Forgotten Memories and Golden Repair

Steve handed Angelina a chocolate chip mint ice cream cone and sat down next to her on the bench just outside of the ice cream parlor. There wasn’t a lot of hustle and bustle of people coming up and down the road. But the random passerby they did see had more of a soothing effect. Angelina happily tucked into her ice cream and Steve took his own, a plain chocolate with chocolate drizzle. He was on a chocolate kick.

“So I think I found a place where I can help you practice riding the motorcycle in private.” Steve said after a moment of silence. “It’s a little out of the way, but Tony promised that it was pretty discrete and that’s where he learned how to drive so…”

“Really?!” Angelina perked up. “Dad is still looking for a motorcycle husk.” She told him. “He thinks he might’ve found a place to rebuild it too.”

“Huh.” Steve took a lick of his ice cream. “How about that.” He was kind of thankful that he decided against wearing the bugged jacket. He loved Bucky, and him listening in and knowing what was going on was good. At the same time, Steve knew that Angelina needed him for some reason or another.

She just didn’t do random invites without something.

Angelina took another bite of ice cream and let out a sharp squeal, making Steve laugh. “Brain freeze?” He teased.

“Yes!” Angelina whimpered. “Ow.”

“Better slow down next time kid.” Steve grinned. “Otherwise you’ll freeze your brain and your dad’s gonna demand I fix it.”

“How can he demand if he doesn’t see you?” Angelina asked sarcastically before freezing. Steve also gave her a bit of a look and she looked away. “Sorry.”

“You have a fair point.” Steve murmured. “Did…something happen, Angel?”

“…” Angelina took a soft, slow lick of her ice cream and brought it away from her face. “Did…he ever talk about me?”

“Sometimes.” Steve conceded. “Usually about how you’re feeling. Like when you were jealous and you didn’t know how to deal with it, or what to do.”

“…But not about…the captive times?” She twirled the cone in her hand slowly, not wanting the ice cream to drop. She brought it back to her mouth and took another lick while she waited for Steve to reply.

“No. Bucky and i don’t talk about things like that.” He admitted softly. “I won’t force him to bring it up. Why do you ask?”

Angelina took the ice cream away from her mouth again and twirled it in her hand once more. “I told Dylan about some of things that happened back then. I skimmed and skipped over important things. He’s a civilian. He doesn’t need to know a lot. But he saw me in a bad state last night.”

“How bad?” Steve asked.

“Enough.” Angelina answered. She looked at the ice cream. “I had a nightmare. Of the Cage.” Steve bit his lip, holding back his questions that were loud in his head. “I called it the cage because that’s what it look like. It’s a small training cell. It’s used to condition, to train. That is where dad trained the soldiers, and some of the Widows from a long time ago.” She took another lick of the ice cream. “But it’s where I killed people. Sometimes they would force me to fight to kill. Sometimes though, I could decide if I wanted to drag it out, or make it fast. They always would make into a game. They didn’t like calling me Companion. Even if that was what dad called me on the field.”

“Your dad gave you the name Companion?”

“He didn’t like “Bloody Angel” all that much.” Angelina admitted. “He didn’t like Bloody Mary either.”

“Where did you get “Mary” from?” He couldn’t help but to ask.

“It’s a secret I can’t tell you.” She replied as she took another lick of her ice cream, chomping down and swallowing. “But in the Cage I had to fight a little kid once. I say “fight”, but in reality I tried to protect him. I tired very hard. But when they got me away from him…”

“They made you watch as they killed him.” Steve finished softly, taking another slow lick of his ice cream. His stomach curled. “I see.”

“Dylan said that is where I learned what “mercy” was. Because after that, I relied on reading their minds.” She paused. “But the dream changed to you and River and dad.”

“Did you dream of killing us?” Steve asked gently.

“Dad was alive long enough to tell me that he didn’t think I was his daughter. That I was raised wrong. He shot me in the head. I don’t know if he survived that or not. I really hope not. He wouldn’t be the same losing you. Losing River.” She answered, “But….after that…Dylan saw me really messed up.”

“Voices?” He frowned.

“Dad’s voice too. Telling me to go die.”

Steve took a sharp breath in and let it out slow. They fell silent after that, eating the ice cream. Angelina was at the point where she was starting to chew on the cone. Steve liked to push his a little bit further down before he started working on the cone. “You know your dad would never, ever tell you to die right?” He finally broke the silence.

She didn’t answer. She slowed in her chewing, showing that she was listening, but she didn’t move away from the cone to speak. Steve took another breath in. “I wouldn’t blame you if you killed us.” Angelina’s eyes darted at him. “We were in the Cage right?” She nodded. “Chances were, you didn’t have a choice. You had to chose. Our lives and someone else’s. Or maybe it was your life you had to chose and we would never fault you for it. Most definitely, I wouldn’t.”

“But you died.”

“I did.” Steve agreed softly. “And so did River. And maybe even Bucky. But I died knowing that you were trying to save someone in the process.” He brought his hand up and gently placed it on her head and used his fingers to comb through her hair. She stiffened, and melted as he repeated the process. “Never think I’m gonna doubt you, Angel. No matter the path you take, I know you’re trying to figure out life. I also hope that you and I never meet on the battlefield, but if we should…know that I’ll fight you with whatever I got…in order to bring you home again.”

Angelina nodded solemnly. “I don’t want to tell dad.” She admitted. “About the Cage. About my time in captivity.”

“He doesn’t know?” Steve asked.

She shook her head mutely.

Steve sighed. “He’s gonna find out, sooner or later.”

“Maybe.”

Steve finished off his ice cream and they stood up. He tugged her against his side, and placed her hand on her shoulder. “You don’t have to tell him anything you don’t want to tell him.” He said after a moment. “Just so long as you talk to someone about it.”

“Like you?” Angelina looked up at him.

“Yeah kid. Like me. So long as I’m not on missions.” Steve murmured. “Come on. Let’s go.”

()

The day was cloudy, but there wasn't a chance of rain until later in the night. It was that time of year where rain could turn to snow at any given second, or be freezing rain if it got cold enough. He was expecting ice in the morning at least. Jake huddled his jacket closer, his beanie keeping his ears warm. He stared at the sign for the cafe and contemplated. There hadn't really been a destination in mind, he just didn't want to go back home yet. This...he hadn't been here in ages. He was very picky on his coffee.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open and looked around, before he slowly started to walk towards a table. Until a familiar voice called his name and he froze, looking over his shoulder timidly, "Zan?"

"I thought I recognized you." Zan commented as she walked over to him, tray firm on her hip. "You still hang out at Future Diary I noticed." She frowned deeply. "Come sit in my section, Jake."

"W-Why?" Jake asked, swallowing thickly, shifting nervously. Images in his head flashed by quickly from what he saw before he came over, and he was glad his fists were still in his pockets as he clenched them. He hoped she didn't notice how his eyes flashed and he shook his head, "Isn't your morning section getting a bit overwhelming? I see Falcon and Cap over there, and you got James..."

Zan gave Jake a look. "One I'm next in rotation. Two. You were requested by James." She stuck her thumb over towards where James was sitting, away from Steve and hidden, but Steve was the type to be oblivious about his surroundings. She softened. "You look like hell Jake. I keep telling you Zakhar doesn't really give a damn about people and their issues, but you keep telling me that he has a bright side."

"He saved me, Zanna," Jake grumbled, "I don't doubt how I look, and it won't surprise you if I'm not in the mood to fight. I'll sit in your section, but drop it. Maybe another day, but not now."

"Come on then." Zan sighed as she guided him to James' table and dragged a chair out for him to sit. "Take care of him for me." She murmured under her breath to James, patting his shoulder twice as she walked away. She knew how Jake took his coffee. She remembered his order easily as she could remember Sam and Draco's.

"What the fuck did Zakhar have you do?" Jake cursed as he stared at Jake. He didn't have circles under his eyes or anything of that sort, but he did look like he'd seen better days at the same time. He was pale, not nearly the same as the healthy summer tan he had held onto.

"I'm sure, as the Asset, you had many times where you had to walk by," Jake said instead, voice low. James didn't say anything, just softened his eyes and straightened his back, "More times than you can possibly remember, too. See, that's part of my job working for Riah," he ran his hand over his face, "I'm his messenger. I'm protected, but only to an extent. I go to the Underground to retrieve packages, give packages, or to and from with money. I'm trusted. Yet, if I were to stray from the specific road and paths, put one /toe/ out of line, I can get beaten up, or a bullet put in my head."

"So why the hell do you /do/ it?" James asked.

"I am indebted. I also volunteered. For a long time, I did what I was told when I was told. The loyal follower, but after I saw my first murder and wasn't able to do anything, I started to wonder," Jake explained, "I started carrying my knife. I learned how to use it. I can hit the bulls-eye on a knife board. I know how to throw it just right so if I needed to I could hit someone in the head with the blade. Yet, I don't feel safe. Ever since the battle of New York with the aliens shit got even worse."

James folded his arms, "What did you see today?"

"A rape." Jake told him, voice raw as much as he tried to stay level. "The woman was blond, so when I saw Zan...my brain switched them places. I'd only gotten a fast glimpse, anyway."

"Do you /tell/ Zakhar about any of this?" James frowned deeply.

"I do...he doesn't let rapes go by unpunished, but the murderers...it depends on who was murdered and why," Jake shrugged.

The two of them were very quiet for a few minutes. It was...not something you heard every day. "You're right," James sighed, "I do understand what that's like. The mission is more important than straying and getting punished for it. You idolize me, right? Trust me when I say that's something you shouldn't have to suffer through."

Jake looked even more miserable, "Then what am I supposed to do?"

"Tell Zakhar to find someone else to do his dirty work," James told him bluntly, "You two have a respect for each other. Focus on the mechanic shop instead. If he won't let you go, then go to the Tower and ask for Steve. He's Captain America, sure, but he was a back alley punk and he hates bullies. He'll do something."

Zan walked back to the table and set down the cup of coffee and nodded her agreement. "I overheard that last bit. You really should tell Zakhar that you just want to be a mechanic or do something that keeps you away from those places. He's a resourceful guy. He can grab someone to use within a month or two."

"I haven't been in here in over that long. How did you remember my coffee order?" Jake looked up at her after taking a tentative sip, the nutty flavor washing over his tongue with just enough sugar and milk.

Zan grinned. "Because you're so damn picky about your coffee. I'm gonna remember things like that." She turned to James. "Good job, Jamie." She gave him a thumbs up. "Sam would approve."

"Thank you, /Suzie/," James countered and successfully blocked a hit with the tray, "Is Steve done with his journal reply yet?"

"He's not certain if you want him to give it to me when you're busy." Zan replied. "I gave him a heads up that you were trying to guide a fallen one to the light."

"Yeah, it's fine. That conversation's over with, so it's not an inconvenience," James promised, "By the way, tell Steve I'm paying for his coffee today. Next week is Thanksgiving, isn't it?" he asked.

"It is." Zan smiled brightly. "I was just about to ask you what you were doing for it. Do you have plans?"

James nodded and took a deep breath, "I'm going to sit with him that day, since I know he'll be here."

"I was talking dinner plans but..." Zan grinned brightly, fist pumping. "Good for you. Finally making contact. Now I don't have to be the messenger anymore. Whoo!"

"Haha, just be quiet about it," he winked, "No, no dinner plans besides. Did you want me and Angelina to join you and Dylan?"

Zan nodded. "We also invite River, Vince, and Calla too since they don't have family. Well...Vince can't remember his anyway. So we try to make it special for him."

"Then...on that day, I will make a personal invitation to Steve. Let's have it at my apartment, our dining table only has four seats but it could fit all of us, just bring the ones from yours and I'll buy a couple more before then," Bucky nodded firmly.

"Vince is going to be so happy he's gonna die!" Zan sang as she walked off.

~*~

Steve was pretty sure the week couldn’t get more eventful. He took another painting class with Calla and a promise for another date. Without coffee since they wanted something with more substance. River was on cloud nine from all the time she spent with Bucky and that they were texting. It made Steve’s heart swell to know that Bucky was doing alright.

He also started teaching Angelina how to drive his motorcycle. It was slow going at first, but she was getting the hang of it. Soon he wouldn’t have to be sitting behind her and he could see how she did when she was by herself. Maybe even get her a learner’s permit or a driver’s license.

Now though, a week later, Steve didn’t know what to think. He was sitting in Zan’s section, but he felt like his nerves were on live wires. She gave him tea, a vanilla spice chai with some cream. It was good for his nerves and, surprisingly enough, the scent was relaxing on it’s own. Zan currently was talking about how Angelina and Dylan discovered the wonders of some store called ‘Teavanna” and now were hooked. Dylan still preferred coffee, but Angelina was finding a different preference.

“I’m thinking about getting her a tea set for Christmas.” Zan said as she came back. “Still not here yet?”

“No. But he won’t leave me hanging for long.” Steve smiled timidly. “A tea set huh? Any idea of what kind?”
“I heard cast iron is super good for tea, but I don’t know if I should do that or something decorative. Dylan’s jealous cuz I picked the tea set, but he’s determined to find a good gift for her. Knowing him, it’s probably going to be fandom merchandise, or something more personal.” Zan shrugged. “He wants to her ask her to be his girl.”

“Really?” Steve’s eyebrows went up. “That’s fantastic.”

“It really is.” Zan smiled brightly. “She’s so happy with him and he’s happy with her and they’re just…ugh Steve…” She placed her tray to her heart. “It’s just fucking adorable. You should ask James.”

“When I get his noteboo-“ Zan moved aside and James was standing behind her and Steve felt his breath catch. He was standing right there. “James?”

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out so he closed it again, shrugged, and sat down. Sam wasn't going to be here because of his own family event, and he had no other obligations with Angelina helping Dylan prepare the Thanksgiving feast. "Thank you, Zan," he said first, "We'll be good for a while." Well, at least he can talk to other people. Figuring he couldn't get his throat unstuck to talk to Steve directly, at least at this very moment, he already had his notebook ready to a fresh page and placed it and the pen down, giving the still stunned blond a shy, timid smile. He wasn't wearing his hoodie or his hat, just his jacket over a bright green shirt and his hair was half-pulled back.

"You look good." Steve said breathlessly. "Jesus, those pictures never did you justice. You look a lot happier too." He smiled, like he just won the lottery or something equally amazing and unheard of. "It's...really good to see you Bu-James." He corrected himself quickly, not wanting to ruin this. "So good to see you. How...how have you been?"

Taking his pen, he did a quick jot, /Been good. By the way, yes, Angelina and Dylan are definitely adorable. He's there for her when I cannot be and I appreciate that./ He paused, watching Steve, his stomach doing flip-flops. That was so very close to, if not exactly the Sunrise Smile from the museum short clip of him and Steve together during the war. Looking back down at the paper, he added, /I am sorry. For taking so long./

"You needed to do this on your own time. I still wonder if we're pushing it." Steve admitted as he looked up at Bucky from the note. "I should ask her stuff like that. I never really asked her about her and Dylan. I don't know much. But do you know about the recent candle obsession that she's been having? She bought me a lot of limited autumn editions and I'm not certain if she thinks my apartment needs to be aired out, if you said something about me liking candles back in the day, or what."

/She bought everyone several candles, actually. I think she bought you so many because she /didn't/ know what you liked./ James' face was highly amused, /I did tell her I liked the woodsy ones before, but I liked an apple cinnamon one recently and she got me three. There might have also been a sale. Who knows./ He pushed it over and watched him. Ugh! He /really/ wanted to talk. Kept swallowing and working his mouth like he was going to, but the only thing he knew would come out his mouth was running around in his mind, bringing back memories of the helicarrier and Steve's /voice/ and he closed his eyes, regulating his breathing before Steve noticed while he read his response. Not yet. He'd only just sat down.

"Mom used to bake apple pie before the war and the Depression set it." Steve murmured. "Fresh cinnamon and apples, but it was never too overly sweet." He looked at Bucky with a small smile. "There must have been. She bought Natasha two and Clint three. Tony got two as well." Steve snorted. "Even though they never met, Tony was a little surprised by it."

So that was why he liked it so much. It had indeed reminded him of an apple pie without the sweetness. A memory without the memory, how odd, but pleasant. He smiled at Steve tenderly, watching how he melted at the expression, before he wrote; /She's been trying very hard to please people lately. I didn't ask her why, but I'm sure she had a nightmare, and I tried to cheer her up. It's not like I can't recognize the face she was making, considering I see it in the mirror every so often./

Steve's eyebrows furrowed. Oh so that's why the candles. He sighed softly. "She hasn't told you about it?" He asked after a moment.

James shook his head instead of jotting anything down.

Steve didn't know. Did he tell Bucky about the nightmare or did he stay silent. "She told me." He said after a moment. "It wasn't a good dream Buck. It was pretty bad."

/I had a feeling that was why she asked to meet you.../ James frowned, /As long as you helped her, that's okay. I don't want to force her to tell me anything. I called her out on the jealousy, but that was it./

"Good call on the jealousy. I don't think anyone of us knew how to help her with it." Steve agreed. "She was very confused and I get the feeling that if it went unsaid she'd be hurting a lot worse than she is."

James nodded his agreement, and their conversation became silent. Heart hammering in his chest, he turned the page of the paper, and on the thicker white space at the top, wrote - /SPEAK FRIEND, AND ENTER/ in his cursive scrawl.

"Mellon." Steve replied, his voice caught. "But Zan told me that Angelina...it was you?"

James nodded, and stood up, throwing down the money for Steve's drink and scooped up his belongings, motioning to the door. They couldn't do this here. It was straining, but he smiled and waved at Zan, before turning on his heel and leaving, fully expecting Steve to follow. They were going to go cry big manly tears in private.

Steve followed without question, staying back but in sight so that if Bucky ever turned to look over his shoulder, he wouldn't have to look far. He took a breath of the crisp autumn air. It rolled down to his lungs, making them feel cold and when he breathed out, he could see a white puff, like smoke. They continued to walk, Steve following in easy steps until James came to a halt.

Turning them down an alleyway, he felt like this was perfect. No prying eyes, and if anyone looked down it, they were behind a big tall dumpster. Turning to face Steve, he let his question spill from his lips finally, after it had been screaming in his head ever since that day. "Why does your Bucky make you sad?"

"I'm sorry?" Steve blinked a little in confusion. That was...not the first thing he expected to hear.

"Every time you say /Bucky/ it's with such a sad tone in your voice. The helicarrier. Pleading, pain. You didn't want to fight me. You dropped your shield after you've been making everything so /god damn difficult/ for me ever since I couldn't pull the trigger looking through my sniper scope looking and listening in on you and Fury. /I couldn't physically pull the trigger/. I had so many queries. They made my head hurt. Out of all of them, though, the one that I've been dying to ask is /why does the Bucky-Person make you sad/?" It was a rush of words. He couldn't slow down until he made his point. Steve's face contorted this way and that and he didn't bother trying to decipher it. He wanted contact. Everyone wanted contact. Well, he fucking made contact and now he was going to get his answers.

"You always did say I was a stubborn pain in your ass." Steve replied his voice scratchy and raw from tears unshed. He cleared his throat once, twice and took a breath. "You died Buck." He said anguished. "I wasn't close enough to grab you. Then you come back..like a ghost and when you said you didn't remember me or your name, it was like a knife twisting. Hydra already took so much from me...that to hear that they took you too was too much. I failed you Buck. I never thought you had the serum, never thought you could have survived that fall."

"It took a very long time for me to realize, of all the times I forgot and remembered, that you would never have thought to send a search party to gather my body in your grief," James admitted to him, "I forgave you every time, and then when I realized that, the forgiveness was solid and final, no questions asked. Do you want to know what that nightmare was about, however, Mellon?" he asked, "My nightmare was a memory. You never came for me like you did the first time. I fought tooth and nail, blood sweat and tears. Then they told me /you were dead/. Then I didn't fight anymore. I woke up, and I refused to believe you were alive. Zan called you. She banked on Angelina, because you would be sympathetic or something. I never did clarify her reasoning."

"She probably thought she was protecting you." Steve said softly. "Or maybe she thought she knew that if I thought you were in trouble, or needed me, I'd go over there. Angelina's different all in all." He bowed his head, trying to hold back tears. "And instead of doing a search party, I went up and died...I gave up."

"You didn't live for Peggy, because you wanted to be with me." It was a statement. "I chose the name /James/, by the way...because I wanted to be someone who made you happy, not sad. I was angry at your Bucky, for making you so sad."

Steve let out a shocked laugh and he nodded his head. "You used to hate that name. James. You said that it was too grown up. But damn if you didn't say it proudly when "Sergeant" got tacked in on the front of it."

He played with that in his head for a second, before he nodded, "Makes sense. I don't remember, but it makes sense." He felt his hands twitch. Yes. It was okay. He reached out, watching Steve's eyes widen and his shock made him stiffen. Clasping both hands on either side of his face, he pressed their foreheads together, "You feel guilty about so much..."

"Maybe too much." Steve agreed, pressing his forehead against James. "It was one thing to let you fall. To see you die. Another to see you and shoot me. And then it was another to see Angelina." He reached out and gripped James' biceps. "You know I'd never let you or Angelina stay in there for as long as you did. You know if I knew sooner, I would've done something. Anything. You have to have known that."

"I do. Yes. One way or another, I would have gotten out and we would have found each other again. Like we did in this life." James agreed, "The thing is, Steve...you don't have to. You don't have to be guilty anymore. I'm here. I'm alive. I'm with you and I'm alive, touching you. You're touching me. I'm real."

Steve let out a sob and a laugh all at once and he nodded. They stood there as Steve tried to get his head back screwed on. "I know Bucky. I know." He took another shuddering breath and tried to get some control over his emotions. "I know you're here and you're alive, I know that a lot of it wasn't my fault, but I still think it is. Even if you forgive me, I can't forgive myself. I fucked up." He took a breath and sobbed a little. "Angelina...she dreamed of us dying. She dreamed of you shooting her and telling her to die."

Cursing, Bucky shook his head and moved his hands from Steve's face and wrapped them around his shoulders instead in a hug, His own eyes prickled. "Stop. Stop doing that, where you shove everything down. If we're going to cry like buffoons, this is a good a time as any...we can talk about Angelina in a minute," he sniffed. Angelina's nightmare...no wonder she'd been so wary off him. So eager to make everyone happy and did everything he asked. Shit.

Steve laughed shakily but held on to James and cried silently. "I'm just glad you finally contacted me."

"Good..." Bucky whispered, "As long as I make you happy, you can call me Bucky, Stevie," he buried his face in Steve's shoulder, and they just held on while they shook, choking on their tears from time to time. After a little while, or a long while, hell he had no idea, their shaking subsided and he pulled away enough to wipe his eyes which were now bloodshot and red, though Steve didn't look any better, "Come to Thanksgiving Dinner, with Zan and the rest of us. She told me River, Calla, and Vince are gunna be there."

Steve smiled watery and he wiped his eyes too. "I'll come." He took a deep breath in. "I was just going to stay in the Tower anyway so...no plans are being interrupted."

"If you died and I had to kill Angel," Buck said in response to Steve's earlier statement, "I'd kill myself next. That, or destroy whoever made it happen, and /then/ kill myself. Whatever. There would be no point in living."

"I would ask "What about River" but since she's dead in this nightmare..." Steve sighed sadly. "You terrified her in the dream." He said softly. "You killed her after saying some...really really horrible things to her." He swallowed a little. "I told her I'd never blame her if we died. I told her that I'd fight against her, that I would do my best to bring her home, but I was gonna understand if it was my life that had to be taken."

"If River wasn't dead in the nightmare, I would still rather kill myself than go back to her, because I wouldn't have a soul left," Buck told him slowly, "If all of you were dead, all the more reason. I don't know what I said, but I'll try and talk to her about her nightmare another time. I won't tell her you told me, just say that I had a bad day and got curious. I'll think of something to say at the feast tonight, to make up for it, too."

Steve gently reached and gripped Bucky's shoulders. "I think you should've gone back to River." He said honestly. "If Angel and I were dead. Cuz it wouldn't be fair to her to die from a broken heart /and/ I'd kick your ass if you left her alone and you guys were like married or something like that."

"That's going to be a very long debate," Buck drawled, "I'll concede for now, because we're both drained from all we've said so far. As it is, I wanted to tell you...even if I come to the Tower, I'm keeping my apartment. For Angel to live in, and for a safe space, home away from home. That's what your apartment was, anyway. Do you want to...go there? I think they're cooking in Dylan's apartment anyway."

"I'm fine with whatever you're willing to give." Steve answered with a smile. "And no, of course. I understand that completely. I'm certain so will Angel."

Bucky reached down and took Steve's hand, not caring in the least if people saw them, and got them out of the alleyway and started heading home. It felt...right, natural, to think of himself as Bucky now, after that talk. What would Angelina think? "Can we...talk about something lighter? You...you and Calla. How are things?"

"We're doing good. We're trying to get a date set up. Every time we try, we always have a group thing that we have to do. Pumpkin carvings, Halloween parties, her classes are going nuts, Thanksgiving. It might slow down in December, but I'm doubting it," Steve sighed, "I don't think Calla and River are going to emerge from their shop unless it's for food and even then."

"Then take her out to a late-night diner?" Buck offered, "Their shop closes around seven or eight, so...I dunno. That sounds like your best bet. I'm happy for you, too, Stevie, that you found someone. Maybe...maybe you can focus a little more on her now that you don't have to worry about me as much."

Steve smiled and squeezed his hand, "I'm happy you found River, too." He said gently. "And I'm always going to worry about you Buck. I always will even when Calla and I are further in our relationship."

"Well, ain't that funny, considering I'm still going to worry about you. My mission...is to protect you. Always has been, always will be. We share that mission, I guess," he smiled a bit lopsidedly up at him.

Steve nodded. "So does the protection detail involve food or an apartment or both? You never did tell me which we're doing."

"We're walking to my apartment and we're hoping Angelina and Dylan are in his cooking, so I can show you around," Buck bumped his shoulder with Steve's playfully.

Steve grinned. "Sounds good then. God I'm glad you contacted."

()

It was thankfully only seven, since River had promised to cover because it wasn't short notice. They'd taken at least a week in advance for anything to happen and reserve a restaurant spot. It wasn't anything too fancy, but fancy enough that Calla felt compelled to wear a nice outfit. No dresses, not in this freezing cold weather, but white dress pants and a light blue blouse with her pearl claw necklace as the accent hanging on her chest, the other a jade green beaded choker that had smaller pearls spotted around it,  pearl earrings, and a matching bracelet. She was placing down three blue cards on the wood table when familiar footsteps caught her attention and she looked up.

“Hey.” Steve smiled as he approached, he leaned over to give her a hug before taking his own seat. “Sorry if I made you wait. With all the cold weather, it’s like traffic gets worse, not better.” He noticed the cards and he blinked. “I’m guessing River and Bucky told you about that strange man that talks way to professionally?”

"I know, I actually left early for that reason. River did, and about how Bucky had a panic attack afterward," Of course, she wouldn't say River also told her about Zakhar saying the name Soldat and how truly terrified he was, "I actually...carry my cards with me when I go out. Not all the time, but tonight I felt like I should. I was just about to turn them and find out what they were."

"I can stay quiet until you finish." Steve smiled warmly. Inwardly, he winced. He wasn't all that surprised to know that Bucky had a panic attack. Cards didn't hold shit back if one knew about how to read them. "I know that readings are mostly private, so you don't have to worry."

"It's fine, it was more general, what do they want to show me sort of thing," Calla nodded and turned the first card. It had the title "Renewal" on it. She stared at it and felt her world go topsy-turvy. It couldn't mean...did it? "Review and evaluate, the saying at the bottom says. A favorable assessment of the facts. Time to move in a new direction. The deeper meaning is that I'm at the threshold of making an important change." She didn't know how she felt about that.

"Sounds like a good thing," Steve encouraged.

"Maybe...possibly...one can only hope," Calla hummed and turned the middle card and she physically paled. "T-Ten of Fire, is this one." Her throat stuck and she could feel Steve got a little worried, "Too much work. Accept help from others. Life is out of Balance. Stress-related health concerns. The...deeper meaning is just that, all work and no play. Also hope for resolution in my situation." What she didn't say, was another additional meaning was Darkness before the Dawn. Oh god. This card really was talking about her powers.

Steve frowned. "Sounds like you might want to close up shop for the holiday or at least make shorter hours than the long ones that some shops do. I wouldn't want you to get sick."

"That's something I'll definitely have to talk to River about..." Calla's breath hitched, "I don't like getting sick, either. Um. Anyway..." she turned the last card, which was upside down. She had to pick it  up to read it and she wanted to hide. "Queen of Fire, at the top it says Confident, Warm, Intelligent, Graceful. At the bottom it says Stretch your wings and fly. Don't underestimate yourself. Assert your independence and creativity. Yet...it's upside down so...I think it means to talk about me personally. Positive means I'm self-confident. Negative means I'm not. It's also telling me I'm not...trusting my intuition."

Steve nodded, though wasn't exactly sure what to say to that. Anything he could say could come off as condescending or mean. "It sounds like those cards were accurate then?"

'More than you know...' Calla wanted to say to him, but she just packed them away in her deck with a nod, "Yeah. So, shall we order? I can give you a reading while we wait for the food, even, if you'd like. Since I have them."

Steve nodded and quickly skimmed the menu as the waitress came over. Once they got their orders in, Steve looked at Calla and smiled as he held his hand out. "Do I need to shuffle or...is it all you?"

"You can shuffle," Calla smiled, "Think of whatever, do whatever. Doesn't matter to me, I don't have any strict rules. If any cards fly out set them to the side, is all," she shrugged, sliding the huge deck over, "If you need to split it and shuffle each one separately that's fine, there's like, 78 cards in this deck so it's pretty irritating. Though, you have big hands so it might not be an issue."

Steve laughed. "Not sure if that was a compliment, but I'll take it as is." He took the deck and shuffled it a few times. Once he was done, he gave her back the deck and watched her do a more complicated spread.

"Steve stop," Calla said in amusement as she pulled off the sixth card, setting it on the table and looked back at the deck, "You're going to make me do a big one, aren't you?" she asked as she continued to pull moe from it, some from on top, a couple from the bottom, a few she spread the cards out and took from the middle. Eventually she ended up having to stand up and spread the cards out along the length instead of the short ways because there was thirteen cards in the shape of an X, "You're complicated. I knew that already, though," she teased.

"It's what happens when you time jump. Things were simpler back in the forties." Steve grinned. "Are the cards going to tell you just how complicated I am or what kind of spread is this?"

"I did a general. Literally this is 'the keyword x' and it's just an overall big picture. It's mostly positive, so good for you," Calla giggled and she pointed at the middle card, "This is you." Flipping it over, it read Knight of Air, "Brilliant, Impartial, Professional, Diplomatic. Wow. To a T, isn't it? Speak your mind with confidence. Seek out professional advice. Balance mental and emotional considerations. Deeper meaning instead of following Person I'm going to follow Situation which is You're going to receive valuable advice and it's important that your decisions be fair, but don't hesitate to ask a third party if you need to."

Calla watched him nod and moved to the left side of the X, starting at the top half, but starting with the one closest to the first card, Page of Air, "This is your 'worry' card. Top reads Logical, Honest, Impulsive, Curious. Bottom reads Challenging information. Delays or changes to plans. Truth delivered without tact. Hmm. Wait a second...let me...double check," she pulled away and grabbed the thick booklet, flipping through the pages, "This one...Your concern is Angelina. A youth who's often intelligent, honest, and endlessly curious. A person who's analytical with a brilliant intellect, and who can reveal the truth behind situations. Fair. Logical. Unemotional. Impulsive."

Steve blinked. "Well. You're not wrong." He agreed. "She really doesn't have a lot of tact. You nailed her to a T."

"I didn't do anything. The cards did," Calla hummed, moving on quickly out of curiosity, "The one above that is your 'background' card, association with the issue. Negative. It's Four of Water. Missing an opportunity. Discontentment or boredom. Open your eyes to the possibility. It's funny, because this card general means you're missing everything, and that you're focusing on what you don't have rather than what you do. So, I believe this card while negative is a positive. You love Angelina to death and jump at every chance to help her. This leads to the Factor..."

She flipped the very top card of the left hand side, "How to influence the issue. Eight of Earth. Skilled work is rewarded. Learning all there is to know about a topic. Going back to school. Deeper meaning - You're committed to learning about your project and are on the right track. Yet, there's more to learn."

"So continue teaching Angelina." Steve mused. "Probably see if I can't get her enrolled with a G.E.D program?" He tapped his finger against the table. "Or at the very least, just continue to be there and see what else catches her interest..."

"That I have no idea. Probably best to talk to her about it," Calla smiled at him, giving him a small hug around the shoulders, "Moving on..." she went to the right side of the first card, going at it's corner, "This is your Mind card. Emotional impact. The card is..." she flipped it, "Oooh, hey, look at this one," she pulled it closer and handed it to him, "The Emperor. Archangel Michael. Organization and logic. Structure and discipline. Leadership. Ring any bells?" she cooed, nudging his shoulder with hers, "The deeper meaning of this card is super long, so the condensed version is basically your dreams are valid and sound but still need guidelines to manifest properly. Structure and Order are your friends as you execute your plans. Believe in your ability to be a diplomatic leader. You got this card in particular because Michael is coaxing you to call on him for strength and courage. as you make important life changes."

"It's funny." Steve mused. "He was my Patron Saint. So a bonus that I have him as an emotional mind card."

"I like that," Calla smiled and reached for the next card, "This one's Impact, physical. It's negative, sadly...Page of Water. A new person enters your life. A relationship begins a new phase. Heightened psychic abilities. This is a relationship card. Since you haven't met anybody new, the alternative is 'a current relationship may enter a new phase'. It's important to discuss your feelings with those around you. Your intuition may be heightened at this time. Additional meaning is imagination and artistic endeavors. Important dreams." Calla tapped her chin, "So since it's negative...you're keeping things bottled up and that's not good for physical health? Basic card, I think. Though, you just had a tough moment with Bucky recently, so don't push yourself."

Calla shrugged and took the last card of the top right side, "Sign. How to proceed. Three of Earth. The power of creativity. Recognition for very high-quality work. Be a 'team player'. Deeper meaning - The situation can succeed with hard work and planning. You may receive a reward for your talent and and skills. Focus on work that involves your passion. Additional meaning - create something beautiful or of high quality."

Steve nodded in thought. "So probably work on my artwork more, or do something else all together."

"Either way," Calla agreed. They'd taken such a long time with the top half their food was ready, so putting away the cards that were already read besides the first one, she shifted them so they were towards Steve, his plate being set between the bottom of what used to be the X, and she put her own plate to the side out of the way. When the waitress left, she took a sip of her water and came back to her previous spot, leaning into him as she reached for the bottom right corner of the first card, "Your Influence card, external factors. Unity. Traditional viewpoints or methods. Spiritual organizations. Seek out mentors and like-minded friends. Deeper meaning - Working in groups enriches you. It's also time to question and review any rules, restrictions, or limited beliefs that have been placed around your current situation to make sure they're fair to everyone involved. This can lift any blocks to manifest your goals."

"Two of Earth, for your Obstacle to resolution," Calla told him, "Too much going on at once. The need to make a decision. Consider a more playful approach. Deeper meaning is You're feeling stress, yet you're maintaining the status quo at work and home. The situation you're inquiring about requires a decision from you. If you're struggling to make a choice, try a playful approach. If you lighten up, you may easily find the answer."

Steve nodded. Both of these cards made a lot of sense. He did have a hard time letting loose and his depression made it hard for him to enjoy a lot of things that he used to. He knew that he needed to do more to relieve it. The spiritual thing, he wasn't sure of though. Everything else, well...it was obvious and it was clear.

"Your /Help/ Card iiiisss..." Calla had to reach a little farther for this one but she managed and clicked her tongue, "Ten of Earth. A Very happy family life. Financial security. Finding magic in the little things in life. Deeper meaning tells me you've established a lasting foundation of success in business. With this success comes feelings of freedom. Material comforts, satisfaction in your accomplishments, and the capacity to enjoy yourself. Still it is important to appreciate the little things in life. Your family life is strong, secure, and peaceful. You draw great comfort from those around you and know that you've been extremely blessed."

"We're almost done," Calla laughed softly, taking a deep breath and another drink, then turned the card at the bottom left of the first card, "Your Require, what you need, is the Eight of Water Card. A desire to move on. The search for something more meaningful. Spiritual and emotional growth. Deeper meaning...what once interested you has lost it's charm and you're seeking more meaning and rewards. You yearn to leave the past behind. These changes will bring the benefits you desire. Don't let anything distract you from your true path. A relocation or change in your job or relationships is possible at this time. Additional meaning is choosing to leave a painful situation. Dealing with feelings of burnout."

To stop being a Hero. To put Captain America aside. That would be the easy route. Bucky was here. He had Angelina to look after. But Hydra was still around. Even if he did put down the shield, what did that mean for them?

A happy family life. Could he really get that?

"Now for Initial Outcome, intermediate. This card is Negative..." Calla frowned as she turned it, "Eight of Fire. Imagine that, a different element other than /Earth/." she joked, "The bottom reads Events moving at a fast pace. Delays are over. Many things happening at once. The deeper meaning is roughly the same; Past delays are over and you may feel caught off guard as frenzied activities take over. Exhilarating and overwhelming. Too many balls in the air? Stay grounded. Since it's Negative it's the /complete/ opposite of that. There's still delays and lots of them. Things are at a major standstill," she sighed.

Because he wouldn't move. Steve understood that and nodded. "Understandable. So the last card would be?"

"Final Outcome and conclusion," she gathered the rest and turned it over, "Ten of Air. The end of a difficult situation. Embrace the change, and expect things to get better now. Recovering from an addiction. I love how all of these worked together. Anyway...deeper meaning is that Fortunately, endings are always followed by new beginnings. you may feel sadness over it, mixed with welcome relief. It's time to walk away and embrace the dawning of a new day. You've had a lot of cards that say it's time to change your career and a previous card said when you do don't be too drastic, slowly phase it out. I didn't really think about it until now, with this one being a repeat. I was focused on the other meanings."

"It's something I should think about." Steve mused. "But at the moment it's not really an option. Bucky and Angelina still need my protection. Whatever that might be or what it could entail." He had been eating while she read the cards. "It's a lot to think about regardless though."

Calla sat down in her previous spot and put everything away, finally pulling her own food toward her, "That was a lot to take in, and a lot of energy. I hope I didn't just botch the date with such an influx of information and advice."

"I asked." Steve shrugged. "I could've said not to. I know how readings work. Angelina told me about her reading from a man named Zakhar. She didn't mention much, but she did explain it to me."

"That's good. I hope things work out in the end. It's your choice to take the advice or not. Not everyone likes what they hear," Calla was quiet for a minute while she ate, then looked up at him, "How have things been with Bucky since the Thanksgiving Dinner we all had?"

"Bucky's still thinking about the Avenger's Tower and whether or not he wants to join. Angelina already knows that she's going to inherit the apartment." Steve said slowly. "I offered that she could come to the Tower too, but she denied it. She wants to be near Dylan and well...she doesn't think being an Avenger will do much good for her. Which I agreed, but...I still gave her the option to chose."

"That's good. Choice is something you'd never take away from them, after what they've been through," she nodded, "Do you have anything you'd like to ask me, Steve?"

Steve shook his head. "Not in particular." He said after a moment. "I guess what type of dog you like or if you're a cat person. Something mundane. I'm not going to ask you anything hard and emotionally crushing on the second date."

"Haha, I guess that's fair," Calla giggled, "I like cats, but big dogs like huskies or labs or even golden retrievers are all really nice dogs. Big and protective with good deep barks."

"Huskies are adorable." Steve grinned. "I can't really choose a favorite among dogs. They're all so good, and smart. I haven't really found a cat that really likes me. I think I'm just a dog person really."

"An animal wouldn't really do well in the shop, anyway," Calla smiled in understanding, "There's nothing wrong with that. Um...how about...I know. Something really silly. Do you have a favorite ride at the amusement park?"

Steve was highly amused. "You know, there was this ride I hated. Bucky took me on it back when we were younger and I was really sick afterwards. Ever heard of the Cyclone? It's really old, practically made of wood. It's a death trap really. Even though I hated it back then...It became my favorite. It brought back good memories. I went alone, so I looked like a dork, but...I was thinking of taking Angelina, and seeing how she liked that ride. Maybe she'll get sick, too, or maybe she'll think it's the greatest thing in the world. I already got my payback for it when we did the train mission, so Bucky doesn't have to think that I'm trying to get revenge."

"Oh geezus, I got sick on that ride and had the headache from hell afterwards. There's no way I'm getting on that one with you," Calla laughed, "I like the Skymaster instead. It's like this huge hammer that spins around. Thor would be amused I think, though I don't know anything about him really to know for sure.There's also those rides where you sit in an open box and the whole contraption spins in a circle really really fast and the person next to you ends up squished against you. I'd love getting on those with my mom when I was growing up. Besides all that, I like going to the Amusement Park for the food the most. What about sports?"

"Baseball." Steve replied. "Anything else isn't my type. Sports is mostly Zan's court."

"Hockey and volleyball, and during the Winter Olympics I enjoy watching the ice skating. Summer Olympics the gymnastics are amazing," Calla told him, "Winter Olympics are a lot more interesting to watch even though Winter itself sucks balls."

"So then what's your favorite season? I like spring." Steve asked curiously.

"Summer and swimming," she admitted with a soft laugh, "Even in the blistering heat if I have a good beach or ice cold pool to lounge in I'm golden. I love the water. Any season when the pools are closed I don't like," she giggled.

"Swimming's fun, but I like it when the water's heated." He admitted. "Too cold and I start having a panic attack."

"I'm...sure it would. Indoor pools during the winter make me happy. Have you been in a jacuzzi when it's snowing around you? It's weird. Went to a cabin one time for a Christmas Vacation and the jacuzzi was outside. River and I had to dart to it or get our toes froze, but it was funny when snowflakes got in our hair while our bodies were in hot water," Calla grinned brightly as she told her story.

Steve shook his head. "You girls were crazy to do it. I would've just stayed inside with tea or a cup of coffee and read. Tony has this really nice indoor pool though that stays heated. It's always a welcomed treat when we get bored or want to burn off some energy and don't feel like lifting weights."

Calla gave a long pause at that, observing him while she ate a little more. Thinking of him all dripping wet was a great mental image. Finally she smirked at him, "I bet all of you could get in it at once, even, and not have to bother anybody's bubble. What other things to you get to enjoy in the Tower?"

Steve thought about that as he ate some of his food. "I don't know." He said honestly. "Most of my fun is outside the tower. Painting classes, showing Angelina how to ride a motorcycle and being around Zan. I get to hang out with Bucky in his apartment too. I think I can answer that more when I do some of the things those cards were telling me about. Right now...the Tower just stresses me out."

"Oh?" Calla's eyes widened, "I'm glad you have fun at my classes, and that you and Bucky are together again. He's tried hard to make his apartment a safe space. I'm sure he wouldn't mind extending that to you if you ask. How's Angelina doing, learning that? She is a tiny girl on your huge ass bike, after all."

"She rides beautifully." Steve smiled. "It is a bit big for her, but she compromises where she can. I told her that she'd have to practice some on whatever bike she's gonna get when she gets her license, but for right now, she's good. I think a sport-touring type of bike will be good for her. It'll make her lean forward, rather than back and she can maintain speed a lot better than on my cruiser."

"That sounds like a great idea," Calla gaped a little, "Wow, leaps and bounds. You're a great Uncle, Steve. She's lucky to have you." She chewed thoughtfully, fishing in her head for something else to talk about.

Steve grinned shyly, "I really hope so." He said sincerely. He jumped into another conversation, making Calla feel more at ease and enjoyed his time with her as they began talking again.

()

Bucky had just finished moving all of his stuff to the second bedroom when he heard a knock on the door, muffled by distance. The second bedroom was smaller, but he didn't have a lot of stuff to make it cramped and Angelina's belongings were taking over. She had apologized, but he had just ruffled her hair and left it at that. He really didn't mind. She was expressing herself and that was what mattered.

Walking out into the hall he could smell the apple cinnamon candle that was sitting on the bar counter clearly. He rounded the corner to the kitchen, taking a deep breath and humming in content. The apartment was nice and cozy warm, the snow outside for the mid-December weather blowing fiercely in the blizzard, but all was well in his own little world. Turning the next corner, back to the closet, he came past the back of the door and peered through the peep hole.

The peace and quiet of his own little world was shattered by what he saw.

Unlocking and whipping the door open, he gaped at Steve, "Pal, you look like you got hit by a truck." He did. His face was bruised and battered, cheeks and nose red from the cold, snow in his blond hair. His nose had a cut across it and he swore he must've had a broken nose, but since it was straight and normal looking the serum must've taken care of it. He wasn't standing straight and tall. His gait was fucked up when he allowed Steve entrance and he stumbled forward and it /bothered/ him. Bucky reached out and caught Steve around the waist, forcing him to put his arm over his shoulders while he kicked the door closed behind them.

Steve laughed a little as Bucky guided him to the couch and made him sit down. "The serum's healing a lot of it." He promised. "It's only been two days. I was /much/ worse looking when I came back. I thought about coming here right after but...I didn't want to scare Angel so I waited till I was at /least/ decent looking."

"Steve...you're welcome whenever. I would've chided you about bleeding on the carpet but that would be all in good fun. I know how to clean it up, after all," Buck promised, sitting beside him, "So tell me what happened to you? Did you get a broken leg or something? It must've been one hell of a fight. I was wondering why you weren't at the cafe or jogging. Sam wasn't around, either, so did he go, too?"

"Yeah. Just a few of us. Natasha, myself, Sam, and Tony. Though Tony was mostly our get in and get out guy as much as he hated it. But he's no good at staying subtle. You see that red and gold thing coming a mile away," Steve said as he leaned back against the couch. "Twisted ankle actually. It /was/ broken, but now it's twisted."

"Trip over you two left feet, or fuck up one of your spin-kick things? I somehow learned that just by watching you by the way. I was so confused after I did it. I remembered later, of course," Buck went back and locked the door, then he paused on his way back, "Cocoa? Tea? Something to warm you up, at least. That blizzard's crazy." He knew how much the cold bothered him, even i he was crazy enough to walk in it to come see him. Buck would've at least waited until it passed unless it was a dire emergency. His hatred of the cold was loud, not like Steve's quiet suffering.

"Tea." Steve sighed letting himself sink further back. "I heard Angelina has quite the collection now from Zan. Did she rope you into it too? Or are you just stealing form her now?" He couldn't help but to tease just a little.

"I /may/ have stolen a few FMA figures of Edward and Al," Buck laughed softly as he fished through his cupboards for something he knew Steve would enjoy, setting the kettle on the stove while he was at it, "I actually /just/ finished fixing up the second bedroom so she can have the Master one all to herself, which meant I also started taking up occupancy in the second bathroom, as she's got themed bathroom stuff from the things they play and watch."

Steve laughed a little. "Kicked you right out of a huge bedroom then."  He shook his head. He wondered what kind of theme bathroom she could have, but allowed that to just pass by his mind. "Every time I visit you or her, it feels like you both are just getting better and better. It's crazy. For a long time I thought that we wouldn't get this far. That you wanted me to stay out and only be within writing distance. Which I totally would've understood. But...it's nice. It's real good. Happy's always been a good look on you, Buck."

"Flatterer," Buck stuck his tongue out, but smiled anyway, "We try our best, leaning on each other when we can. We have our nightmares, but we're always there to bring each other out, knowing what to do now with the comfort blankets or who to call on if we need it. I gave you my number, you can call me if you need me, too," he assured just as the kettle went off and he grabbed it, working on Steve's tea and pouring water in his own as well.

After a moment of letting it steep while the silence and scent of the candle filled the room, he walked back over to Steve and handed him his cup, "Are the missions you go on classified until I become an Avenger or anything? I'm just...curious, who you fought. You don't have to tell me, either, in any case."

"A lot of it is classified. What I can tell you is that you have less people that are gonna be after you now." Steve took the cup graciously and blew on the tea. "You guys really have a knack for finding comfort things."

"We're pretty fucked up, so the more we find makes us feel safe and not wanting to crawl out of our own skin, the better," Buck nodded, "Want to watch some TV? I can turn it on, channel surf, or we can watch Netflix. You're welcome however long you want. Might be snowed in, anyway, so might as well get settled."

"Where's Angel?" Steve frowned deeply looking at Bucky. "Is she gonna be alright in that snow storm?"

"She's next door with Dylan, no biggy," Buck soothed, "She's not outside at all. It's just you and me until she comes back, unless she decides on a sleepover." He leaned into Steve, sipping at his own tea, enjoying the presence of the other man and hoping he felt comfort in his, too.

Steve leaned back automatically, taking a sip of tea. "Then yeah, some T.V will do just fine. I'm in good company with you."
The day turned into night before they knew it, outside getting darker before it's time anyway with the cloudy skies. They talked and laughed, played and shoved and Buck kept the tea coming, once or twice making cocoa for himself. Steve wasn't really a sweets person, anyway. Eventually they got starved enough that he made them a huge ass dinner, Steve helping him out and they had a feast perfect for two super soldiers within an hour. Bellies full, they lounged on the couch in a much lazier manner than before, watching more Netflix.

Steve eventually ended up with his head on Bucky's chest, listening to his heartbeat while he messed with his hair. Not nearly long enough to card his fingers through like Steve could with his, but enough to fluff and twirl around his digits. After a while, Buck noticed Steve's breathing had changed, becoming much deeper and steadier. Out cold. Sighing fondly, Buck stayed in that position for as long as he could before his body started to get stiff. Then, he shifted and half carried, half-dragged Steve to his bedroom, getting him under the covers. Steve hadn't brought any other clothes, so he was sleeping in his jeans and T-shirt tonight.

Moving to leave he felt his wrist get caught and looked back. His smile was tender as he looked at the sleeping face of his best pal. Bringing his hand up to his cheek, he nuzzled Steve's palm, "Just walking around the bed. I'm not leaving you," he promised. He was still in his pajamas, so it wasn't like it would hurt to go to bed early. Once he was able to join Steve in the bed on the other side, he yipped as his body was slid across the sheets, pulled into a solid chest by heavy and possessive arm, "Greedy little shit," he muttered, but got more comfortable.

~*~

Angelina browsed through the shelves of tea, looking at the different kinds that were being sold. She would continue going to Teavanna, but they were so expensive and she tried to use the money that she was given for her small part time job of fixing computers. This store was more or less all custom made blends by the owner and the samples that were given were heavenly and well blended.

“Ah, Anzhelina!” A deep baritone voice greeted when the doorbell jingled. She turned to see Zakhar taking off his hat and gently flapping it to get rid of the snow flakes. His nose was bright red and he wore a dark green scarf. “How wonderful to see you.” He walked over and produced a thick book. “The first story of Harry Potter. I forgot to give it to you on your visit.”

“Oh thanks.” Angelina blinked as she took the book. It looked like it would be fun. She flipped it to the back and quickly read the synopsis, smiling all the while. “What are you doing here, Zakhar? Tea?”

“I have run out.” Zakhar agreed. “This is the only place where I will dare purchase my teas. The owner is a good artisan. I trust her taste buds than any one else’s. Is this your first time here?”

“Yeah. I usually go to Teavanna-“

“Overly expensive and heavily priced for tea.” Zakhar snorted.

“-But I decided to come here and see what’s good.”

“What flavors do you like?” He asked as he stood next to her, looking at the shelves with the same intensity that she had been staring.

She looked back at the shelves. “I like the fruity kind, and some sweet. But I also like the chais and some of the oolong.”

“Quite a palette.” Zakhar looked at her. “Have you asked for a sample set?”

“A…sample set?”

“Come with me.” Zakhar gestured for her to follow and she trailed after him towards the back of the store. “Here.” He brought down a few of the boxes. “Russian sampler of teas.” He told her. “Of course you might also like the Indian sampler as well as perhaps Chiense. I wouldn’t stray with Japanese. Not that I don’t think you’d like it, but it requires a bit more effort.”

“Russian?” Angelina frowned as she took the Russian box from him. “I…don’t remember drinking tea in Russia.”

“You’re from there?” Zakhar asked curiously.

“<We traveled.>” Angelina explained, falling back to an old language. She smiled as it rolled off her tongue. Her dad would speak in Romanian to her when she was frightened, but Russian…it was the first language she learned. “<We didn’t get much of a chance to enjoy the culture.>”

“<A shame.>” Zakhar said softly, replying back to her in the same language. He spoke beautifully. She wouldn’t doubt if he lived there before. “<Don’t sweeten the teas with sugar. Go with a jam. Have you learned how to make tea snacks?>”

“Umm….” Angelina stuttered.

“<Shame on you for being a Russian.>” Zakhar sounded fond. “<Go and buy that sample set, give me the rest.>” She handed him the boxes. “<I will give you a few of my recipes for some snacks that will go with this.>”

“Okay…” Angelina watched Zakhar for a long time as they walked back to the cashier, Angelina paying for the Russian sampler. He walked her towards the door, but didn’t move to go out. “You said we were going to meet twice.”

“We have one more meeting.” Zakhar agreed.

“Did you know we were going to meet today?” Angelina’s eyebrows furrowed.

“I had a hunch.” He nodded. “I thought you could read minds?”

“It’s hard to read yours. There’s a part of you that keeps changing course.” Angelina tapped her head and slowly brought it down. “I think seeing the future must really suck.”

“It does.” Zakhar agreed softly, “There’s things that I know that will happen that I cannot stop. There’s things that if I do stop can change the course of the future for better or for worse. That is why I run my shop. That is why I remain in between the good and the bad.”

“Isn’t that hard?” Angelina frowned.

“Sometimes. But in the end, it’s a good thing.” Zakhar agreed. “Because then all the power belongs to you. You don’t have pressure to turn the Future out to anyone’s whims. There have been Seers who have tried. Those are the ones that usually are killed.”

Like Joan of Arc. Like Cassandra from the Greek Mythology. Never believed. “Oh.”

Zakhar nodded. “Do you by chance have a phone?”

“I do.” Angelina quickly reached into her back pocket and took it out. She handed it to Zakhar who quickly typed in something and handed it back to her. She frowned.

“My number. The last time we meet, will be where the future will change it’s course. For better or for worse.” Zakhar said softly. “I will send you those snack recipes.”

“Thank you.” Angelina smiled. “I think Dylan would enjoy that immensely.”

“Dyl-Dal.” Zakhar recalled. “Right…”

“Bye!” Angelina waved and ran away.

“That poor girl has no idea what she’s getting herself into, doesn’t she?” The woman at the cashier stand said bluntly.

“Whatever do you mean? I’m here for tea and I helped a friend. What more could you ask of me?”

“Anyone else would think you’re insincere.” The woman rolled her eyes. “You’re trouble as trouble comes Zakhar.”

Zakhar grinned as he picked out the tea that he wanted and put back the samplers. “That is mean. Trouble may be what comes before and after me, but I can guarantee it’s not my fault.” He paused and then took down a second Russian sampler. “Speaking of my home country has left a longing.” He walked back over to the stand and placed it down. “It’s been a while since I heard such fluent Russian.”

“Oh? How long was a while?” The woman asked.

“Since a man walked into my shop.” Zakhar grinned. “Thank you for your time as always.”

“Who else would talk to you?”

“Ah isn’t that the sixteen dollar question now?” He brought his hat back on his head and waved. “Have a good day.”

()

"Can you believe Christmas is only a week away, Vince? Ugh, I still need to finish making or buying gifts," Calla groaned to her friend on the other end, "This will be our third one since getting out. I'm feeling sentimental. Our first one was so meager, and now we have so many friends."

"You're telling me. We went from Dylan and Zan to meeting most of the Avengers. Well the important ones." Vince agreed. "I was just /wondering/ about whether or not James and Angel even celebrate Christmas. For all I know, they could celebrate Hanukah or not at all. What do you think we should do? I'd hate to leave them out of the festivities."

"Oh, that's a good question. I was going to get them presents regardless. I can always ask Bucky, see what he says," Calla hummed as she tugged on the hood of her jacket, pulling it down against the wind, "If I'm able to get away with it, I might drag Steve to a tree farm and pick out a little one to throw up in their apartment and we can decorate it. They were all so emotional during Thanksgiving, so the smaller get-togethers are definitely the way to go, not overwhelming but just enough, ya know?"

"I know that you're all about that ho ho ho," Vince frowned. "But don't go overboard. Steve might enjoy the tree in his apartment. I know he celebrates Christmas. Even if they /do/ celebrate Christmas, we don't know what really can set them off." He reminded. "The smell of pine could be a bad thing."

"Oh, what about just getting a fake one from the store then with no smell? That slipped my mind, thank you for reining me in," she laughed a bit in embarrassment, "That's the last thing I want, is to make anyone uncomfortable."

"Calla if no one reined you in, we'd find you in the Jacuzzi when it's /freezing balls/ outside." Vince snorted loudly. "But I think a small fake tree would be alright. Something easy to assemble and put away. Their apartment is already crowded enough as it is, and that's mostly Dylan's fault. Has he even /asked/ her out yet???!!!!"

"You know Dylan, he likes waiting for the right moment," Calla giggled, "Zan's caught him kissing Angelina's cheek, though, so I'd say they're practically dating but they're not labeling it."

"Maybe not to us," Vince agreed. "Whatever that right moment is, I hope it's soon. Because then James can be prepared for the next step. Do you think he'll be alright with a wedding? I'd hate for him not to be able to walk his daughter down the aisle. Though I think he'd marry River first...Oh my god what if Angelina married Dylan first before River and James?! That would just be the greatest thing in the world!"

"Oh boy, we'll have to wait and see. James did ask River out almost two months ago and they're adorable," Calla laughed, "I think Bucky would be just fine with a wedding. He'd be surrounded by people who care about him. He'll be able to say no more touching by that point, too, since there would be--" she was cut off when there was a KABOOM CRACK and she screamed at the noise along with a ton of other people around her, putting her back against the nearest wall, breathing heavily, eyes wide. Vince was shouting on the other end and she had to focus to hear his voice.

"Hey what happened?!" Vince snapped. "Calla, you should get back to the shop if you're near by or take cover."

"I...I don't know...that sounded like a bomb..." Calla squeaked. She saw people running, and stepped from her place beneath a store front canopy and went to the end of the block, looking around the corner down the opposite way people were going. A building was on fire, people stupid enough to stand by had their phones out recording, and there were a couple smarter ones on their phones. Everyone was as pale as the snow around them. "A-A building is on fire, but it looks like people are already taking care of..." she trailed off as she spotted a figure running towards the building.

"Oh, god, Steve...don't do it," she gasped as she saw him stop and look up. She was pretty far away so she was sure he didn't see her. Her feet carried her closer before she could stop herself, and soon she was running, Vince yelling at her but she had to end the call and put it away as she saw a person on a higher floor bust out a window and cry for help, scream and disappear again as the winter wind blew inside and the fire fed on it greedily. Steve did a quick sweep before barging inside. Stomach dropping, Calla put her hands over her mouth to stifle a shout. This couldn't be happening.

Steve could die. Super soldier or not, he was in a burning building and who knew just how unstable it was, what exactly had caused the sudden fire to begin with. Had it really been a bomb? Was something else like a blown propane tank? That she could live with, but this...

She could feel her fingers tingle with her panic. Oh god. Quickly, before she could make up her mind, she tried to find a different way inside that wouldn't be immediately visible to the pedestrians gathering around. Taking off her jacket and throwing it in an alleyway to retrieve later, she rose her hand and kicked in the fire-eaten wooden door.

~

Steve had just been walking by when the bomb exploded. Fast instincts made him dive underneath a car and roll over to the other side, hoping to protect himself from the blast. When he stood up, he watched in muted horror as they poured out of the building. Already there were sirens, which meant the first responders were already on their way. He quickly ran to where there was a group of people and started to make sure that everyone was okay.

“Oh my god, Marissa is still in there!” Was all he had to hear in order for him to start running towards the building. The fire fighters weren’t here yet, but there was already a few police officers already calling in for first responders.

They wouldn’t get there in time. “Hey who last saw Marissa?!” Steve shouted.

“She was on the second floor!” Another one hollered and it was all Steve needed to run into the building. The flames were hot against his face and he already inhaled enough smoke to make his lungs burn like crazy. He took his shirt and ripped off a piece of fabric and wrapped it around his nose and his mouth and headed towards the second story.

He could hear the creaking of the wood, and a few times there was a sudden crash that told him that the structure was falling apart. He didn’t have a whole lot of time. He found Marissa easily enough. She was sitting on the stairs, half-way there to collapsing. He picked her up and turned around when his pathway was suddenly blocked.

He needed to think, but before he had time to come up with a plan two he saw Calla come in.

“What the HELL are you doing?!” He shouted, his voice raw and raspy. He coughed a bit.

"I'm getting you out of here," Calla responded, and raised both her hands. Sparks similar to the embers around them flashed at her fingertips, and she took a breath and let it out slowly, pulling them down and apart, the flames on the boards that blocked Steve's way dissipating and burning out, "Kick your way through, and let's get out," She told him, trying to keep her voice calm, though it was getting raspy as well from the smoke.

Steve didn't say anything else as he kicked his way through and followed Calla out. By now the there were fighter fighters and the EMTS. Immediately Marisa was taken  from his arms and Steve denied medical treatment, stress levels already up high. He shouldn't have left Bucky's apartment. He watched as Calla also denied treatment since she didn't get burned, though she did inhale a lot of smoke. "Firestarter?" Was all he could ask.

Calla nodded, glad they were far enough away from anyone to hear them, and made her way back to where she'd tossed her jacket, throwing it back on and putting the hood up, "We should leave the scene," she coughed and spit out what came up from her throat, black darkening the snow, "Bucky's apartment is close, right? Closer than my shop..." She felt sick. She couldn't look up at him, huddling in her coat the best she could but still feeling cold to her bones.

"Here." Steve brought her close to him, wrapping his arm around her and huddled her close. "I'm sorry that I yelled." He murmured. "I got scared that you were going to get hurt."

"I...I know..." It was hesitant, but she looked up at him and opened her mouth to speak when she was blinded by a bright flash and immediately jerked her body away from it, her face burying into Steve's chest and she gripped him. What was that? She blinked away the spots and looked as a shady looking guy she swore she'd seen before was putting away his phone and turning on his heel, darting away before Steve could grab or yell at him. "We need to leave, talk about this somewhere else," she pleaded, voice high with panic.

"Yeah...lets go." Steve said, and gently pulled her closer and hurried his step. He really hoped Bucky wouldn't mind them using his safe place again.

~

Before Steve had left, Bucky had given him a spare key in case of emergencies and Calla watched Steve take off his shoes and call out for his friend. The lights were all off and no one was home. Angelina and Bucky must've stepped out. That was fine. She put her coat in the coat closet and went through the kitchen, turning on the faucet and washing her face of the soot, also blowing her nose with the paper towels, making grossed out noises at the blackness. Soon, she made her way to the living room while Steve gave up his search. Wrapping her arms around herself, she shifted and watched him, waiting for his questions.

"Do you want something to drink? I know Angelina wouldn't mind if some of her tea went missing. I just have to stay away from her Russian pack. She's hiding that from Bucky." Steve said as he walked to the kitchen and started pulling down mugs.

"That would be good for us both, clear away what we breathed in," Calla agreed, nodding and took some deep breaths. Vince no doubt called River by now. They were going to be so upset with her...and that guy had gotten her picture, too. The adrenaline had worn off and she sunk into the couch, curling up in a corner. "It's a wonder Vince hadn't called me back to chide me for hanging up on him..." she said absently.

"He'll probably call you back soon." Steve said as he put on the kettle. "So do River and Vince have powers, too?"

"Yeah...Vince...he can mimic powers, and River's a Water elemental to my Fire," Calla informed him.

Steve nodded, "Was it natural or...you don't have to answer that one. Never mind." He shook his head from side to side. "But you didn't meet in high school did you?"

Calla suddenly burst into tears and she coked on her sob, bringing her hands to her face as she curled in on herself even more, "No, no we didn't. I'm so sorry. What we...were /like/ in high school was accurate, but we...we weren't friends. We...we were all kidnapped and...we were their experiments. Our powers aren't...natural at all. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you...I've ruined everything. Three years, all fucked up...because of me. River and Vince are going to be so upset..."

"Hey," Steve was glad that Angelina invested in a kettle. He could take time to let the water boil while he went over to Calla's side to hold her. "No. Don't go down that road. They're probably more scared that you're hurt than worried about exposure." He soothed. "It's okay, Calla. I understand. You were trying to protect them."

Slowly she uncurled only to wrap herself in Steve's embrace, still crying, "I'm scared. I don't know...what to do. That guy got my picture. We worked so hard...Steve...I couldn't just...stand by and...and watch while you ran in there. For all I knew...you didn't need saving, but Fire...that's what I do, and the...the building...we won't know what really happened until they finish their investigation."

"Easy, easy, let's worry about one thing at a time." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief. "I actually forgot I had this, I could've used it instead of ripping my shirt." He handed it to her. "Let me fix tea and then let's put on a movie. I know you're worried about the picture, I know you're scared about your friends, and no we don't know about what really happened in the building. But there's no use worrying now. Not at the moment."

Calla nodded, hiccuping and wiping her eyes, sniffling, "Okay...okay...my mind's going...a mile a minute...I'm sorry...I should call Vince," she tried to breathe, in and out slowly, trying to calm down and not worry Steve any further while he stood up to attend to the tea kettle that went off. Fishing for her phone in her pocket, she dialed her friend.

"Are you okay?!" Was the first thing Vince said when he picked up. Steve was heading into the kitchen to get the tea ready in the mugs.

"Vince..." Calla hiccuped again and wiped away more tears, "I'm here...I'm alright. I...I went in after Steve...I got him out of a tight spot...and...and we're...we're in B-Bucky's apartment. Steve had a spare key." She tried to swallow back another cry, "I'm so sorry, Vince..."

"Why the hell are you sorry? For scaring me? You should be. I expect something baked. Like a brownie or something for the heart attack you gave me. I didn't call River, so she's not...you know...freaking the fuck out either." Vince said soothingly.

"Bake something for...a sugar heart attack instead...got it," Calla's laugh was breathy through her tears, "I'll...I'll tell River when...when I get home. We all need to talk. Steve and I we're...gunna watch a movie or something until Bucky and Angelina get back. Dunno where they are."

"On a triple date with River." Vince said after a moment. "At least, that's what the text I got from River assumed. She's super happy, Calla." He grinned. "We picked a good bunch of apples. I'll call you when she comes home. You enjoy that movie okay? Hang out with superhero boyfriend."

"Okay. Thanks, Vince. I'm sorry again...I'll talk to you later," she said as she hung up, looking at Steve as he came back with two mugs of tea, "Has Buck gotten any physical movies or is it all whatever's available on Netflix?" she asked curiously, feeling better already.

"Netflix." Steve answered as he handed Calla a mug and sat down, "I know their password so it's free game." He picked up the remote. "Any requests?"

"Not a clue. Comedy, let's start with that," Calla leaned into him heavily, drinking her tea as he put in the code and started browsing.

~*~

When Calla got home, River was humming happily to a video on youtube. She hadn't even noticed Vince was there with her. She'd called him to let him know she was on her way and to meet up. This couldn't really wait. Yet. As she stared at her friend she felt awful about ruining her mood. This was just a really really bad day.

"You look like a cat died." Vince couldn't help but to say when he noticed that Calla wasn't looking at him. River turned around and looked really concerned at her friend. "Is it about that explosion?"
"What explosion? What happened?" River hurriedly put her phone away and gave Calla all of her attention.

"I..." Calla's voice got stuck in her throat and she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and explained everything that happened, from both hers and Steve's perspectives as they had talked to Buck and Angelina when they got back. Steve hadn't looked pleased that Buck knew but didn't tell him, but had stayed calm through it. "We really need to talk about what to do. I swore I've seen that man before. Maybe outside the shop, watching Steve come in and out of the shop."

"He coudl be Hydra. Probably most likely is." Vince frowned sadly. "We built a good life here...but there's no shame in picking up and moving. Especially if that's the safest bet."

"I can't leave." River admitted sadly, looking a bit fearful at her friends. "That's not an option for me."

"Because of Bucky and Angelina?" Vince frowned, "You know they'd understand. Better than anyone."

"I have Steve, too," Calla swallowed thickly, "I don't...Vince, you're no doubt still safe. You don't live anywhere near us, and work at the library. So, you should be okay. River...River, call me crazy...but...I was thinking...we could live in the Tower. Bucky was going to live there, and Steve lives there, too. Steve says the place stresses him out, but looking for an apartment with him might not be possible right now. That's the only way we'd be safe, is by staying near our boyfriends rather than apart."

"That might be the best case for you guys." Vince said sincerely. "But you should close the shop. Your safety is more important and since they know where you girls work, even more the reason to just close up and give up lease."

"We can work things out tomorrow. We can find a location near the Tower to set up the new shop? They can put surveillance up and monitor our safety while we work, too," Calla hugged River tight, "I don't know...if I can sleep tonight, though. You can go to bed whenever, but I think I'll start packing my room. We have boxes in the storage room to use. I'll try and be quiet. If anything...I'm sure Steve'll understand if I basically show up at his doorstep."

"I'll pack too." River murmured. "We might as well show up at the doorstep together than apart."

"Vince?" Calla sniffed as she looked at their hipster buddy while he pushed his glasses up his nose, "Want to help?"

"I'll help." Vince sighed. "Let's get you all moved."

()

"Of course all I need are three boxes in order to move," Buck grumbled as he stared at his little stack. The third box had been filled mostly with his Christmas gifts, one with bathroom and bedroom things, the other with kitchen stuff as he didn't have anything in the living room that couldn't fit in the previous box. He wasn't taking any furniture, leaving it for Angelina and his bed for whenever he came to stay over.

Turning to his daughter, he could see the war of her emotions playing in her eyes instead of her face. Walking over to her, he knelt down and brought her into a tight hug, "New Year's tomorrow and you get to come to the Tower! If you don't like the party that Tony's throwing then you can always leave to my room, or Steve's okay?" He paused, "Do you just want to come with us now, Angel?" It didn't help either way he thought about it. Leaving her here alone even if Dylan was next door, or having her return to an empty apartment later. At least, if she came with him now then he wouldn't have to think that he was turning his back on her. He hated this. He wanted to just throw everything back where it belonged and stay right here.

Angelina was highly conflicted. On one hand, she wanted to follow her father all the way up to the Tower. She wanted to be by his side and at least try to prolong the goodbye that was surely going to follow. She wished with all her might that she was brave enough to be apart of the Avengers, but she knew that she couldn't do it. She was unpredictable in a battlefield and with the way her mind was, she was more a distraction and a catalyst than any help.

The other hand it was best to cut the goodbye here. It was best to try her hardest to stay strong and brave. They could visit, they could be apart of each other's lives. But his life was going to be with Steve and River. It was always going to be them and she knew that she couldn't deny it.

She wasn't apart of this life and that was okay. That was okay. It had to be.

"I'm going to be okay." She murmured thickly as she pulled away from the tight hug. "You go." She blinked away the tears that threatened to fall on her cheeks. "You deserve this. You always deserved this. Give River and Calla my love. I got their numbers. I have Vince's too. I'll be okay."

"If you have any nightmares, Dylan's right there, and I'm a phone call away," Buck sniffed, cradling Angelina's face in his big hands, "If you want me to come over /anytime/ at all ever, I'm here," he promised and kissed her forehead, "Calla's waiting for me now. I love you /so/ much, fetiță." Standing, he walked over and grabbed his three boxes, balancing them carefully, "Door?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder.

Angelina quickly rushed towards the door and opened it. "I love you too, tată. Visit when you can." She watched him smile, eyes watering and she watched him walk down the hallway. She carefully closed the door behind him, hearing it click and hearing her heart shatter. She wanted to run down the hallway, beg him to rethink. Tell him that River was safe in the Tower, or that she could live here and she'd take the small spare bedroom.

The apartment was large...and deadly silent. She could do whatever she wanted and the freedom made her skin itch, her throat clog and tears fall down her cheeks. She rubbed them away harshly and took in a shuddering breath before breaking down. She crumpled onto the floor and just...

cried.

Cried that she couldn't be with him. Cried that she was so messed up and fucked up that they thought it was safer for her to be a civilian to be in any type of battleground. Cried for the missing years and the time lost. Cried because she wished. She wished, and wished....

And wished.

Realizing with a dreaded panic that she was missing him leaving, she ran towards the balcony and struggled for a moment on getting the sliding door to work, before noticing that it was locked. She ran out onto the balcony and looked at the street below.

Calla was helping Bucky with the boxes and she stood there, death-gripping the railing.

Neither of them noticed her.

She thought about shouting for him to come back.

But she didn't.

She thought about screaming that she loved him.

But she didn't.

She just stood there, numbed and watching as he put the boxes in Calla's car, a sad grin on his face and Calla's sympathetic patting. He looked up and all Angelina could do was blow a kiss.

It wasn't enough..

By god it wasn't enough.

But it had to be.

It just had to be.

About ten minutes after Buck had left and Angelina had all but cried all the tears she could cry, there was a /click/ as the door to her apartment opened. A heavy sigh filled the empty area, and Dylan came around the corner once there was another click to lock it. His expression was sad and sympathetic as he saw her curled up on the couch, "It's a bit cold in here, isn't it?" he asked. Except it wasn't. It was rather warm. That was just the temperature. What he meant by 'cold' was the lack of warmth emotionally. Buck was always such a ray of sunshine no matter where he went.

This...this was a frozen tundra of a home if he ever saw one.

Walking to the counter, where Buck had lined up a slew of scented candles depending on their moods, he figured Angelina didn't want to smell the Apple Cinnamon one and be reminded of her father. Instead, he lit the Winter Berry one and brought it over. It was five o'clock and it was dark outside as if it was nine during the summer hours. None of the lights were on, and that was okay. Placing the candle on the coffee table by the flower vase, he walked into Angelina's room and grabbed her favorite blanket. Returning to her, he wrapped it around her shoulders, but left one side loose. Climbing onto the couch beside her, he pulled the blanket around himself and coaxed Angelina to curl against his chest while he stroked her hair. It was almost like their own little bubble, bathed in the light of the candle, the outside world a moot point.

Angelina leaned against him, leeching off his warmth. Her throat was tight with pleas. She wanted to beg Dylan to not leave her side either. But she also knew that she couldn't demand that of anyone. Not anyone. Her father needed to be elsewhere and...well...she needed to be here.

"I'm a good Companion." She said after a moment, her voice raw and scratchy from her tears. She felt cold, Dylan was right about it being freezing. The soft scent of the candle tried it's best to sooth away the aches and pains, but all she felt was numbed. Dazed. "I'm supposed to follow the Solider, but he's not the Solider anymore and I'm not the Companion." She looked at the candle, watching the darkened room get darker as the sun continued to set. "I...wasn't a good daughter." She shook her head from side to side. "No, not in his eyes. He thinks the world of me. I know. But in my eyes I know better. He needs River...and to start again. That's okay. He deserves to have someone whose not...fragile. It's good. That he has River. I'm glad that he's able to choose. We didn't have choices. We didn't have emotions. They're hard...but good things. Sometimes they act like bad things, but they're still good beneath it all."

She shifted slightly, trying to get some warmth back, trying to wake herself up but she just felt so tired. "He needed a life outside of me. I need to...do something to figure out mine. You said once...that if I came back to you covered in blood you'd still let me in. But will you still care about me?" She looked at Dylan. "Do I have you?"

Dylan's throat caught. He wanted to tell her Buck would rather die than choose between any of those he cares for, that he didn't abandon her and that was the last thing he wanted in the first place. However, that wasn't what she needed right now.

On this, his heart and mind were very clear, and he caressed Angel's cheek, rubbing at the damp skin even if she wasn't crying anymore, "You have me, Angel. I'm here. Even if I'm not /here/ with you physically you know where I am, that I'm always within reach, and I'll always take your hand or offer you mine." He leaned in, kissing her forehead, her cheeks, her nose just to be playful, and then he paused, breath ghosting over her lips. Was this what she wanted? What she needed? A tentative little peck is what he placed on her, testing the waters, seeing if she would recoil. He hoped she didn't. He cared about her, dare he say loved. He never, ever wanted to push at boundaries that should stay uncrossed.

For all the days that she had been trapped in horror with, she was pleased when his kisses made her smile, and the dull numbness recede. When he kissed her carefully on her lips, she froze uncertain like he was uncertain. He loved her, and he didn't want her to feel like she had to do anything. Angelina felt her heart beat a little faster, just a little shy as she cupped his cheek so he wouldn't pull away too far and looked at him.

He loved her. He wanted her to know that she had him in her corner. She was /loved/ and even if the romance died, they would still love each other in a different way. She bravely kissed him back, pressing her lips harder against his in assurance that this was what she wanted and this is what she needed. She pulled away slowly and looked at him. "Thank you," she murmured sincerely. "You have me in your corner too. Whatever you need or want." She pulled away and smiled. "Turning on some lights. It's...too big to have too many lights off. Stay the night? Just tonight. I have a spare room if you don't want to sleep with me."

It was at this moment in time Dylan hated that his 'other' head had a thought instead of his brain. Sleep with or /sleep with/ and he wanted to bang his head against the nearest wall. This was /so/ not the time but he just...found he had really super enjoyed that kiss and wanted more of it. He was a /boy/ for crying out loud and sometimes a quick hand in the shower when your sister was home wasn't enough.

To distract himself since he knew Angel could read him, he scrambled to his feet and went to her bedroom to turn on the light, then he turned the second TV she had for gaming on and brought up Netflix on her X-box. Next, he came out and surprised her by picked up her whole body in a bridal-style, carried her to her bed, and tossed her on it for good measure, laughing lightly at her surprised yip while she bounced. He gave her a quick smirk, left again, and came back with the candle, "Do you want any tea?" he asked, setting the candle on her bedside table, "I'll watch whatever you want tonight."

Angelina grinned brightly, feeling a little better as he distracted her from her mourning. She read his mind, she knew what he wanted from her. But she was a little afraid. Her smile faded a little and murmured, "Tea and talk." She said after a moment. "I...want to be on the same page. We can watch things after."

"Tea and talk. I can do that," Dylan promised, kissing her cheek and scampered off. All she had left for tea were her Russian variety and her normal regular favorites. He'd never tried it with jam but knew the one she had last time that did use it and she'd loved it. So, that one it was. He was very careful with the jam addition, not wanting too much and he was hesitant to taste it to tell if it was too little. Taking a tiny sip after mixing it well, he found it was...alright. Not his type of thing, but he could stand it for testing reasons. A little bit more and boom. By the time he was done with hers, his was done and a few scoops of sugar later he was coming back with two steaming mugs and a bright grin, "I hope I did this to your liking, milady," he cooed and handed hers to her.

Angelina took the tea and inhaled. Zakhar had been spot on with the Russian samples of tea and she had written down her favorites so that she could grab a bigger box of it. She took a sip and smiled brightly. "Perfect." She said as she set it aside so she could take a breath and talk. "You want me." She had a feeling it was overly blunt by the way Dylan suddenly choked and she felt bad. "I'm sorry..."

Dylan had to take a second to compose himself, taking deep breaths and clearing his throat, trying to clear it. Closing his eyes, he had to take one more breath before he looked down at his cup, a frown settling on his face, "It's...been a thought. More than once. I've been...I /like/ to think I've been very good at keeping that in check and private. You...God, Angie..." he closed his eyes again and snorted, "I kinda hate myself for it, if I'm honest. You are sexy to me. In so many ways. Appearance, yes, but your personality, too, of course. I'm not that shallow." He chewed on his bottom lip and fiddled with his cup.

"You were /raped/ for god knows /how/ long by some of the worst people on this planet and here I am, wanting something you probably would never want to give and fuck, I'd never blame you for that. It's totally fine. I mean, there's the internet, I got my hand, and there's toys for dudes, too." One weird night they'd delved into themed-toys from things such as Star Wars (to which she responded with 'oh god Yoda no') and other such things, so he wasn't the least bit embarrassed to mention that sort of stuff, "We don't have to, Angie, ever. I never want to put you through that or have you relive something awful or heaven forbid, hate me..." he was cut off by her sharp tone that made him finally look up at her after staring shamefully at his tea the whole time.

"Stop." Angelina watched him for a moment as he looked at her. "You want me." She repeated, but her voice was soft. "I appeal to you. I...like that I can. Appeal to you. I like that you think I'm sexy. That I'm desirable to you, but not violently." She thought about how she wanted to say this. "I was raped for years and it's still surprising I never was with child. That tată wasn't a bunicuț." She shook her head from side to side. "I like you, practically love you. You like me, practically love me. Surely that means something else. That violence isn't an option here."