.

Kerica tried to keep her breathing even, though it was broken every so often by sobs. With Steve carrying her through the building, people saw them and she was sure the fact she was injured was going to spread like wildfire. She closed her eyes and woke up next when Steve shifted her so he could pull open the glass door to the infirmary. Had she passed out for a couple minutes? She heard Tessa's sharp breath and glanced up to see upset hazel eyes, the green popping with anger.

"What happened?" She asked as she directed Steve to put Kerica on the bed, her heels clicking sharply as she walked over to her desk to get her pair of gloves. "There wasn't a mission that you told me about, Steven." She warned.

"It wasn't a mission." Steve watched as Teresa took Kerica's arm gently despite the concern that was washing over her. She made Kerica hold the position while she walked back to her desk. "It was a spar."

"A...spar?" The doctor turned to face Steve, her lips forming into a frown as she found the scanner that she needed. Teresa's anger disappeared instantly into concern. No one /ever/ got this injured during a spar. A broken arm maybe if someone went too strong, but....not this brutal. "Oh fuck...." she gasped softly. "Steven, who was Keri's opponent?"

"Jay," Kerica croaked, finally finding her voice and answering her question for Steve. She sniffed and she reached for her boyfriend with her good hand.

Teresa had a /very/ bad feeling about this. She watched as Steve took her good hand and cradled it. "Okay...let's put some pressure and wrap this so you don't lose more blood. Thankfully she didn't hit anything major, but she probably nearly snapped your tendon, so your left wrist is weaker than it was before. You'll have to go easy on it."

"At least..." Kerica swallowed thickly, "...she can't really...break the bone. There /is/ a bar there. Kami...I'm a lucky duck, aren't I?"

Steve looked like he just swallowed a thousand of spikes and Teresa gave him a look before turning back to Kerica. "Very lucky. Too lucky." She told her sincerely as she started wrapping the wound, putting very careful pressure on it. "But don't test it by doing something stupid and ruining your wrist further."

"Right...oh...Tessa, you'll...have to call my dad. I know....your mom works...at the same hospital," Kerica didn't feel so dizzy with pain anymore. That was good. "At least...my pain tolerance kicks in.../after/ the fact. It aches now...but doesn't really /hurt/. No it's not just...the adrenaline. My arm never really...hurt after my surgery either."

"I will." Teresa nodded. "Do you want me to give you something for the pain?" Steve continued to rub Kerica's hand and started moving towards her shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly before trailing back down to her hand again. He was looking highly concerned, at the same time determined.

"Yeah...please," Kerica nodded and she squeezed Steve's hand. This was quite the start to the day, "I hope you don't mind I just...chill out here."

"No..." Steve shook his head. "There's something else I need to check on." He needed to find Bucky and let him know that J.J's somewhere freaking out. Or Pietro if he found him first. "I'll be back as soon as I'm able." He kissed her head before reluctantly moving away.

~*~

She didn't know how fast she ran or where she went. She was pretty certain she tripped over a few sets of stairs on the staircase, and that the floor tried to trip her as she struggled to find a room that wasn't occupied. It didn't take long to rip open a door and stumble right in, shutting the door and stumbling through the darkness. She knocked over buckets and brooms and cleaning supplies up until she found the back of the closet...she slid down and curled up into a ball.

She could hear the screaming still in her head and the blood on her fingers...she was so thankful that the room was dark so that she couldn't /see/ it but someone was going to notice it on the door. Her breathing was harsh and labored. Pietro told her not to exploit weaknesses. She hurt Kerica's left wrist. She hurt Kerica. S.H.I.E.L.D was going to demand her to be put down. She was going to be put down. She was too rabid, too dangerous. She let out a sharp cry and she started sobbing into her knees.

The yelling, the screaming, the blood, the lights. It flashed through her eyes like a memory going fast-forward. It was so loud and she didn't know how long she sat there staring at the blood on the ground, feeling it stick to her hand, feeling the person's life fade away into nothingness. She didn't know how long she was in there, sobbing helplessly, but she heard the door open and she still, her chest aching with sorrow and with shame. She was too scared to look up. Too scared to see a nameless, faceless agent stare down at her with cold eyes. To scared to see someone that she didn't know telling her that they needed to talk.

"Jaybird?" Pietro's soft voice asked and he flashed over to her, only to contract that speed by very slowly kneeling down, "Jayden, dragă..." the word slipped off his tongue before he stopped it, be he didn't really care at the moment, "It's Pietro. Asculta vocea mea. Listen to my voice."

Her breathing slowed just a tad. She didn't remember hearing that language before. It sounded beautiful, a little rough since it wasn't a Latin based langauge, but it was beauitful in it's own right. She nodded her head, but her voice didn't want to work. She let out a choked sob but she tried to keep it down so she could hear him better.

"Dragă...Ești în siguranță acum. Cușca nu poți ține." You are safe now. The cage cannot hold you. Pietro soothed, reaching out and cradling her face in his hands. "Te-am prins." I got you. Blankets...he didn't have blanket, but...he moved his hands and moved Jayden into his lap like she weighed only a feather, and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, nuzzling her neck.

She didn't understand a word he was saying, but she understood the comfort and the sincerity. She was too frozen to move too much, but after a while she started to get the idea that she could touch him, she was about to move her arms, to hold him back...but she couldn't, couldn't touch him. She remembered vaguely that he told her not to be afraid but..."I made her bleed." It was the first thing that came out of her mouth and it sounded more like a mouse's squeak.

"How de group reacts depends on Kerica's an' Steve's reactions," Pietro explained, "I will stay vith ya, however,  dragă." Unlike Wanda he didn't usually do v's instead of w's, but he'd just been speaking his native language and his voice was deeper because of it, and he was whispering. He slid his arms down Jayden's arms and laced his fingers in hers. He felt the gooey blood that belonged to Kerica, but he didn't cringe or comment.

She nodded her head, swallowing thickly as she laced her fingers with his. She wanted to relax. She wanted to feel his heartbeat, but her body was too tensed up for it. His energy that she was feeling was soft. It didn't burn like most touches would after a kill. No, no not a kill. She didn't kill anyone. She knew that much. She just really, really injured Kerica. She didn't know what to do. She was safer in here, but at the same time she wasn't. She leaned into Pietro's hold, giving him a little more weight against his chest and lap. She buried her head against his neck, breathing in his scent. Her voice quit working again. Too many things raced through her mind. It was Steve's mate that she hurt, she didn't know what to do, she fucked things up, Bucky was going to be super upset with her for hurting Kerica, S.H.I.E.L.D was going to ask her questions, it was a spiraling circle of worry and anxiety. "I didn't mean to hurt her. I didn't want to hurt her. But I was scared. I got scared. I didn't mean to. I swear."

"Shhhh..." Pietro started softly rocking her and kissing her forehead, "I believe ya. Respira. Breathe. Everything vill vork out in de end. May I carry ya?"

J.J nodded and felt herself being lifted into a bridal carry. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shoulder so that she didn't have to look. Sure they were probably going to go fast, but it was just extra precaution.

Before long, they were in Pietro's apartment room. "If anyone vants to talk to ya, they have ta go through me," he stroked her cheek. Then he flitted and after double checking the door, he got a washcloth to clean off her hands. Finished with that task, he gathered his dolphin blanket off of the couch and draped it around her shoulders like he'd been moment ago, "How's that, dragă?"

She used her clean hand to hold the blanket and she smiled at him. "I'm fine now." She nodded and she took another breath in. She was safe here. She was safe here, and he wasn't going to let anyone hurt her. She brought the blanket closer, nearly snuggling into it and took another breath. "Can you...hold me again? Your touch doesn't hurt like everyone else's and it felt...it felt nice." Being close to him, being against him. Her cheeks flushed.

"Sure, of course," Pietro gave her a tender smile and he climbed onto the bed, drawing her close to him like they'd been in the closet, but this time he could see her, "Vhatever ya vant of me...I'll do vhat I can ta oblige," he whispered into her ear.

She giggled and hid her face against his neck. She thought back to what Bucky had said, about what her leaving would do to him. She carefully untangled her hand from the blanket so that she could trace his arm and his neck with her fingers, feeling how real he was. All or nothing. He felt the blood on her hands and instead of worrying about the person injured, he worried about her. She could feel it hum through his veins, that he wanted to do whatever he could to make her happy. To let her be comfortable. He gave things to her straight. "Whatever I did to Kerica....I hope Steve takes it out on me and not Bucky." She admitted after a moment. "....What does home mean to you, Sunshine?"

"Home..." Pietro made a deep sigh in his throat, "Home is where I'm happy. That could be with my sister...or lately with my friends. Here...this place is home because everyone I care about is here and that makes me happy."

J.J closed her eyes. She could understand that. She could understand why home had to be happy. If it wasn't happy, then it was a very sad and scary place to be. It was a childish way of thinking of things, but it worked. She thought about Slate and Bucky...she thought of the way Pietro held her in his arms, holding her close. She loved the feel of his arms around her, protective...right. She kissed his cheek and rested her head against his shoulder again. It was a nice thing to think about, what home was like.

~*~

It took Steve a while to find out where Bucky was. He wasn't in the gym, obviously, but he wasn't his room either. He walked around a bit before settling on seeing if he was in the lounge area. He should start figuring that if there was a room that was empty, Bucky was probably in it. He was starting to see the way the Agents were shifty eyed. They were tossing looks over at him sometimes, probably wondering why Captain America hung around a traitor and assassin. He didn't care about any of that as he walked through the lounge. "You found a romance novel to have kicks with?"

"As a matter o' fact, I did," Bucky chuckled. He didn't look up right away, instead finishing a page before bookmarking it. Looking up, he was immediately on his feet, eyes wide, book abandoned on the seat, "What the hell?! Where did you get all that blood?!"

Steve couldn't blame Bucky for being worried. He didn't see the mess that Kerica made on his shirt, so he didn't know how badly she bled all over him. "Actually..." Steve eyed Bucky wearily and nodded his head towards where he had just been sitting. "You might want to sit down for this, Buck."

"Tell me, mate, before I start huntin'," Bucky's voice slipped into a rough British accent, but he didn't even blink or apologize for the slip. He /had/ been pretty much all over the world....and the book he found was set in London, but that was irrelevant, "We beat the livin' shit outa each other on a flyin' ship. Speak."

"J.J injured Kerica." Steve said slowly, watching Bucky for any sign. Was he really going to go hunting after his own companion? "She grabbed Kerica's left wrist and she dug her nails as deep as she possibly could. According to Dr. Rivera...the tendon could've snapped."

Bucky froze, eyes wide, but he otherwise made no movement. He didn't even pale. After a moment e gnashed his teeth a bit and let out a quiet growl, "I know you know what she is now. Did you come here to confirm it?"

"I didn't know if you knew." Steve relaxed a little. "I got worried that you didn't know what she was capable of." He pursed his lips together. "The scars, the way that she talks about herself sometimes. What really got me interested was when she asked me if I got laid with Kerica...and then you saying the same thing about Teresa. You both used the word "mate" and I know that's a J.J phrase not a you phrase."

"A few words of her rubbed off on me, yeah. I used it last night when referring to Kerica's relation to you, too," Bucky rubbed his neck. Looking around to make sure they were still alone, he kept going, "She never gave me specifics so I can't tell you. All she ever mentioned was dog fighting and I figured out the rest. I imagine that does things to a person. She does have the mentality of a dog, too. A wolf, maybe, if I'm honest, since they quite a lot more intelligent and vicious than your average mutt."

"What do you mean by the mentality of the dog?" Steve asked carefully, quietly. His mind wandered to the fighting, but Bucky was talking about more than that. He was certain. "What do I got to look out for, or what do I have to be aware of? I don't want her hurting others."

"Exploiting weaknesses is a Hydra thing, too, if you weren't aware. Had none of this happened and I still worked for them, and ran across Kerica, as soon as I saw her scar I'd snap her arm like a twig," Bucky snapped defensively, and he saw Steve's blue eyes widen like saucers with horror, turning light green at the mental image, "Don't you /dare/ fault Jayden for anything. She was a /civilian/ thrown into a situation where she had to fight for her life. I know her. I've seen her fight myself. We got into a bad situation and I was down but she tore apart our enemies in such a brutal manner, Stevie. Those lovely, vivid green eyes? Wild and erratic."

"I don't fault her, Buck." Steve breathed after a moment of gathering his wits. God, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was a Hydra thing to do and he was thankful that Bucky wasn't working for them anymore. "Fuck...you know I don't blame her." But to hear that she had torn apart people, that she was brutal...it was so hard to imagine but at the same time he saw a glimpse of it in the training room. It was so hard and so easy to see them as the same person it was scary.

"Unless she's on the battlefield or kitchen don't ever give her a sharp object, especially a knife," Bucky added before he reached down, grabbed the book, and flopped back into the chair, his hand running over his face, "Okay....as for dog for wolf mentality, you know how they run in packs and have that whole authority rung? She's compared me to a lone wolf before and she's not too far off. Though...she's most definitely a pack animal. She needs an Alpha to order her around as well as protect and look out for her since she's an Omega. In the situation we're in now, that side of her brain that's still primal is realizing /you/ are the Alpha. The human side of her is seeing you as a friend and Leader. They're kind of the same thing, but they are different at the same time."

Steve had to take a moment to pause. It was like Bucky just decided to go and speak in a different language even though he was being clear. He'd keep a mental note about a knife. It was probably a good thing that Bucky kept the knives and most likely gave them to her as time was needed, but would hold them back otherwise. "Okay.." he said slowly. "Pack animal makes sense." She stuck with Bucky and the way she acted around the rest of the Avengers well...Steve only spoke to her once and she pretty much laid out the honest truth in front of him without so much of a prompt. "If she sees me as an Alpha, does she see you as one too?"

"Hmm....before J.J. I didn't have a role. I don't /want/ a role, anyhow. To Jayden I'm just a protector," Bucky shrugged, "She messed up my groove, honestly, but I've enjoyed having her as a companion. You know I should just print out a document on wolf ranks for you to memorize. Before you know it you'll be all... "Slate would probably be a Lead Warrior" or something."

"I don't know if J.J would appreciate me making fun." Steve said honestly as he sat down on the chair next to Bucky. This was all so much to take in, but he had to. "Okay so we established she's a pack animal and that I'm an alpha..." he trailed off. "What do I do about sparring? I mean, I know that was a mishap, but something caused it right? How do I get her to back down? Nat...um....kind of had to kick her to get her off of Kerica."

"You've been teaching her martial arts, yeah? That's precision striking. Predictable. Jayden is an erratic fighter. Boxing or something to tire her out," Buck suggested, "I'll find something to help you out with whole wolf thing and get back to you. Right now I'm pretty sure she's been freaking out. She's deathly afraid of being put down like she's a rabid animal, so please...assure her nothing's going to happen."

All at once the breath wished right through Steve's chest. "Oh /fuck/." He got up quickly. He had a feeling he knew where she'd be hiding, he just hoped that Pietro would listen to reason about why he was coming in and trying to assure her. Then he'd have to talk to Teresa and Kerica...and let them know. He paused in the doorway and he looked at Bucky. "I owe you." and he left.

~*~

Jumping at the sound of the door, Pietro looked up at J.J. They had been laying with him draped over her legs, fingers tracing and lips kissing scars on her stomach while she read a book. Shifting up to a sitting position he heard the knock again and bit his lip, "I'll go see who it is." Standing, he walked slowly to the door, not wanting his time with her to end. Steeling himself, he glanced through the peep-hole and saw an anxious but determined Captain. Unlocking the door, he opened it, "Hello, Cap'n."

"Please tell me J.J's here." Steve pursed his lips together as he watched Pietro. "It's just to talk." He assured, hoping that it'd be enough. "I'm not here for anything else."

Pietro swallowed thickly, but he nodded to his commanding officer, trusting him. Steve would never hurt his dragă, and he had to believe that. Funny, after saying it aloud once that's all he wanted to call her besides his Jaybird. It felt more...personal, especially now that Slate was in the picture and also called her Jaybird. Stepping back, he allowed Steve through the door.

Steve walked inside and took a breath as Pietro lead him towards the bedroom. J.J was curled with a book, the blanket around her shoulders was open instead of held shut and her cheeks looked like they were just about done drying from the tears. Her eyes were /definitely/ still red-rimmed. She looked at Steve and he could see that she was mentally preparing herself as she closed the book. "Pietro could...could you give us a minute?" He didn't know if Quick knew about J.J...but he wasn't going to be the one to destroy what little happiness she had found during her time here.

"Dragă?" Pietro looked at Jayden instead. He'd let Steve in here, but if Jayden didn't want him to leave then he would stay, insubordination be damned.

"I..." J.J looked at Steve and she could see his anxiety. How it rode off of him. He was afraid, but....it wasn't an urgent fear. It wasn't a fear of her or anything. It was...a fear of himself. If she touched him, she probably could understand a little more as to what was going on, but right now...all she knew was that this was important. She took a shuddering breath in and then let it out slowly. "I'll be okay, Hummingbird." She said quietly. "He's not going to hurt me."

Pietro didn't say anything, just flitted over and gave her a tender kiss on her cheek and a pet of her hair before he flitted out of the room, forcing himself to leave before he stayed out of the sheer need to be near her.

Steve sat down on the bed, keeping a safe distance in case she didn't want him anywhere near her. J.J had set down the book at the table, but she didn't close up and snuggle into the blanket like he thought she would. Her eyes were level with his, she wasn't looking away. He kept her gaze for a moment and said, "We're not going to put you down." He hated those words. "We...we don't kill people for that kind of thing."

"You'd have a lot less enemies if you did." J.J pointed out.

"A lot less allies too." Steve couldn't help but to think about Bucky. S.H.I.E.L.D most definitely wanted him off of the grid. America wanted him dead for all of the things that he had done while brainwashed. People didn't see that reasoning. "May I call you Jayden? Just for now?"

"I gave you the name." J.J shrugged, shifting a little on the bed. "You can do whatever you please with it. I can't control you."

"But apparently I can?" Steve raised an eyebrow. "I mean..."

"Oh gods, Bucky told you."

"Well...he confirmed it."

She arched an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"The way you spoke and the way you act...it's not...typical." Steve admitted to her. "Then Bucky told me that you spent two years within society and he used the same phrase you did when describing Kerica." He paused, watching her for a moment to see if he was making her uncomfortable. She didn't seem all that surprised that he figured this out, or that Bucky had let so much slip...not that he thought it was a secret.

She nodded a few times, as if she was deciding on something and was coming to a resolve. "I haven't told anyone about the Cage." She could tell that it caught his attention fast and she smiled wanly.

He mentally prepared himself for this, because he doubted that anything she said from here on was going to be good.

"We call it the Cage because of the chain-link fencing that surrounds the fighting arena. It's tall enough to reach the ceiling, blocking off all sense of hope. In some games, the host allows weapons. Not guns, that's too easy. But everything else you can think of, sure. There are some games where brutality is the way to win, not the killing. In other games, yeah...death is your loser challenge so to speak." She tugged on the blanket, but she didn't close it up and snuggle inside of it. "In the games where you have to knock the person out or put them as near death as possible, the loser has to go up against animals that have been starved and trained to know that a scent of blood means a good meal. Sometimes you can escape...other times you can't."

"They kidnapped people for this?" Steve demanded.

"Oh no." J.J laughed. "No, that's why there's pups. If you're kidnapped and tossed into the Cage...you're a chew toy. You're the training wheel. It's very rare for an amateur to win against someone whose been raised in the Cage. Usually a pup doesn't start fighting in the Cage until their about..fourteen? Fifteen? All the amateurs are around that age too." She brought the blanket a little closer. "Some like to make it into a grand spectral. A type of game. Others it's a private fight. Sometimes if the amateur has a sister or family..." She shrugged. "They pit them against each other in order to see who'd die in front of the pup. Breaks moral...and sometimes makes it easier for the pup to chew."

Oh god. Steve stared at her in utter shock. His tongue feeling heavy. He could taste the bile from the back of his throat, but he swallowed as hard as he could, pushing down on it. "But you didn't."

"I was a rarity." She agreed. "I became a half-breed instead."

"And Bucky doesn't have a clue."

"No, I told him that I was a dog-fighter and he clicked everything else. I'm surprised people know what that means. I knew that Hydra treated him like a machine so I didn't see any difference in the way that we were. Equals in some right. When I told him I wanted to fight with him, his only condition was to not get in his way and to keep up because he'll leave me behind." She shrugged. "Where else did I have to go? I left my home of heart. But I found my home of soul, so I think that's worth the trade off."

"Does..." Steve was afraid to ask this question.

"No. Pietro doesn't know. I'd like to keep this between just you and me. You can tell Kerica if you want to. She deserves to know that it wasn't a human that broke her arm." J.J swallowed. "Is she..."

"She'll be fine. She's probably on pain medication, but Teresa..."

"Oh..." She cowered in. "So I hurt your mate and I hurt Bucky's."

"Teresa's more confused at the fact that this was a sparring accident than it was a mission." Steve told her honestly. "I think she'll want an explaination, but she's not going to get an adequate one from Buck."

"Do you think I should tell Bucky this then?" J.J watched him.

"I think you should tell people you trust." Steve said honestly. "Pietro's a good start. He cares deeply about you. I know that had you wanted him to stay, he would've stayed and fought against my orders to leave if I tried to make him." He watched her. "I think that people took away many choices that should've been yours. You're used to Bucky giving you a choice, but...we'll always give you one." He smiled a little. "So here's something I think you might like?"

"Hm?"

"I'm going to have Quicksilver stop monitoring you." He said slowly. "He'll still be around, he's still going to look out for you because that's Pietro, but he won't have to do it anymore. He won't have to keep tabs on you. You'll have just a tiny bit of freedom. But you have to promise me something. If you want to leave into the city, take one of us with you, or let one of us know what route you plan on taking. You've been locked up here for a week. That'll drive any animal crazy."

"Ha! So you do think I'm an animal." J.J grinned. "Okay...I can agree to that. What about Bucky?"

"Can't do too much because of Fury. But..." He smiled. "I have a plan anyway." He stood up. "If I come across Pietro, I'll let him know that it's safe to come back. Thanks...Jayden."

"Any time, Solider." She gave a mock salute. "If you go see Kerica, let her know that I'll swing by later when I think Teresa's not there."

He laughed and walked out of the bedroom.