Left Behind But Not Forgotten -CW RP

“So what kind of style do you normally go for on good days?” Vince asked as they walked through the girls’ section. He wasn’t shy to help her measure her bust for a correct bra-size since there was only a tape measure at the stand and no one around to help and helped her measure her hips for her underwear which they got a few things of. Now they were in the spot where Vince knew he could be a little more helpful and a little less red.

Angelina looked confounded. “Whatever cheap….”

“Not today. You look like a jeans and shirt kind of girl, but you also strike me as someone that could be a girly-girl if you wanted to be. Have you dressed in anything girlish?” Vince asked.

“Skirts and dresses.” Angelina made a face.

“So we’ll stay way from those. Let’s go to the jeans first, then we’ll go to the shirts. You’ll be surprised. Some of the girl’s shirts are really cute. Though if you’re uncomfortable with the cut or something we can go and explore the boy’s section. I bet you’d be an interesting tomboy wearing all boys clothes and wearing make up.”

“Why does River want me to wear make up?” Angelina asked as she quickened her steps to follow Vince’s long stride. He walked in a brisk pace that could rival her dad’s normal leisure walk.

They stopped at a rack and he hummed as he started looking through the clothes. “River likes make up. She likes being a girl. I think she feels that since you were a victim too, that you need some love and some care. River’s not expecting you to like it. She just…wants to make you happy. Whatever that looks like.”

“Oh.” Angelina watched as Vince held up a few shirts, tilted his head and then went back to looking. “So she wants someone to have fun with?”

“Basically. Calla’s boring. She doesn’t /do/ make up unless its’ for a date. Too much effort, too much hassle. River on the other hand wears make up constantly. So this is for her too to re-buy a make up kit as well so you don’t have to feel like it’s all about you.” Vince assured as he held up a shirt and frowned, “Do you know Harry Potter?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Then we’re keeping this shirt. Oh hey, that reminds me. If you know Harry Potter, what house are you?” He looked at her curiously.

Angelina puffed her chest, “I am a proud Ravenclaw. The long version of the Pottermore test said so. I asked dad the same questions and he got a Hufflepuff.”

“Really…” Vince blinked. “Wait, Ravenclaw? Holy shit, I would’ve thought you to be a Hufflepuff. Or a Gryffindor. You remind me of a Gryffindor.”

“I have Gryffindor tendencies, but I’m a Ravenclaw. I almost got a hat stall. Like Hermione.” Angelina beamed, “She’s my favorite character. She has the best lines. I wish she would have gotten together with Harry.”

“Oh my god or Draco! Ginny and Harry are a disaster of a couple. Harry could’ve been with Luna. I think that would’ve been so damn interesting.” Vince gushed. “Do you like butterflies at all?” He asked as he picked up a shirt.

“Um. I don’t have a preference.”

“We’re doing butterflies. What do you think Steve is?”

“Uncle Steve? Um….From what dad told me, he’s a Slytherin with Gryffindor tendencies.”

“Does Bucky have Gryffindor tendencies?”

“No. He’s a pure Hufflepuff with a Slytherin outlook on things. Only when it comes to Uncle Steve though. He’s Hufflepuff through and through with everyone else.” Angelina assured. “What’s Calla?”

“Calla’s a fucking Gryffindor.” Vince huffed. “I don’t know what River is. I think she’s…no…I know she’s a witch but I can’t…figure out what the fuck she could be.”

Angelina tapped a finger to her chin. “River’s a Hufflepuff.”

“Seriously?” Vince blinked. “Holy…we have a group of Huffles here!”

“Wanda is probably a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff too. Clint is probably one. T’challa is a Ravenclaw and if I had to put my finger on it, Sam would be a Ravenclaw with a hatstall in Gryffindor too.” Angelina nodded.

“Why haven’t I talked to you more when we were in the village?” Vince sighed, “I feel like a complete jackass.”

“We were still recovering.” Angelina reminded. “I was worse off since I didn’t have my dad back.” She bowed her head. “Everything was in chaos. You couldn’t trust me. I certainly couldn’t trust you. But now here we are. We’re not in a safe place, but…I can tell you’re a safe person. You don’t like to mimic people’s powers.”

“Mind-Reading me?”

“….” Angelina bit her lip. “I can’t turn it off. I don’t know how.”

“It’s a little unsettling for someone to have their minds read. I think you surprised the King when you did that to him. It was a little mean of you to declare that he was going to pay for things too. I think he wanted to be charitable. I think he wanted to be quiet and unassuming about it too because he knew Steve would fight him on it. Or at the very least attempt to get him to pay for half.” Vince said quietly. “I know Hydra didn’t teach manners, but…”

“It’s an alert thing.” Angelina shifted. “I can’t stay silent about everything.”

“But you need to learn when you can.” Vince concluded. “I’ll tell you what. I’m giving you a challenge.”

“Huh?”

“You can’t mind read River when you do your girly thing.” Vince told her. “If she thinks of something, ignore it. If you comment on it, you owe me.”

“I…owe you? How? What?”

“Let’s see…you owe me…” Vince thought about it for a moment. “You’d have to cook me something!”

“I have to do what?!” Angelina stared at him in shock and while she was standing there, Vince took that chance to shove some of the clothes that he found into her arms. “What?!”

“Good girl. If you win. I owe you.” He patted her head. “Now go find a dressing room and give me a catwalk.”

“I-I don’t know how! To do any of that. What?!” Angelina stared at him.

“Swing your hips and just walk. Go on.” Vince lightly shoved her towards a dressing room. “Once we finish you up, I’ll go take a swing at myself. You can judge me harshly okay?”

“I don’t…you’re so weird!”

“I know. I’m the King of Weird.”

~

She'd found some clothes easily enough. She knew what she liked so it made it easy to find something and bolt to the changing rooms. Some sizes were marked different here, so she had to eyeball a couple things, but overall she had a good selection to test-drive before she went and looked for more.

It wasn't going to be so easy, though, was it? Calla stared at the changing rooms within the waiting area that was there in case it was a busy day and you had to wait for one to be open. At least she didn't have to grab some number that said how many items she had. Still, the longer she stood staring the more awkward she felt. No one was there, but...gritting her teeth and swallowing, she went and sat on the bench, putting her shirts, pants and shorts beside her so she didn't risk setting anything on fire.

She didn't realize it but she somehow ended up pressed against the wall and it took some willpower to resist bringing her legs up. No people, none of her friends, just her. Of course she couldn't have taken her self-pity and wallowing into one of the stalls. She didn't consider herself claustrophobic, not like River, after that ordeal, but right now she barely handled this.

Calla was breathing heavy and shaking, and she looked at her hands. She was starting to see flickers across the tips and red and orange flecks. There was nowhere to let it go. Had she been at the compound she could've taken a look at that indoor pool. It was what she did at the Atrum village, letting it flow out into the water and make nice warm steam. She could control the flow of it and take her time. Right now it felt like she was a ticking time-bomb and she didn't know what to do. She only knew that she had to be calm or it would spiral, but she didn't want to be here. She didn't...she felt the tears of frustration drip off her eyelashes instead of roll down her cheeks and she gripped her hands into fists. Damn it. That was the last thing she wanted, besides her powers going wonky. Crying. She hated crying.

Steve wandered towards the dressing rooms now that he knew that his friends were probably going to meet him there. Bucky was overtaken by River and Angelina was being guided by Vince. As amusing as it was, it was quite boring since he didn't have anything to do and he knew River and Angelina would be joined at the hip afterwards. He saw something from the corner of his eye and he noticed Calla was bunched up in a ball in a corner. Her clothes were laying next to her, and she looked like she was about to cave. He been there too many times. He walked over and carefully sat down next to her. "Too much?"

Head whipping up, Calla blinked at him, a few more tears dropping. Clearing her throat, she shifted and tucked her hands again, "You could say that." She cleared her throat again, trying to get rid of the hitch in her voice, "Nowhere for my powers to go. This happens randomly, as far as I've figured out. A whole week can slip by or just a day before I need to...literally cool my jets. Cooking food in the jungle, then they had some springs back at Nyah's and Draco's village. I was kinda excited to try the pool Wanda told us about." She sniffed as another unwanted tear slipped down and she swiped at it, frowning deeply.

"It's a gorgeous pool. I don't use it much, but it's nice to walk in and look." Steve said quietly. "Is there anything I can do for you? I can't give you a place to unwind from, but...I could give you a distraction."

"You could...try, I guess. No harm in that, right?" Calla wiped her eyes a bit more thoroughly, "I'm sorry. This isn't the best first impression. I'm being...such a downer. It's supposed to be a fun time. Vince knows...that's why he sat with Angel. I didn't want him to mimic me on accident, not when it's like this. That could've been awful."

Steve nodded and shook his head after a moment, "You're not being a downer. To be honest, I was expecting Angel to have cracked. Or River to be here instead. I might've not been expecting you, but...I was expecting someone to not feel up to the shopping trip. And that's okay."

"Vince and I...we gotta be the strong ones, ya?" Calla laughed a little hallow, "River's our Bucky." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, "I kinda read up on why you're here and not in America. Learned about the Accords, other things I couldn't have learned about while with the Atrum. You set the world you knew on fire to protect him. If he's having a good day, you'd do your best and bend over backwards to make sure it's one of his best days. Vince and I are like that with River."

"River was the one that was hurt the most." Steve said softly, "So you two take it upon yourselves to make sure that you don't show you're hurting too. I get that. Bucky calls me a moron for doing it though, he gets upset. But, I know the feeling."

It was surprising to her, but Steve had that sort of voice that was just the right tone it was soothing. "Tell me how you plan to spoil Angel once River's done her work."

"Hm. I think the ice cream idea was a good one." Steve nodded to himself, "I don't know if she's ever tried it. Then I'd like to see what she wants to do for fun. Maybe get her into a hobby like drawing, or sewing, or something so that the compound won't feel so suffocating for her. I think I'll ask her interests and see if there's anything that goes with mine, or if it's something new that I'm willing to try. I think she might be someone that plays video games. I'm certain that she has a hand-held device since I know that she didn't have consoles back at her home. She probably doesn't have the patience for long games like that."

He...had a sort of accent. A rumble and it made the tension in her shoulders drop the longer he went on. The affection was evident, and he had obviously given it plenty of thought. "She's not going to know what to do with herself with all this attention. I don't think Bucky will, either."

Steve chuckled. "Bucky never knew how to deal with it. He always got flustered. Normally it was the other way around. He'd spoil me and take me out to do things. Usually it included a disaster of a double date, but...the thought was what counted...sometimes."

"We're all just a disaster of a group." Calla smiled at him, and this time it wasn't so strained, "He seemed pretty taken with River. He even tried to keep the mood light, and went it came to splitting up, he went with her. I think it's kinda cute, but also that part of me is feeling protective. I didn't think River'd let another guy besides Vince near her in a long time. She certainly didn't let Draco get too close." She let him figure that out for what it was.

Steve leaned back and he took a breath in and let it out slowly. "My observation is that River and Angel went through the same terrible things...and Bucky has an idea of it because he went through the same thing in order to get Angel. He never told me about her mom...I can assume enough just from that. And the marks on Angel's body...and some of the things he told me about her only help with the idea that she too went through it."

"Sometimes I feel like I got too lucky." Calla admitted to him, looking down at her knees. "My powers came on quickly, and the scientists were more interested in experiments rather than that. I know Vince wanted to go out of his way to go after the ones who hurt her, but I made him just focus on getting out."

"That was how Bucky was when I wanted to go after them for what they did." Steve said softly. "I don't think there's a such thing as "too lucky". We're all left with scars. Some more, some less. But that doesn't make it any less real."

It went quiet for a moment, but the silence didn't last as soft laughing reached their ears. River and Bucky came stumbling in, piles of clothes in two separate baskets. Calla blinked at them and Steve straightened up. "I feel inadequate. I only grabbed maybe six things. Did you two grab the whole store?"

"They're robbing it." Steve grinned.

The thickness of the air wasn't lost on Bucky, and he arched a brow at Steve, before looking at River, "We kept talking and didn't really pay attention to how much we had. Half of it is different sizes."

"What he said. Calla I need your help." River said, going over to Calla and gesturing to the bigger dressing room. "I hate having my red hair, I wish it was back to purple. So I'm stuck not knowing what'll look good. Bucky picked out my pile. But I need a better judge."

"I remember what worked. Leave it to the painter." Calla smiled reassuringly, gathering up her small stack.

"What? Painting? Steve!" Bucky gaped at his blond friend, "Someone you can talk colors to!"

Steve just smiled as Calla and River walked off. "I don't really talk about colors anymore but that's alright. Do you need help?" He looked at the pile Bucky had. "River went all out on you didn't she?"

"Yeah, she did. It was kinda funny, I was staring at a rack and she talked to me like I shouldn't hang out with some horrible group of people or something. 'Get away from those'!" He chuckled and motioned to one of the stalls, "You think we can both fit? I think the girls took the biggest one."

"We might be a little cramped, but we dealt with worse. The pregnant rollerskate." Steve walked into one with him and he smiled. "It's nice to see that you and River are getting along. Calla was worried. River doesn't usually hang out with guys unless they're Vince."

"I got that feeling. The two of them tensed when I sat with her." Bucky murmured with a nod, setting the basket down in the corer and started to strip so he could try on his selection, deciding to start with figuring out his size before he worried about style. "I'm kinda surprised. I think you're finally learning how to talk to women yourself."

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Hang around Nat long enough and she starts trying to set you up with every person she knows."

"Hmm...Natalia. Fuck, I have to apologize to her, if I see her again. I remember choking her. I couldn't stop." Buck ran his hand over his face before he shook it generously. "No. Good day. No talking about that sort of thing. Let's just figure out this mess here, huh?" he found a pair, looked at the size and then tried to shuffle into them. He didn't have enough evidence to really tease Steve, anyway.

With Calla and River, Calla knew she'd been caught just by how calm River was. She knew she'd made her upset, however. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything." She decided to just be forward.

"Why didn't you?" River asked as she hugged her best friend and let her go. "You should've told me. We could've arranged for another time, or we could've left you behind. I know your sizes alright. I could've guessed. Or we could have planned another trip. Should we do that? Should we go ahead and skip the rest of the day and return home after this? I don't think anyone will mind."

"No, River. No." Calla shook her head and hugged her tightly back. "You're having a good time. Bucky looked like that ice block he's put himself in is thawing. Angel isn't so fidgety and Vince is relaxing. I don't want to ruin this. Steve...he helped. It's just...my powers..." she pulled away and offered her hands, "It hasn't been a problem until now, I didn't have to say anything to you. That's why I told Vince to move. I feel like being in crowds is dangerous...and that stress is making me freak out and it's a cycle, ya know?"

"I could use some of my water powers...we could make a mist or something..." River bit her inner cheek.

"You think...that could work?" Calla was a bit hopeful, "If I can just...not enough to set of any fire alarms or anything, but just...to get rid of this pressure would clear my head. I could try to enjoy myself with you guys."

River stepped a few steps back and took a breath in and started gathering water from the atmosphere. Not a lot since they didn't want to soak the room, but enough so that Calla could use some of her power to create a steam.

River didn't like using her power, so Calla did her best to be quick about it. She let the fire take over her hands, and formed a fire-ball between them and fed into it, letting the mist surround it and disperse and then then trying to feed it again. There was a quiet /'the hell'/ in the background an she figured it was Bucky before an /'oh'/ reached her ears, so Steve must've assured him it was fine. When Calla let the fireball go out completely, River let up on the mist as well and she cleared it away with a wave of her hand. She felt...lighter. Her fingers didn't tingle and her head wasn't pounding with the pressure of holding back. Reaching out she hugged River again, "Thank you."

"Ah the memories of when I got shoved head first into a hot spring." Vince said sarcastically. "Those were the days."

"Vince!" Calla laughed freely and lighthearted, "If you give me a minute I can show you one of the outfits I grabbed! I don't have half the store like River and Bucky."

"Okay." Vince said as he looked over at Angel and gestured for her to go ahead without him. He waited and when Calla came out, he whistled. "Nice pick."

It was a simple outfit, like what she used to wear back home. A loose white top with long shoulder frills and lace along the hems, with a pair of light blue denim shorts, sandals strapped to her feet. "I got yoga pants and capris and a few different shirts like this one." She added, walking over to Vince and throwing her arms around his neck. "Might need yours and River's expertise to find something new and exciting. I'm sorry about earlier."

"Don't be sorry, I'm glad you're alright." Vince said as he hugged her tightly and let her go. "I think I have Angel all figured out so she can return home to her daddy duck's side. So I guess that means we can steal River back until you two decide to go off and steal Angel again so you can have your girl's night."

"Day Vince. It's still morning." River called from the changing room.

"Would you laugh at me if I suggested a mani/pedi to follow that statement?" Calla grinned at Vince. "We're definitely hitting the hair salon, River wants her purple back. Think I should go for blue again or leave it black? Either way I need a better trim and so does River."

"Go for the blue. You'll bring more life to your face." Vince nodded, "A trim would do you two wonders. And I knew one of you was going to go all out. Well. As long as you let Riv have her fun first with the make up I'm sure she'll let you do what you want. I can entertain the super soldiers. God knows Steve and Buck might try to corner me anyway. We were categorizing them into Potter houses earlier."

"Oh /god/, of course! Did you tell Angel I was a Gryffindor and River was a Ravenclaw?" Calla laughed.

"River's a Ravenclaw? Seriously?" Vince blinked a few times. "Angelina was damned certain she was a Hufflepuff and I had no idea. I knew you were Gryffindor though."

"River likes riddles...I might be the one who's wrong. Hmm." Calla tapped her chin, "Anyway, I should change. I'm feeling so much better...I gotta thank Steve later somehow. He kept me sane until River was able to help me."

"Spoil his niece like you're planning to and I think he'll call it even." Vince grinned, "But good job, Calla."

"Good job for what? The clothes?" she blinked, confused.

"For handling yourself, for being strong." Vince gestured for her to go on. "You want to change quickly so that you can start on that girl's day you two want to have so badly."

"Right, yeah." Calla hugged him again, and disappeared back into River's stall.

~*~

The girls browsed around the make up store and the boys had went off to do something else. Nyah was content to follow them as well as Calla since she would get her chance in a moment, so it was only the two of them. River already knew her basics, so she went through grabbing her things first without little to no thought, really happy that there were drug store prices for some of the make up that she was getting. She limited herself to a budget so that she didn’t go too overboard and would give room to spoil Angelina a bit since she needed something as a beginner.

First thing was first and that was the make up counter with the free samples. It was easy to swatch for foundation since Angelia was so damn pale, her foundation could be /white/ and no one would ever guess. However, River frowned upon that since Angelina was already ghostly looking save for her freckles and decided that some color was needed in order to freshen her up. Eyeliner was out of the question to sample since it could easily be contaminated, but River knew already what kind of eyeliner Angelina should get.

Angel was very quiet as River put together a basic everyday look from the samples that was on the counter. Foundation was done and the fishing powder was spread all over her face. River muttered something about liking natural finishing powders better, but she didn’t comment, keeping her promise so she didn’t have to cook something for Vince.

“Why that?” She asked after a moment, pointing at a neutral brown eyeshadow that River had grabbed.

River paused. “Do you want to do color instead? Blue could look pretty or a nice purple.” She offered lightly looking at her curiously. “Browns are the go-to for all eye color sometimes. They’re easier to do a natural look with than say a color.”

Angelina let her hand down and River watched her for a long moment and looked back at the browns in thought before putting them away. Angelina blinked and watched as River started finding some other colors instead. A light blue that wasn’t too pastel or glittery, a soft purple and a shade darker of the purple. She carefully swatched it on her hand and placed it up against Angelina’s eyes before nodding. “Color.” River said after a moment and dropped her hand. “You have natural brown hair right?”

“Um…yes.” Angelina nodded, tugging at the strands of the white. “Now it’s white. It was getting back.”

“Then everything went to hell,” River clicked her tongue. “My hair used to be purple, but it faded back into my red.”

“I don’t like your red.” Angelina pursed her lips together.

River laughed, “Yeah i hate my red too. Vince hated it. Everyone hates it.” She agreed. “I look like I’m trying to hard to be ginger. My complexion just /pales/ and then I look /sick/ and even with make up on I get asked if I’m feeling alright.”

“Annoying,” Angelina muttered.

“Yeah.” River picked out a sweet peach blush and she carefully placed it against Angelina’s eye. “So we could go a light pink or a peach. Either way, it shouldn’t be used on your cheeks, but towards the apples of your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Brightens and freshens. Makes you look just a little younger.” River explained as she set the blush down and started hunting for a lipstick and found a shade. “Perfect. Okay close your eyes. I promise I’ll keep talking to you as I do this.”

“Okay.” Angelina closed her eyes and she felt River lean in and started to apply the eyeshadow. “Why do you like make up?”

“I don’t know. When I was a teen it was to hide all the acne problems I had, and now that I’m older it’s so much a habit that if I don’t wear make up I feel a little nude.” River huffed a laugh. “I had horrible, horrible acne problems and they left some scarring. Not enough to be too noticeable, but if I poke at it I can find them.”

“Oh.” Angelina murmured. “I have scars on my face too.”

“Not too noticeable. I’m not trying to make you feel insecure.” River pulled away and hummed. “I just want you to feel…less like a solider I guess. You were so tense when you came to us and you didn’t really relax till your dad was home and safe. I guess I’m just…hoping to give you something that you never had.”

“Tată doesn’t know makeup.” She confessed, swinging her legs on the stool as River leaned back in again. “So he couldn’t help if I wanted to. I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

“Which is why we’re doing this.” River said kindly. “Only if you want to. I can make you up a kit easy. The only thing I’d need you for is color preference, and foundation but that’s it. You don’t even have to stay in the store if you feel too self-conscious.”

This was kindness. Angelina smiled delicately. “You went through a lot.”

River paused.

“You’re still kind.”

A soft laugh that could be mistaken for a sigh.

“I like that.” Angelina continued. “I like that you didn’t lose that.”

“Thank you.” River said softly. “That’s sweet of you. You’re kind too. So I guess you never lost that either. Okay done with that eye, let’s do the next. What do you like to do?”

“Huh?”

“For fun. What do you like to do?”

“Um…I found a broken 3DS and I fixed it. The games glitch, but I like playing games. I like RPG and platformer games.” Angelina said after a moment. “I…liked going through the junkyard and finding things to make. I like playing with Precious.”

“You like games? Have you heard of Pokemon?”

“No…”

“Oh man you’re missing out!” River gushed happily. “Oh, after the salon I’m sure I’m going to have to track down Vince in a bookstore. We’ll find you a game for the DS that you can play that we both like and can introduce it to you. I wish I had my phone…pokemon Go was the best thing.”

“Pokemon go?”

“Yes! They did the first generation first, and now the second generation is all over the place. I bet I could find a whole bunch living here.” River grinned. “Hopefully if T’Challa remembers to get us a phone, I’ll download it and we’ll play together. I still have an account, and you’ll be way behind but I’ll catch you up in no time. You can open your eyes now.”

Angelina’s eyes fluttered open and River looked pleased and started working on the blush. She didn’t load too much onto the brush, and she tapped it on her wrist before she carefully swept it across Angelina’s face. “It’s a mindless game, you don’t have to put too much thought into it. Just know what goes against what and you’re good. Vince and I used to collect the cards too. Well…we built a deck and we’d used to go around fighting gyms.”

“What?”

“Yeah. There’s places and cities that have gyms. If Vince and I saved up enough money and there was a gym we didn’t beat yet, we went off to beat the gym when it was time for battles. We were nuts.” River laughed.

“Tată would think you’re strange.” Angelina admitted.

“We were. Are.” River snickered as she finished the blush and started working on the lips. Mascara could wait for now. “Vince told me that you think I’m a Hufflepuff.”

“Are you?”

“I’m a Ravenpuff. I can’t decide between the two and I fluctuate too much between to even consider picking.” River laughed sheepishly. “That’s why I don’t have an official account. I don’t want to choose between the two and the long test doesn’t make you chose.”

“So you could be in tată’s house. Or in mine.” Angelina gaped at her. “That’s so cool.”

“Is it?” She asked modestly. “I just think I’m too indecisive. I don’t have enough back bone. Okay, last thing before we’re done and we can start working on the kit…if you want it.”

“…Will you show me how to do the things?” Angelina gestured to her face.

“I can show you a lot more than just the things.” River promised. “But yes. I can.”

“…I don’t think I’ll mind that.” She said quietly. “I never had a chance before.”

“Well.“ River uncapped the mascara and started working on Angelina’s eyes. She pursed her lips together, clearly not pleased with what was said. “Now you do. You look pretty. Are you sure you want to come to the salon with us?”

“I want to do something about my hair.” Angelina tugged on the strands and River was thinking about how young Angelina was. She reminded herself to stay quiet. Vince and cooking.

“As long as it’s something you want to do,” River said after a moment. “Then I’m fine with it. Calla wants to do nails too while we’re there. Is that…okay?”

“That’s fine.” Angelina smiled. “It’ll be fine.”

“Okay. If it’s too much, we can always do this another time. Another day.” River promised. “You won’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Okay?”

“Okay!”

~*~

Calla fluffed her hair, the raven black shining in the sunlight and catching the watery blue as it flipped upwards. "Ah! This feels so much better!" She bounced over and fluttered River's, "Look at you, too!"

River had gotten a trim and had gotten her violet purple hair back in the process. She smiled brightly as Calla played with her hair. "I look normal don't I?" She teased her friend. "No longer an alien."

"It looks better than the red." Angelina agreed, shifting nervously. She had decided that yes, she was going to dye her hair and now that her hair was no longer white she was a little concerned on her father's reaction. But she shoved it aside. "I like your hair too Calla. You look pretty."

"Thank you! Ah, man I can't wait to see Steve's reaction. Vince is gunna be so happy to see your hair purple, River." Calla grinned. "I'm happy about my nails, too! That mani/pedi was /fantastic/. I'll be able to really scratch my hair, now. What did you think, Angel? It wasn't too stressful when they were pushing your cuticles in was it? It's always kinda painful to me, I am sensitive."

"I didn't notice, but I like what she did." She looked down at her nails. Hers was painted with a white background and as a detail there were small pink flowers that were painted on. Her toes didn't have paint on them since she wore sneakers, but she was happy to get the massage and other things that went with it. "It was weird, but gentle. I wasn't used to that. I thought it'd be painful."

Calla's nails didn't have any decals on them, but they were a blue base with black tips, the paint shimmering and glossy. They reminded her of the night sky. Her toes were just painted with a black base and a blue shimmer on top. She wore sandals enough for it. "My toes are going to look like this for a month." She joked with a laugh, "We should find everyone. Vince will be the easiest."

"Vince is going to be in a bookstore," River snorted, "But I think the guys will probably be doing something else." She turned to Angel. "Come with us to the bookstore and we'll stop by a game shop real fast to get you a Pokemon game. Then we'll find the guys."

Angel's eyes widened a little. "You meant that?"

"Yes." River beamed and turned to Calla. "Let's find the biggest bookstore. Vince will most likely be in that one."

After a bit of wandering, they managed to find their entourage. In fact, they were all at the bookstore because while T'Challa's library was vast, there were some things you could only find in a place like this. More specific searching to fit their tastes. Bucky was at the checkout with Steve showing him the sci-fi books he'd discovered with a wide smile when he looked over at the entrance. The smile dropped from his face, being taken over by shock, and he gaped. "Angel love?"

Steve looked over to see what Bucky was gasping about and also stared in surprise. She...didn't look like Angel at all. The first name that stuck to his tongue was "Allison". The second name that he thought of was "Rebecca", Bucky's sisters. But they weren't alive anymore and she was smaller than they were. Allison wouldn't wear her hair down to save anyone's life and Rebecca kept hers in either a braid or a ponytail and maybe that was why it threw Steve off. Since Angel's hair was wavy, he immediately thought of a braid. Her make up was done nicely too, it wasn't overly done. It was natural. It made the sunken sockets disappear, her lips moist and instead of looking cold and chipped there was a girlish innocence that River managed to accomplish.

The childish innocence and the pleading eyes struck him for a memory. When he first found her, all those years ago when she was only five. He'd blown up a building and he'd protected her. She was an orphan and her eyes had held so much trust and curious wonder that he wasn't able to let her go. Neither of them knew she was his daughter at the time, either, but he'd crouched over her and stroked her cheek while he said, "<Everything is fine, my little Anzehlina.>"

Angel's heart skipped. She didn't remember a lot of her childhood. But she remembered a man who shielded her from a bomb who gave her a name. She smiled happily and hugged him. "<I'm glad you like it. I was afraid you wouldn't.>"

Steve rolled his eyes fondly. They were speaking in another language again. "You look real nice Angel. I think I like the brown more than white myself too. It makes you look healthier."

His voice stuck for a moment as he came back to himself from the memory, and hugged Angel back before looking at Steve, "Didn't...didn't Rebecca have freckles, too? I wouldn't be surprised if you said she looked like her."

"Yeah. Beck's had freckles. She looks so much like both of them, I don't even know who she looks like more." He admitted, but he grinned brightly. "But there's no doubt in my head that she's your kid, now that she looks the way she does. It's clear as day."

"Even after I was frozen, and didn't see her again until she had white hair, her eyes always stayed the same. I never minded about her hair, I was just sad that she was getting color back and then all this happened. I do like it." Bucky kissed the top of her head, sniffing just a bit before pulling away. "I like the shade of brown. It's lovely."

Calla smiled at River and gave her a nudge, "Now we've seen what they thought, let's go find Vince."

"You really made your hair purple?" Bucky asked before they could run away and disappear. He wasn't about to let them think they were forgotten.

"Huh?" River nearly tripped since she had made a move to start heading off to find Vince. "Yes!" She grinned as she combed her hair with her fingers. "It's a lot better looking on me than the red is. I look awful with it. This makes me feel more human, if it makes sense. Angel wanted to go with a more natural look, it surprised us a bit. We thought she'd go a little wilder. But...she looks good. You both look real good together. Kinda like a picture."

"You're going to give Steve ideas. He's got a phone and he knows how to use it." Bucky smiled at River. He hadn't realized Steve'd gone ahead and payed for the books when he got his bag handed to him, "Ah...thanks."

"I do have a phone and I do want to use it." Steve confessed. "But I can wait for a photo shoot later." He smiled at Calla. "You look good too, Cal. A lot better than you were earlier. I'm glad."

Heart fluttering in her chest, Calla's cheeks turned red and she brought her hair over her shoulder by running her fingers through it, "It's like getting a piece of ourselves back, honestly. I can't wait until after a week of using proper shampoo and conditioner, and it goes back to it's normal volume."

"When you want to let your hair back normal on your own accord, you can probably try dying it a different /shade/ of red, rather than letting it go orange." Bucky offered River, joining her side since they didn't need to be standing in line anymore.

"I don't think I look good in red no matter the color, if I'm honest." River said with a small smile. "But I'll keep that in mind when I feel like red isn't a mortal enemy. I'm glad you like the purple though. I can tell you were a little surprised by that."

"I bet," Steve grinned. "And to have clothes that fit. I know that makes you feel nice in all kinds of ways. It's a lot better than to wear something uncomfortable."

"Yeah. It looks good, matches your skintone nice. Going off of what Steve said, I like your sense of style, too. When you bring it all together you make it work." Bucky nodded, "I saw you like sugar skulls? Some of your clothes have it, or those 'cute' skulls with the bows. Not quite gothic."

Calla liked it when he smiled like that. Spending time with just Bucky in a calm environment gave him an easier set to his shoulders. "Yeah. I've always been more of a bohemian type of girl. I don't need tight cloths to show off my figure. I can just wear poofy tops that show my mid-drift or something. I'm also happy I have a proper swimsuit now, too."

"I like wearing black and other kinds of clothes like that yes." River gave a bright smile. "I finally found dark purple and black lipstick here, so I can go all out if I want to. I used to be much worse in high school. I did the whole horror-show." She laughed shaking her head. "But I did ease up on it a little. Sugar skulls and cute skeletons are my thing yes."

"You'll be able to swim," Steve nodded and shook his head. "Yeah I don't see how today's clothes are comfortable. It took me a while to get used to them. The largest size sometimes is too small on me no matter what I do."

"I have...vague memories of being unfrozen during the Grunge Era? And the Hippy Era...I didn't say around long during that one, I think they thought I wouldn't blend in very well." Bucky admitted while rubbing the back of his neck.

"You and Bucky are mountains. I am not surprised." Calla rounded the corner and read the plaques on the edge that said what genre was where, and peeked around the Fiction Fantasy plaque. Dungeons and Dragons were Vince's calling, she would swear that one up and down. "I found him!" she grinned and pointed.

"Huh?" Vince looked over and blinked. "Hey look at you! You look like you're actually Calla and River again." He placed the book back on the shelf and briskly walked over so he could give Calla a happy hug and give River one as well. He blinked when he saw Angelina. "Whoa."

Angelina's cheeks flushed. "I did what I promised. You owe me now."

"I'll have to ask Riv, but..." Vince looked at her curiously. "You don't look like someone from a horror movie. I'm a little shocked."

"What did you two bet on?" Bucky blinked at them, highly confused.

"She couldn't mind read River. Or if she did, she couldn't comment or say something about it." Vince explained.

"Oh so that's why...." River frowned at Vince. "She didn't say anything weird or anything that my thoughts were going so she did win." She concluded. "But don't make that kind of bet with her, Vin. She can't control her powers. That's like telling me to use mine. It could've been very damaging."
"What were the stakes?" Bucky patted Angel's head to show her she did a good job for beating the game, even if he did somewhat agree with River.

"If she lost she had to cook me something, if she won I owe her." Vince explained.

"Cook...cook?! Why of all things did you ask her to cook for you?" he stared at him. "She can cook to an extent but just.../why/?"

"Confused Bucky is confused." Calla giggled.

"Because I like/he likes food." River and Vince said together at the same time. River pinching the bridge of her nose.

"He's kind of a connoisseur." Calla agreed with them, "I wouldn't call him a glutton, but he does like trying things others make. He has favorite foods from either of us." She motioned between herself and River.

"He thinks food is a way to understand someone's personality and culture." River continued. "So, there's that too. But Angel won," She turned to Vince. "Which means I know exactly what you owe her."

"And....what do I owe her?" Vince took a subconscious step back.

"A pokemon game. She has a 3DS and has /no/ idea what that is." River beamed. "I told her all about it."

"Oh...good. I thought for a moment there I was going to fear for my life." Vince let out a relieved sigh.

"River knows how to play his tune, doesn't she?" Steve muttered to Calla.

Calla giggled, "We've been together since high school, we're all roughly the same age at 24 with just a couple months between us. I'm June, Vince is August and she's October."

"I'm an August child too." Angelina beamed proudly. "That's so cool."

"No wonder you two hit it off so well." Bucky teased a bit. "Anyway...are you guys all done with what you had to do?"

"Actually...I wanted to ask T'Challa if it would be okay to go one more place before we head back. I asked a local where I could find a yarn store," Calla turned to River, "You sewed at the village, but wouldn't it be nice if you could get back into your cross-stitching and crochet?"

"That's...yes." River smiled warmly. "That'd be wonderful. So we'll meet you back at the jet?" She asked, turning to Vince. "Are you going to be okay alone?"

"I'll go with." Steve said with a shrug. "Buck, you should have fun learning how to knit again. They probably have yarn there that's soft."

"I'm good for that on this tip, Steve." Bucky told him gently, "I've already got myself loaded with clothes and books. I don't think I need to overdo it right now."

Calla tapped her chin and looked at Vince before she went and put her hand on Angelina's shoulder, "We can steal Angel along with us. I don't want to get a whole lot, just some starting yarn for some blankets or something."

"What do you do?" Bucky tilted his head.

"I knit. I can't be bothered keeping track of my chains with crochet." Calla laughed a bit embarrassed.

Steve laughed lightly. "I don't know how you guys keep track of all the different kinds of stitches." He teased, before shrugging and looking at Vince. "Shall we go ahead and go?" He looked at Bucky. "Come along with us. We'll let the girls have their fun again. It'll be a quick stop. I'm /still/ trying to get used to how quickly games and console changes."

"Meet us at the ice cream parlor down the street! I saw it while we were trying to find this place." Calla grinned, taking Angel's hand and laughing, dragging the girl with her back through the bookshelves towards the front.

~*~

"So, what did you get?" Nyah asked as they settled at an ice cream shop. The locals were a little confused as to /why/ their King would be sitting at their ice cream parlor, but they treated him like a normal guest which was lovely. She dipped her spoon into her treat as she watched Angelina talk about what River did for her, what Calla got for her at the craft store -a couple of coloring books and a few colored pencils as well as some hooks for herself in case she wanted to learn- and Vince's gift for beating him at a bet, a game. She enjoyed the light that was brought into the girl's eyes and concluded firmly that yes, healing her would damage her as she already thought. There was no need to continue second-guessing.

"What about you?" Angelina asked, as she happily dug into her own treat, which was mint chocolate chip ice cream. Steve got Vanilla with Bourbon in it and allowed Angelina to try it. The face she made was hysterical. "What did you and King T'Challa do while we were running around?"

T'Challa had gotten a rocky road for his ice cream, "We talked about the Atrum, and what we could do to reinstate the treaty when we returned. We also discussed the mental state of everyone throughout the day. While we may not have been seen or interacted from time to time, we were there and we were watching. We have been lucky that today was a good day. Tomorrow might not be. We need to start preparing for that."

"What's your thoughts?" River asked, a little fearful. "I mean. Are...are we doing okay?"

Nyah shook her head from side to side. "Today? You all were doing okay." She assured. "What T'Challa is merely trying to say is that today was a leap for a few of you. This is a new situation. This is a new environment. I already told him who I believed might have a hard time tomorrow, or the next few days. But that doesn't mean I am declaring a death sentence."

Angelina had a feeling she was on that list. In fact, she was right on top of it, besides her father and River. Calla almost, but who knew. It was a maybe. Probably because of the suana thing that happened. Instead of commenting on it, she ate another bite.

"We simply need to take it step by step." T'Challa assured, "It is better to be prepared than to be too lax and things go wrong. I am glad we are returning back after this."

"It's been quite an eventful day." Nyah looked pleased. "But I think I know what to do now." She looked at Bucky. "Later tonight. May I speak with you alone?"

He knew it'd round back to him somehow. He'd been waiting for it. "Yeah. Of course. You're my healer, so if you got something in mind, I'll listen."

()

It was like Steve said. The pool was stunning. It was much longer and larger than the springs at the Atrum village, and she’d already exhausted herself doing about five laps across the entire thing. She felt out of shape, but that was bogus. The thing was just giant. Vaguely she wondered how many laps he could do, with his super soldier serum driving him on.

It was quiet. Just her as she stared up at the high ceiling, floating on her back. She had let her powers flow freely, causing a bunch of steam earlier, and that might have also been why she got tired so quickly. It had been a long day. The steam had long since cleared away, too. Cerulean blue eyes closed and it was impossible to ignore the stark contrast of the hot tears that slipped out the corners against her cold skin. A hitching sob made her jerk and she sank into the water after taking a deep breath. The pool had a deep end, so she swam to it and went as far as she could before turning around and wrapping her arms around herself.

She had already cried today. She didn’t want to. Yet what was holding her back? It was safe here. River was fine. It was okay if she wanted to curl up on the pool tiles and cry. It was /okay/.

That was the thing though, wasn’t it? It wasn’t despair, it wasn’t the threat she could blow up and hurt someone. It wasn’t worry about her friend. She wasn’t particularly sad. In fact, she was happy. Then why was she wanting to cry?

It was relief. Plain and simple. She /could/ let go. No one would think anything less of her.

Lungs burning, her body jerking with the want to let out the cries, eyes stinging even under the water, Calla finally kicked from the bottom of the pool and broke the surface with a gasp, sucking the air she’d released back into her lungs. She was lightheaded from oxygen deprivation, but she managed to swim to the edge. That was when she noticed she wasn’t alone after all. Steve was standing in a pair of swim trunks and her mouth went dry at the sights of washboard abs and mile long legs, strong broad shoulders and the curved jut of his hipbones. What caught her real attention, though, was the relief on his face, “How long you been there?” she asked, her voice a bit raw.

(long enough to wonder if she was actually going to come up for air)

"Enough to think about diving in after you." Steve said and he walked over and sat down on the edge. He placed his feet into the water, but he didn't slip himself in. Not yet. "I got worried when I saw you at the bottom, but I know that training for breath work is a thing-" he cut himself off. "But I also know what it's like to just...let the water take your emotions away too."

Trying to haul herself out of the pool, she only succeeded in the top half of her body before everything just flew from underneath her and she crumbled. She held onto the edge and hissed breath through her teeth. Shit. "What if there's nothing left to take away?" she asked, voice high with emotion. She blinked and the tears she tried to be rid of earlier came rushing forward, feeling like they were scalding her cheeks. "Is relief reason enough to bawl like a baby?"

Steve doubted that she would want him to touch her right now, and he doubted that if he acknowledged that she was crying she'd open up. "I think so. I'm not much of a crier. I tend to bottle my emotions up, Bucky's the one with the water-faucet. But, I've cried from relief before. Relief I wasn't dead the next day. Relief that my mother wasn't dead yet when she was suffering from TB. Relief that I finally had a job and I could scrape together money to keep myself afloat for however long. Once Bucky was generous to me about staying with me after my mom died. I cried in private...but it made me so happy that I wasn't going to be alone. I wasn't going to die alone." He shrugged. "Back then I had different issues. Lately? Now? I haven't had a chance to be that relieved. So, if you're that relieved that you're burdens are so light you can cry in joy, I think you should take that chance. Sam would say it's stupid not to."

Calla watched him, how tense his body was and he kept his arms firmly at his sides. As the tears fell without much prompt, she wondered if he was so worried about her not wanting him to touch her, or if he was the one who was untouchable. Sniffling, she rubbed her eyes, "I'm sorry about earlier on the jet, and the fitting room. I'm not a standoffish person. I like being touched, and I don't have any reason to fear anyone like River does. I was just afraid of hurting you." Sniffing again, she looked down at the tiles, "I could use some help outa the pool, for real. I did five laps back and forth, and that was after letting my powers go."

"Oh..." Steve quickly got to her side and hauled her up and helped her steady herself. "Are you going to be alright?" He asked after a moment. "It's okay. Not a lot can hurt me. I heal pretty fast."

"Yeah, but there's pain in the moment, isn't there? Brushing it off doesn't change the fact that it hurts." Calla said point-blank, and looked up at him. His strength was an obvious point, but he was so gentle with her, her body warming and tingling where he touched her and she felt her body sag against his, exhausted and her shoulders shook as she cried a bit more. She didn't say anything else, just let this hulking man hug her and sooth her. She really owed him this time.

~*~

Vince couldn't sleep. His mind just wouldn't turn off. He walked the length of the compound, careful when he was by a door because he didn't know if someone was sleeping or how heavily they did sleep. He didn't go to the pool room, he didn't have a reason to be there since River was in her room working on a crochet doll for Angel. He found that a little amusing...and a little saddening.

He shouldn't be sad though. River was improving. But what did that mean for him? His mind made him think back to the fire and water ball that he and Calla created together. He could hear the men screaming in agony that he burned without so much of a drop of remorse. He gripped his head and he cursed.

Why should he remember something like that? Why should their ghosts get to torment him when he knew he was in the right? They ruined them. Ruined River. Why the hell should he feel sorry for them. He breathed.

It was a memory.

Memories couldn't hurt. He heard a voice and he jumped out of his skin and turned to see Sam and Draco. Draco was patiently staying behind, nearly hidden in the shadows. Vince swallowed. "Sorry. Lost in thought. You need me?" His posture changed from distress to open almost in a snap.

"Hey, nah. Just taking a stroll. I see you are, too." Sam watched him as he got closer. "Hey...Vince, I know you don't know me, but I was certified to talk in the VA. Sometimes it helps to talk to a third party, one who actually knows what the fuck they're talking about. I wasn't experimented on or held hostage, but I know PTSD when I see it." He frowned, "Just thought I'd put it out there so there's no miscommunication. You can take it or leave it, leave it and take it up later, it'd don't matter. I'm here for /any/ of you if you need to talk. I know Draco's got Calla's back and Nyah's taking care of River. Different people and different opinions, though."

Vince watched him curiously. It was strange that he and Draco were trying to get him to talk. He understood the concept, but he didn't understand the why of it. They were strangers, why were they willing to take on someone's nightmares and fears?

It made him pause for a moment. "Do you ever feel remorse for the bad guys?" He finally decided to ask that question instead.

Sam nodded mostly to himself before he responded, "Yeah, sometimes. A lot of the time they're just people doing their job. Yet, they're all people with the same agenda and mindset. They're after you, someone who doesn't believe what they do and they think they're right. A lot of the time, they won't think twice about you." Sam motioned for Vince to come with him to one of the sitting arrangements scattered through the compound, "You hear their screams and see their terror because you didn't want to fight. That's okay, and understandable, Vince. It was never supposed to /be/ your fight. You were no doubt at the front of it all protecting Calla and River, so you saw most of those trying to take you down."

"I don't feel like I have a choice anymore." He said as he followed Sam and when they found a sitting area, he took the chance. Draco remained in the shadows, clearly wanting to spend time with Sam and to see how things worked. Vince let the silence hang for a moment and then he spoke. "My powers are...useful. Mimicking. I doubt there's a power I /can't/ mimic. Well. Besides' Steve's super strength. That's not a power, that's his DNA and I can't mimic Bucky's metal arm. I'm fond of the two I have, thanks." He paused. "But I never...wanted it. Now I do. And I don't think a peaceful life is ever going to be in the cards for me again. Which is...fine. I don't mind adventure. I'd just...rather not fight to get it. But with River. With Calla. Riv's going to want to stay and watch over Angelina. She's taken too much of a liking to her not to. Calla has a thing going on with Steve. I'm not sure if they're buddy-buddy or if something more is going to happen, but beside that. They're hanging with dangerous people. I...don't want River to ever use her powers unless she says she wants to."

"It's a hard pill to swallow, buddy." Sam acknowledged first, his face a mixture of harsh seriousness and gentle understanding. It was an interesting and difficult expression to pull off, but Sam seemed to do it with ease. "Allow me to break down what you said. We'll get to it all in time." He took a deep breath. This would take a bit. "First off...everyone has a /choice/, Vince. Even Bucky. At the moment, Steve, Me, Wanda, Clint, Scott...even T'Challa, at the moment we're living with the /fallout/ of our /choice/. Steve chose not to sign the Accords and save Bucky. I was the first person he called upon for help. I ruined my life. A good life back home, helping people in the VA, but I /chose/ to follow Steve. Clint and Scott gave up their families. Wanda gave up her budding love for Vision. Steve has this practically overwhelming sense of guilt about the whole situation, but he doesn't let it show. He's our leader, but our friend, too. We'd all do what we can. You? Vince, the three of you have a choice and a luxury none of us have. You can go /home/."

Vince felt guilty, "It is true, we don't have to stay here if we don't want to." He said softly, "I forgot about the Accords, and how you guys are traitors to America. I know that sounds insulting, but when you've been captured, sometimes you worry about other things rather than what's happening in the world. I'm sorry, that must've sounded insensitive."

"No." Sam told him tenderly, almost cooing but not quite. His face was still serious, but he softened quite a bit, "What I'm saying, is that while it feels like you /don't/ have a choice, I just want you to remember that you /do/. At any time, you can walk away. Revenge is sweet but when it's finished unless you have something else all you feel is hallow. You don't want your powers because they make you feel sick, but you want them because you're fighting. You're fighting for River, then if River's fine you worry about Calla, and lastly fighting for yourself. That's how Steve rolls, too. I know. I know what you're doing, your thought process. Which is why you're ready to fall apart at the seams. Steve has the rest of us to say to his face he needs to take a breather. Who's going to tell that to you? Calla? Would you listen? No." He answered his own question.

Vince's lips quirked, "Who knew I had so much in common with Captain America. I'm sorry, Steve." He corrected himself, but his smile faded. "What you say is true though...Calla wouldn't tell me to relax...and River if she did...well...I don't think she notices. Or if she does...she lets it go."

Draco was watching the exchange and he folded his arms as he listened to Sam. He was observant, and it was lucky he had friends to base them off of too. Raading souls and knowing exactly what to say was hard, but Sam did this with practiced ease. It was incredible.

Sam heard the shift and brush of clothing as Draco moved and he glanced at him, smiled, and then took a breath himself before he returned his focus to Vince and continued, "Peace is a strange concept, sometimes." He touched on a different part of Vince's earlier words. "Solid, lasting peace may not be 'in the cards' for a long time. Five, ten, twenty years from now, even. Yet...am I the only one who sees it?" He hummed, "We have peace, Vince. Right here. This is peace. We get peace and calm between battles. It's just up to us how we make use of our temporary peace, but it's peace. You may think it's difficult...how can I listen to half a dozen's people's problems and still have a clear head? I got my own issues, yeah. To me, though, it /brings/ me peace, helping others, making them feel better, even if I know they go somewhere private afterwards after I've made them so vulnerable. It's /okay/." He soothed, "I understand not wanting to cry in front of others. Just like you have a choice, remember you have people here who /want/ to listen."

Vince bowed his head. He felt his eyes sting, and he quickly wiped his eyes. "True." He said softly. "But the kind of peace I'm talking about isn't....it's not a peace you see." He pursed his lips together. "It's...hard for me to describe. I'm usually better at this, but...I feel like I'm getting jumbled. Like I'm barely holding things together."

Draco remembered him talking about his guilt. Peace. It was a hard thing to describe. Nyah was peaceful about everything, but that's because she knew her time was at a limit. Sam was peaceful because he knew the wars that went on inside the soul. Vince was looking for peace, but a peace no one saw. He wondered...was Vince talking about his nightmares? About how to get rid of them? Or was he talking about something else? He knew that he was worried for River. For Calla. Oh...maybe his peace was that. Writing didn't bring him joy anymore. Perhaps, that was why he was in distress?

"Deep breath, hold it for ten seconds. I'm not going anywhere. Just breathe. Help me understand so I can help." Sam soothed patiently.

"He's lost his sense of peace." Draco said softly as he decided to approach the conversation. He knew that Sam was trying his hardest, but Vince was having a hard time and he knew that sometimes it was best to have someone translate. "His peace isn't a battle ground and warrior trying to get up. His peace is trying to figure out what it looks like /now/ with all the nightmares and the struggles and if it's selfish for him to seek it out. If there's peace to be obtained, inner peace I believe is the proper term for it, how to achieve?"

The puzzle pieces visibly slid into place and Sam's face changed. "Oh. Shit. I'm real sorry, Vince. I slip up sometimes, too. I didn't even think about the other kind of /peace/." He held his hands out in a helpless gesture and then looked at Draco with gratitude, "I forgot, you talked to him while he was hangin' in your village. Thank you."

Vince let out a choked laugh, "Don't feel bad. I couldn't say it."

"No, now don't you apologize for that." Sam told him firmly, "Okay. This is a whole other kind of beast, Vince. More often than not advice given is not taken. You gotta want to help yourself, before either of us can. I /will/ tell you outright that it's not in anyway selfish."

"River would agree." Draco said softly, knowing very well that he was using the ultimate weapon against Vince.

Vince pursed his lips together, and he looked up at Sam. "Whatever advice you can give, if I can do something with it I can try. Thank you..."

It took quite a while. Vince still had trouble talking and describing what was on his mind, but that was where Draco came in handy and the previous sessions they had had. It felt a little like cheating to Sam, but overall he was grateful for it. After about and hour and the emotional and physical exhaustion was catching up with the boy, Sam had suggested they all hit the sack. Now he was walking just with Draco again through the halls, like they had been before finding Vince. "Has anyone ever mentioned, besides Nyah, how much of an amazing help you are?"

"Hm? No not quite." Draco blinked in surprise. "I was about to apologize for getting in your way. I knew that you had your methods and I wanted to see them, but when I found that you were limited because you couldn't read his soul I felt inclined to help you translate."

"Well, you were right to follow your inclinations." Sam nodded firmly, "It was clear after you said something that Vince was comfortable with you. I may be basically the team therapist but he just met me. he's gotten a month with you. Same with Calla. I do got my methods, and if you want to see me use them watch me talk to any of /my/ teammates, especially Steve. It's always harder with new people until you find just the right way you click with them."

"You're right, I'm sorry." Draco offered his hands, palms up and his facial expression looked regretful. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I was testing you or to make you feel like you had to live up with an expectation. If I wanted to know you better, this wasn't the way to go about it." He let his hands down and he offered a small smile. "I hope you take no offense, but I'm surprised you do not know how to soul read. The way you spoke made me think that you could for a while there."

"Hmm? You think I'm mad?! Oh, no, no, man I was offering you a different solution to your curiosity!" Sam laughed a bit, then quickly cut himself off as it was late at night and he looked sheepish at his sudden outburst, "It's a different kind of 'reading' than what you do. Ever hear the saying 'the eyes are the windows to the soul'?"

"Plenty of times yes. That's how Nyah does her soul healing, you enter through the eyes. So you can actually read the eyes rather than use them as a window so to speak. That's very interesting." Draco smiled warmly. "It's a talent that not a lot of people have. It's good you have it. I doubt it's wasted it on you."

"I can also read body language if someone's eyes are cold but their face falters for example." Sam explained, "I've been real curious. What do you read from me?"

"Someone who is honest and kind." Draco said after a moment of watching him. "You open your heart willingly, but you know when to close the doors. Which is good. Some people bleed too much, like Vince. Like Steve. You're strong. I'm not talking about a physical strength either. Your soul is strong. It withstood a lot of horrible attacks. You have a few scars, but all souls do, and there's one that's deep but it's healed. Which is...good. It's good. You still have that scar, it hurts you sometimes, especially when you talk of it, but it doesn't get in the way. It doesn't bleed. It's a wound that's healed."

"After some time it hit me that he wouldn't /want/ me to bleed forever for him." Sam nodded his head, a respectful acknowledgment, "Riley...I was a part of a team with a man named Riley. He used metal wings to fly, like me. I watched him get killed in the sky. There was nothing I could do."

"You honor his memory by taking flight now." Draco smiled warmly, "And for helping those who he can't help anymore. You were a good person then, and you're a good person now." He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I'm certain that he's no longer watching over you. He knows you're doing just fine."

"Yes, exactly like that." Sam agreed, grinning back at him, "Honestly, Draco? I'm looking forward to getting to know you more. You're easy to talk to. I have a ton of people I help or have helped or will help, but really it's rare to find another like me who understands."

"If you wish to get to know me, perhaps you should watch me with Nyah?" He offered, a tease from when Sam told him to watch him and his teammates. "You might discover more like I will watching you." He gave Sam a respectful bow. "It was a wonderful night, but now I feel we must part. We'll meet again tomorrow. Have a good night friend."

Sam clapped Draco's shoulder, not thinking twice about it like he would would /anyone else/ besides maybe Steve, who was in fact a guy who liked to touch, and it felt /so good/ to just let go. "That sounds like a great idea. I'll ask and see if it's cool with her. G'night, and see you at breakfast!" he let him go and headed down the opposing hallway to the one Draco had to take, not seeing Draco's reaction.

~

She was finally done washing the make up off of her face and the shower had been fantastic too. The bathroom was huge, it was big enough to be a hotel bathroom with enough space to walk to the toilet and not trip over it and a spot big enough for two sinks and the make up pile River had given to her. Angel happily scrubbed dry her hair and placed on her night clothes and she wiped off the mirror's fog when she blinked.

No that's not right.

She blinked again, but the image was still there. A woman was staring at her with brown hair. She blinked again, forcefully, but the image wouldn't move. She knew she dyed her hair, but...her face was different. Her face was more mature. More...womanly? She felt her heart clench and she was hesitant to look away.

She felt her throat tighten and she slowly turned her head away from the mirror and she looked over at the shower that she had just gotten out of. She could've sworn she saw specks of blood, but the moment she blinked they were gone. But when she blinked again, she saw a splatter and...she couldn't help but to cry out and back herself hard into the sink's counter, which forced her to her knees.

She heard something from far away, something familiar but she wasn't certain what it was. She slowly got back on her feet and she let out another scream, this time a little louder. The reflection in the mirror had /smiled/ and it wasn't a /smile/. It was showing too much teeth and the lips were curled in a snarl. It was like someone was taking pyschotic pleasure out of...she felt hands on her shoulders and she let out another scream and she tried to wrench away when she noticed the face of...."<Solider?>" But it wasn't him. His face was softer. Who was this man? "<Let me go!>"

/Soldat/. The name hit Bucky like a slap to the face and his stomach coiled, the back of his throat cold as if he was going to vomit. His daughter's blue-green eyes were huge and terrified. He knew this look, even after only seeing it a few times.

It hurt. It hurt his heart. He really did want to puke now, but he steeled himself, whispered he was sorry, and used his strength to grab her by both her arms and go throw her in the tub where she would have a harder time slipping out then if he'd put her in the standing shower.

Then he bolted out of the bathroom like a bat out of hell, knowing even if she was momentarily hindered she was still super fast due to her small size. He ducked out of the bathroom just as she gave another scream.

Steve. Somebody. Anybody. He couldn't do this alone. Not right now. He was still too unstable himself. He barred the bathroom as she slammed against it and choked back a sob, his stomach giving another violent twist. Running from the room, he was so, so glad that Steve was just down the hall and pounded on it so hard he was sure his fist would break the wood.

Steve got up fast from the couch that he had been resting on after his swim with Calla. He didn't remember wrenching the door open, but he could recall Bucky's terrified face and that he was half-dressed in boxers and a shirt. "Bucky?" He asked, trying to figure out what was going on. "You look pale...hey, hey breathe!"

"No...no...can't..." Bucky choked again, visibly shaking, "Angel is..." he gnashed his teeth, forcing words out his trembling mouth, "Hallucinations. Locked in the bathroom."

"You locked her...." Steve looked surprised. "Hold on, I'm grabbing a pair of pants." He quickly left the living room into his room and found a pair of lounge pants that were easy to slide up. He came back out within seconds. "Let's go." He said and followed Bucky back into their apartment.

"I can't...Steve...tell me who else I can get. I can't..." Bucky stopped at the door, flinching and face crumbling at the sound of Angel's screams.

Steve looked at Bucky in shock and his eyes saddened. Who else to get? Sam was out of the question. So was Draco. Nyah was a possibility but....would she even be of any help? He looked back at the door where Angelina was crying and he could hear something bang. She was probably hitting the door and not realizing that she could unlock it herself. He bit his lip in thought, before nodding. "Go to Wanda, Buck."

Wanda. Realization and the barest hint of hope crossed Bucky's face. "On it." He said simply, turning on his heel and disappearing down the hall and away from Angelina.

Steve watched his best friend go and he decided that he should at least try his own hand. He knew he was probably going to get hurt doing this, and Wanda might react badly, but...his best friend's daughter needed /someone/ and Steve didn't know the cause, or what she was hallucinating, but he could at /least/ make sure she won't hurt herself.

~

Wanda looked up, shocked when her bedroom door shook and the energy she felt on the other side was Bucky's. He was clearly in distress so she threw a shawl over her shoulders and went to the door, only dressed in her nightgown. She blinked at him as he was panting, looking about ready to break down into a million pieces. "<What is it>?"

Bucky shook his head, balking at the Romanian, "Angel...she's locked in the bathroom because she's having hallucinations. I can't do anything for her. I need her. I need her stable. I can't do this. Wanda, please. Steve is in the room, trying to calm her down."

"Yes...of course, Bucky." Wanda said gently. She put her slippers on and stepped out, closing the door behind her.

~

Steve managed to get the door unlocked after a while and walked inside. Angelina was curled up in a ball, sobbing. Nothing was broken, but she staying the hell away from the mirror. His mouth curled down and he carefully walked over and sat down across from her. Touching her felt like a bad idea...maybe...he stood up again quickly and walked out of the room. He went into Bucky's and Angelina's room and found a heavy blanket that was soft. Once he had that, he went back to the bathroom was just about to put it around her shoulders when she looked up.

Tears slipped down her cheeks and her nose was bleeding. Steve dropped the blanket and she startled, crawling backwards till she hit the bath tub.

"Oh...easy." Steve didn't move. He didn't want her to think that he was dangerous.

"<Who are you? Where's my dad? Where is he?!>" Angelina demanded but stayed the hell away. She looked at the door and thought about how to get out.

Steve swiftly moved to block the door and Angelina's face fell. "Shh." He murmured. "It's...it's okay. Angel. Sweetie. It's okay."

Angelina grew fearful. "<My dad! I want my dad! Who are you?! Did you do this to me?>"

"Shhh. Shh." Steve said gently softly. "Bucky's looking to help you."

Angelina bit her lip and she looked at the door and him again. Steve had a feeling she might try to tackle him...and he was right. Only she didn't try to tackle him. She got up and tried to duck so that she could reach the door, but Steve was fast and he gently but firmly grabbed her by the waist. Her screamed made his head hurt, but he held on to her tighter as her nails bit into his skin. "<Dad! Dad!>"

"Steve! Why the /fuck/ did you open the door?!" Bucky's alarmed voice reached them and he and Wanda came into the bathroom. He looked horrified and scared, completely lost.

Angel had been screaming for her father, but even after seeing him, she didn't act as if he was the man she was after. "Let her go, Steve." She said slowly. She wouldn't use her powers, not yet. She wanted to see what she did.

Steve carefully let her go and Angelina was terrified. "<Solider what's happening? Who are these people? I'm scared. What's going on? Am I going back?>" When he didn't answer, her eyes widened. "....<Did they wipe you again? I can't...everyone's mind is /weird/ I don't understand. I don't understand>...." She was hyperventilating.

"Bucky..." Steve looked at his friend.

Bucky opened and closed his mouth to answer her but it made him sick all over again at the mere /thought/ of speaking Russian or Romanian right now. He looked at Wanda pleadingly.

"<Soldier is Bucky.>" Wanda motioned to Steve to step back, stop crowding near the panicked woman. If she was going to bolt, she could handle it. She felt comfort that Angel couldn't actually read her mind, but until she was ready to push, to see, she couldn't either. "<Where do you think you are?>"

"<Who are you?>" Angelina ran back, but away from the door and away from Wanda. She was clearly trying to assess her from afar. "<Why are you with the Solider? What's happening? I don't /get/ it.>" Tears fell down her cheeks. "<I thought we were /safe/. How did we go back?>"

"<Do you know who your Uncle Steve is?>" Wanda asked instead, "<I am not a soldier. I am not exactly safe, either. I fought with Bucky.>" She had remembered how surprised but happy Angel had been yesterday when she had said the same thing.

"<Of course I know Uncle Steve. Oh...>" Angelina felt her vision darken as she felt her nose bleed a little more. She rubbed her nose against her already bloodied hand and she looked at the three of them. At first Steve was relieved, Wanda got through to her, but then Angelina started running and she slid across the bathroom floor so that she couldn't be caught too easily.She was just about to reach for the door when she felt herself get stuck. No! She bowed her head, trembling. "<Let me go! Let me go, they're going to do something horrible to him! He's not here. He /can't be there/.>"

"Angel, sweetie, I'm here." Steve looked pained. "Your father and I are right /here/. Wanda would touching her hurt her?" Now he understood why she had been so frightened when she came in. She didn't know him /at/ first. He was new to her....of course she would've thought he was Hydra or something else. He grabbed her so forcefully too...

"<Let me see what you see, soră.>" Wanda whispered, ignoring Steve, and heard Bucky choke from the corner he'd stuffed himself in and her hands waved as she held Angel in place with her red magic. Stepping closer, she got in front of her, and pressed her finger to her forehead.

Almost as soon as she had done it, when Wanda looked from Angel back at the bathroom, the brunette started /crying/. She wasn't sobbing, but she looked so heartbroken yet not in the least bit surprised.

Angel's head was bowed, dripping blood steadily and her cheeks still pale from lack of color. Steve didn't know what was going on, but...he felt like he needed to wrap these two girls in blankets, force feed them something warm, and send them to bed like his mother used to and at the same time he wanted to go and punch a wall.

"Just like I gave you and your friends nightmares, I can also take them away. However, hers is so powerful that all I can do is knock her out. Would you allow me to do that?" She asked both Bucky and Steve, her voice wavering, and she sniffed, but didn't bother wiping the tears away.

"Please." Steve said after a moment. "Be gentle, that's all I ask."

"Yes." Bucky nodded, walking closer to his daughter, getting poised to catch her. Wanda nodded and pressed her finger to Angel's forehead again, this time for longer, and when Angel slumped she let her magic dissipate.

Steve walked over briskly and hugged Wanda while Bucky clutched his daughter tightly in his arms. "Thank you, Wanda. I'm sorry." He said softly to her. "Do you...shall I make all of us some tea to help us relax a little?"

Wanda nodded against his chest and sniffed again, her shoulders shaking and his shirt getting wet, "She didn't recognize herself in the mirror." She whispered.

"So that's what started it...the shock..." Buck gulped, "Yeah, Steve...tea sounds good."

"Go ahead and bring her to bed or set her on the couch Buck." Steve gently wrapped his arm around Wanda's shoulder and guided her out of the bathroom. He gently let her go and started to work on the kitchen. He knew Angelina had talked to T'Challa about teas just at dinner and he had brought her some of his favorites since she'd been curious. He boiled the water in silence and started fixing the cups, setting everything to brew. The silence hung heavy.

"i'm sure Bucky can guess what she saw, but do you want to know, Steve?" Wanda asked. It was a sincere question, but she also saw the tension in his shoulders. If he didn't want to know then she wouldn't say, knowing it'd flair his anger. Sometimes, though, Steve like having another log added to the fire.

"..." Steve thought about it and then he nodded. "Yes."

Bucky whined, not unlike that of a dog. "I'm going to pace the halls." He announced and snatched up a pair of sweats, promptly leaving.

"I don't blame him." Wanda murmured, "The bathroom looked like it's original color scheme was red."

Steve's eyebrows furrowed as he watched his friend leave and he looked down and away. "....Was she thinking we were them?"

"No." Wanda said slowly, carefully, "She simply didn't recognize us. Our faces were blurry. Even Bucky's, but his was a bit less so. She called him Soldier, but even she didn't believe it was really the Soldier. Which is why she was so confused and didn't go to him. The shower stall was one of the glass cells, and she was terrified of looking in the mirror."

Steve closed his eyes and let out a slow, long breath. At least she didn't imagine that she was completely all the way back there. They were just...new people that didn't have time to fit into her mind. Bucky had been away for months too...All that work went down the drain, Bucky was probably furious with himself right now...or just plain hurt. He didn't know. Angel had done her hardest, did her /best/ to come home. But in the process, just like Bucky felt, they both lost the progress that they made. No, that wasn't true. They were still progressing even now. It was just a minor set back. Steve nodded at his reasoning and looked up at Wanda. "...Are you okay?"

"It was like stepping into my own nightmares. That's all." Wanda shrugged, her tears already drying on her cheeks. She smiled at him just a bit, "More hugs wouldn't hurt, though."

Steve smiled and he gently wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "I'm sorry you had to see that, but thank you again for helping her get out of that." Steve said softly. "I know it hurt you, but we didn't know what else to do. I'm sure Angel appreciates that you saved her from her mind too."

"No, I understand. I am the only one here who can manipulate minds. It's okay, Steve. I promise." She leaned into him and nuzzled him a bit like she would to Pietro. Steve had been stuck in ice for seventy years, but that was a technicality. He really wasn't old enough to be the father of a girl her age, so brother it was. "Thank you. You're comforting. I'll take my tea when it's done and go back to my room so you can comfort Bucky next."

"You're right." Steve gently pulled away from her and looked to see if the tea was ready. He handed it to her and walked her out the door. "You don't need me to escort you to your room right?" He asked as he held two cups, one for Bucky and one for himself.

Wanda just shook her head and smiled again, sipping her tea without another word. She passed Bucky and she gave him a hug, surprising him, but he hugged her back. Then she continued on her way.

Bucky returned to Steve and took the cup he offered, and then went to sit heavily on the bed as Steve shut the door. "It was a good day..." he said miserably, staring at the colored liquid in his hand.

"It was." Steve said softly, "And it was a bad night." He sat down next to his friend and gently pressed his shoulder into Bucky's. "But I see why she freaked...and...considering that you just came out of Cyro...and we did so much today...she was pushing it. She needed to break....and...she did. In a horrible way..."

"I'll have to keep an eye on her. I shouldn't rely on her so heavily right now, not when we're both...adjusting. It was wrong of me." Bucky let his head dip further into his chest, his hair curtaining his face. He didn't move away nor lean into Steve, but also didn't move when Steve leaned more. "I know...you want me to...use you. For support, I mean." His throat was tight with emotion. "I've just...only...had her..."

"....I know." Steve said softly. "I told you this before. I felt guilty when I found out that we left her behind. I know she did everything that you asked, but....I guess I'm selfish. I would've wanted her with us. I would've wanted her next to you and safe. I never wanted her to come home to a place that was empty." He fell silent. "I can only imagine the worst thoughts that went through her mind. She got to you as fast as she could, and I'm sure she pushed herself to the brink more than a few times. She knew you relied on her...and she loves you so much. I don't blame her. It was my fault. I should've told the girls to take it easy with her. But they were having so much fun..I let it slide."

"Yeah...me too. We both have this on our shoulders, pal." He felt more than saw Steve shift at the nickname. Then he added, quiet. "I want to. Rely on you. Outside of battle, I don't know how, though. I don't remember how. I have trusted you with my life this whole time, but beside the bathroom moment we had, it's...hard, Steve."

Steve thought about it for a moment and then said, "How about you talk to me the way you talk to Angel? If she wasn't asleep right now, if she's here listening, what would you say?"

"What would..." Bucky's face twisted a bit, "Probably apologize profusely. She'd tell me it's not my fault. We don't usually need to /talk/, as she reads my mind and answers for me, really."

"Why would you say your sorry?" Steve asked gently. "Why would you think what happened was your fault?"

Buck looked down at his tea and decided now was the best time to take a drink since enough time had passed it wouldn't scald his tongue from being fresh out of the pot. Sighing through his nose, he looked over his shoulder at her. "She didn't recognize herself."

Steve nodded slowly, looking over at Angel. The bloody nose had stopped and had been wiped away. Her hair was still a mess since she had just gotten out of the shower. She was breathing steadily. Steve watched her for a moment and then looked over at his friend. "I'm going to speak for Angel, since Angel speaks for you." He said watching his best friend. "What happened was terrifying. She didn't recognize anyone. Not even you, even though she called out to you. But it wasn't your fault that she was triggered." He paused. "Though...why didn't you answer her....when she was crying out for you?"

Pain flashed in Bucky's eyes and he took another sip of tea. "I tried. You watched me." His breath caught. "I could speak English just fine, but trying to force Russian or Romanian out would've made me retch, Steve."

Steve gently reached and rubbed Bucky's back. He swallowed a little and he thought about what happened tonight. He took a swallow of his tea, a little on the cold side now, but he didn't let go of Bucky. "And I think Angel understands that." He said finally. "I'm sorry, I asked a bad question." He smiled sadly. "I'm learning how to friend again too. So maybe speaking for Angel will have to wait till I know her better. But I think that you did just fine tonight, Buck. You got Wanda, we made sure she didn't hurt herself. She's just confused. And I don't blame her. River just started teaching her how to look in a mirror. I doubt she never really saw herself before...in anyway."

"I...didn't particularly think of that. S'not like I look in the mirror much, either, besides to shave. When I do it's weird, too." Buck nodded and this time, he allowed himself to lean, almost deflating but Steve was there to catch him. Would always be there, if he let him. "After this, I expect a really bad day, too. It tends to happen with the stress of handling her, as she's my anchor. I just...want you to know...don't take anything nasty I say to heart on my bad days, okay?"

"Buck, I lived with you before." Steve gently reminded. "You would come home spitting mad and would tell me things that were pretty mean. But you always made up for it. Like how I made up to you when I was feisty and irritable. We'll just have to learn again not to take things personally that's all." He paused and he gently pushed Bucky's hair back. "Angel will be right there and so will I. You can have a bad day, Buck. We'll be right were you need us. I promise."

()

Nyah had asked T’Challa where a good place would be for private conversations. She knew that there was no getting around if Scott decided to shrink or Clint using the air vents, but…a room where people couldn’t just barge in was helpful. He showed her one that was outside, a balcony that had a lovely seat that was close to the waterfall. It was an enclosed space so that the rain couldn’t get through too well and the wind couldn’t knock things over. But she could hear the water and she was comforted by being outdoors with the trees. She was certain Bucky would appreciate the shrubbery as well.

The enclosed room had a lovely table and wicker seats that could withstand the weather. The cushions weren’t plump, but they weren’t firm either. The floor was hardwood and polished so that no one would get splinters in their feet. She had taken a habit to walking the palace indoors without shoes, and she found it a nice change to feel the wood with her feet. It was grounding and reminded her of the hut that she had stayed in at her village. She hoped that this kind of room wouldn’t hurt Bucky’s psyche.

She had two cups set in front of her, and a tea pot on a portable warming stove. She felt her heart clench a little painfully but she breathed through it and she listened to the door open. Bracing herself, she looked over to see if it was the person that she had been waiting for that walked through.

Indeed it was. The brunette was slow as he stepped inside, but it wasn't so he would be perceived as a threat, or startle her. His eyes were downcast, the grey in the blue of his glacier eyes more prominent and they didn't have much light to them. He looked like a shattered man. His eyes weren't swollen, but there was a red hue to the edges as if he had been crying and slightly bloodshot. The bags under his eyes were dark, almost looking like he had been punched a bunch of times. He was also pale and his body was an odd mix of tense and limp. He didn't shuffle his feet, taking deliberate steps like he always did. Then when he finally reached the seat across from her, he sunk down into the cushion, heaving his whole weight into it like he had just /given in/.

Nyah watched him for the longest time, trying to assess on where to even start. "Angelina?" She asked after a moment. It could be Steve, but...Angelina was more of a tie than anything else. "She broke down?"

"Hallucinations." Buck answered simply, reaching for the tea and just...holding it his hand, "Wanda had to restrain her and knock her out. Steve was there, he helped, too."

Nyah nodded softly. "I see." She picked up her cup and gently blew on it and took a sip. She listened to the water fall and the birds. She let the scenery fill the silence that was here and she carefully set the cup down. "She's your anchor. Your touch stone. She keeps you stable when no one else can. She bridges the Solider and you. Should you break, she picks up the pieces and when the Solider comes out, she can handle him and keep him from killing Steve. Am I wrong?"

"The Soldier was usually given orders and targets and since Handlers would tend to get in the way, when she was old enough...thirteen was the first time...she kept me-him-in check. He'll listen to her. She knows the words to activate him, too." Buck swallowed a bit, realized his throat was dry, and took a drink of the tea instead of his own spit. "She'll...keep me from killing /anybody/ else. The mission actually reset, to protect instead of kill Steve. Still, it's a danger after so long."

"So. That's why she was given the name "Companion". Because that's exactly what she is." Nyah concluded her thoughts and she watched him for a moment. "But now that she wavered, you fear that she can't keep you in check."

"It was too soon, too fast." Buck murmured, staring at the tea. He licked his lips, "Is there sugar?" She pushed the tiny cup of sugar cubes around the teapot. He hadn't seen it from his angle. "It's good, doesn't even need sugar, I just..." he shook his head, and plopped two in and stirred them. Then reluctantly continued, "Woke me up, because she couldn't wait. That's fine. Next day we go out into the city, around a lot of people, people who's minds are a lot different than where we lived for two years, where she'd gotten so used to them she could ignore them. New clothes, changed her hair...she didn't recognize herself. It was a /good day/, and then...it...all fell apart."

Nyah nodded her head. "We pushed a lot of limits yesterday. She must have been very, very tired of her white hair if she decided to do something drastic. She probably felt guilty that what little color that was in her hair faded again from the stress of losing you. Or, perhaps, she didn't want to see her Uncle look at her and see his failures. Whatever her reasoning was, she found joy in dying her hair and she allowed River to do her make up. It was a lot. It was too fast. But...I have this feeling that Angelina doesn't know what slow looks like. When you have a bad day is probably the only slow she knows."

"This is just a little melancholy." Buck drawled, "When I have my bad day, which'll happen maybe tomorrow or two days from now, everyone will know it. If possible, I'd lock myself in my room for that. I have a feeling though that everyone wants to know what the hell it's all about."

"I know what it looks like." Nyah said softly. "The world shatters, and all you can do is keep yourself together. Sometimes that means the Solider appears and Angel has to keep him in check. Sometimes that means you can't do anything and she has to be your guide. Your soul is very sad." She gently gestured to him. "Both of them are upset that yesterday happened and both of them are sad that neither one of you were activated enough to help. Yesterday was a good day, and it was. Angelina just bit off more than she could chew. A lot of us did. But it was necessary, now it's time to recover. I know I don't know you very well Bucky, but please let me try to say this in the best way I know how. You were not a terrible father last night."

"But I left her..." Bucky blurted out unexpectedly, a broken sounding whine to his voice, "She was calling out to me and I couldn't respond..." He didn't know if it was because he knew that was why she was here, to hear his pain, to see it, or because she was a third party and didn't know anything about him. He couldn't do this with Steve, even if he wanted to.

"Even if you did respond, there was a good chance that she wouldn't have registered your voice." Nyah said softly, taking a sip of her tea and setting it down on the saucer. "You stayed in the room right? Or at the very least, near it?"

"I did..." Bucky wasn't crying, but his eyes were watery, "She didn't recognize my mind but she was calling for her father in Romanian. Called for the Soldier. I couldn't speak it."

"I know that you can speak Romanian...I heard you...so you couldn't speak it then is either you were afraid she saw you as Hydra...or perhaps you were so stunned by the turn of events, you, yourself, saw the nightmare she was weaving." Nyah tilted her head. "Is that right?"

"She called me 'Soldat' and it was like my world turned upside down." Bucky's Adam's Apple bobbed and he took another drink, "I tried...I tried...and every time I did I felt like I was going to lose everything I ate through the day."

Nyah nodded, and she sipped her tea again and she looked at him. She watched him, assessed and re-evaluated what she wanted to say. "She saw you but wanted /you/." She nodded. "And you didn't respond. Which leaves you saddened and in despair wondering if you really /are/ a good parent. So let me stress this again. You are a good father. You probably did the right thing in not answering her."

"Why do you say that?" Bucky asked, the fight he'd managed to scrounge up leaving him and he slumped.

"Because she would've been more confused. You would've answered as her father, but she would've seen the Solider." Nyah explained. "Her fear would be amped up, she wouldn't know what was happening. But you stayed by. It was the only support you could have given." She paused as she set her cup down. "Her confusion would've made the hallucinations worse. That bad night could have went worse. And she wouldn't be resting right now, she'd be restrained and you wouldn't be looking like death, you /would/ be death."

It took a while for Bucky to process this and nod slowly. In not responding he had done good? It felt like she was telling the truth, but his mind still swam. He didn't know what to say more about the issue, so he dropped it. "Is there anything specific you wanted to talk to me about when you asked me to meet you alone?" he asked instead. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions."

"A lot of them were answered by talking to you right now." Nyah smiled softly. "But I was curious to know if you had questions for me too." She watched him for a moment and then said, "You told me Angelina has the words to activate the Solider. Has there been words that deactivated him? Or has that never happened?"

Bucky shook his head, "The control fades after being knocked out or sleeping. They never liked me going on missions longer than a week or two. I did defect a time or two before because of it. They were actually happy she knew the words so she could reset me." He set the cup down and ran his hand through his hair, "Do you...really think you can fix me?"

"Yes." Nyah nodded, "Your soul is split into two, but it'll be easy to slowly merge the two of you together. That'll require you two to talk about the words, what they may or may not mean to you and having discussions, but it should be easy. But this is where I should apologize. I can fix you. But I cannot fix Angel. I know she would be your next focus when you're healed."

"What about Draco?" Bucky had a sort of pleading tone, "Any way to /help/ even if you can't fix? I know she has the mental disorder schizophrenia. There's medication for it but she's half enhanced so she'd have to take more than normal and I don't think she'd like taking pills anyway, being drugged."

"I can see if Draco is able to help, but...I wish we had gotten to her much sooner. You know how they say if you break a bone, it's important to set it properly? Angelina healed her soul on her own without any method or know-how. And now it's set in the way she healed it. If I do help, I worry that I could damage her further...or even break her. It's possible it may be a team effort...I can try to help....but I felt like you needed to know the risks." Nyah said softly. "The only risk that I can bring to you is that I only get you part-way melded. That's the only danger that I know of so far."

"If I have something to grasp onto, some ground to stand on, I can work on it in time when you're resting. I'm going to be a hard case. I'll probably resist at first by reflex, without meaning to, since it's so deep, been so long." Bucky told her gently, "I wouldn't mind talking to Draco too to see what he thinks. You're both healers. I don't mind if he steps in just to talk if you can't handle me for a session."

Nyah winced a little, "I was going to ask if that would be okay. Sometimes I tend to push myself and I don't know when I'm at my own limit. That's kind of the reason why he's here with me. My own anchor. Though don't worry. I won't leave you high and dry. You'll have stable ground to work with, and Draco will more than be willing to help. He's an excellent soul reader and my best friend. You won't go wrong with him at all."

"That's good." Buck's shoulders lost a tiny bit of tension, his eyes relaxing a fraction, "I don't want others to hurt on my behalf. I know you chose this, and you will be hurt, but I wouldn't want you to go passed your limits for me. We can take our time." He motioned to the jungle passed the glass of the sun-room, "I'm not going anywhere."

"No. I guess you're not." Nyah said with a smile. "Do you like this room? Angelina tends to stay outdoors all the time when she was at the village so I assumed you would be the same. If this is good for you and it makes you feel comfortable, we can do our sessions here."

"I'd prefer anything to do with activating the Soldier in a more secure room, honestly..." Buck frowned, "I do like this room, for talking...we're alone, and it feels like my words once they're said and you hear them they just...fall away."

"So I'll tell Draco to talk to you here." Nyah nodded, "and if you want to talk to me for any reason at all, don't hesitate to drag me here as well. Any time, any day. I'm here as your healer, so use me as you wish. Same with Draco. Okay?"

Everyone would understand that. This was about him, he needed to get better. So, Bucky nodded. "It's a deal. Anything, everything, right?"

"Yes." Nyah nodded. "No matter how small you think it is, if it's a big deal to you, it's a big deal to us."

~*~

Clint felt like a complete ass. He'd been doing his own thing, and completely forgot to come around and introduce himself to the newcomers. Well, that just wouldn't do. So, he was scouring the compound through the air vents trying to locate /someone/. Wanda had told him to try and find River first since she was the one who liked kids. He could talk about kids. He had them, after all. Also, he liked going to the nearby village and helping with the hunting. It gave him something to do when he didn't want to go to the city.

He was quiet, unnoticeable, seriously of all places why wouldn't he search the library first? He removed a panel so he could drop onto a high bookshelf, put it back since he could actually reach it, and then dropped down the rest of the way. His feet burned and his legs and back didn't appreciate it, but it wasn't that far of a fall. He was just getting old, damn it. Ugh.

He didn't have his weapons on him, didn't need them. He was just in a casual outfit and he strolled through the library like he meant to be there all along, and sure enough he saw a woman with purple hair. The vibrancy of being fresh had faded after a shower, leaving a purple that wasn't harsh but soft and pleasing. "Hello!" He chirped in greeting, waving and grinning when the woman looked over at him.

"Oh. Uh. Hello." River greeted the man who was waving at her with a cheerful grin on his face. He looked to be about in his late thirties, and he had a walk that reminded her of how Bucky and Steve walked. Smooth, soundless, but unlike theirs, he didn't do this with a march. It was casual, mischief way of walking. "You must be..." He was either Clint or Scott, but she wasn't sure which. "Clint? Right?"

"Yeah, that's right." Clint nodded and came up to her, plopping down in a couch without prompting, "You're River? Wanda told me what you looked like and that I should meet you."

River was a little surprised that Wanda would suggest it, but she trusted the woman's judgement. "I am. It's wonderful to meet you, Clint." She smiled warmly. "I'm a little surprised she told you to see me, but...you seem like a decent guy and I know she wouldn't send someone that'd do me harm so..." She laughed a little. "I'm sorry. I should let my guard down. I know you fought with Steve and them for the Civil War. Are you doing okay?"

"Miss my family, of course, but I know they're safe." Clint shrugged, "So that's what they did to you. The bastards. It's fine if you don't want me to touch you. I wouldn't want anyone to touch me, either. I'll just stay right here." He nodded firmly, "Since I met you Scott should come around. He likes to shake hands for a long time. He's a bit awkward like that, but he's a good guy. Just ignore his hand, he'll get the hint. Unless I talk to him first."

River's face fell, "I know the feeling about missing your family. I miss mine too. I'm sure they're doing okay. I bet they're trying to get a hold of me...I don't doubt they put up a missing person's poster either." She laughed a little, scratching her cheek. "But they might've not. Sometimes Vince and I go on random road trips, but I still call them from time to time." She shook her head. "Sorry you didn't want to hear that, and I'm fine with hand shakes. Just don't move too fast that's all." She smiled at Clint. "But thank you for taking care of me. I know I'm just a stranger to you."
"You and your friends won't be for long." Clint smiled at her, open and honest and bright, "You click with us and you're family. That's how Sam happened. Bantered with Steve during a zero-hour morning run and that's that. Sam then bantered with Scott and we're just all full of sass and sarcasm. All a little broken. We all understand when someone has a shit day."

River smiled, "It'd be nice to expand upon it." She agreed as she watched him curiously. "You said you were missing your family...did you want to talk about that?"

"Got three kids. Third one's not even that old. I'm gunna miss his first birthday." Clint's face fell just a bit, but he smiled again, this time softer, "Shocked my wife hasn't divorced me, but she knew this would happen."

"Oh no." River's eyes saddened. "No, you shouldn't miss it like that! That's so important. Maybe there's a way we can sneak you into America, or get her to come here to celebrate. They might be underneath surveillance, but surely everything can work out just fine. Your wife loves you way too much to divorce you over something like this. It's a big deal sure, but...you were all trying to do the right thing."

"Maybe. It's a thought." Clint sighed, "I know she does. I'm grateful to her for it." He tilted his head at her, "Tell me about yours?"

"I'm the middle child of three. My older brother is named Sam. He runs a club called Fiery Wave down in New York in Brooklyn and my baby brother is named Trevor. He's a NYPD and he works in the Manhattan district." She held her hands together. "Sam has a wife named Matt, who runs a Salon and we all have a brother in law named Candy who D.J's at the club. He's a sweetie." She smiled happily. "And Trevor's married with a little girl too. His wife is named Miranda, and his daughter's name is Harlequin. Or Harley Or HQ. She answers to them all. She likes to color in coloring books and she likes to climb things. She gives Trev a heart attack, but Sam tells him that it's pay back for all the heart attacks he's given him."

Clint physically gushed his adoration without even saying a word. It was dripping in his voice when he did, "Oh my god. She sounds like a sweetheart! Brooklyn, though?! NYPD? Bucky and Steve were born in Brooklyn! So did you live in New York, too?"

"I did. We all used to live in the same apartment building. Myself, Vince, and Calla." River agreed. "Sam and Trev used to have a bet going that Vince was going to wind up marrying one of us. He didn't technically, but...he still likes to refer to me as his wife. It gets rid of the creeps real fast."

"You guys have been under everybody's noses the whole time!" Clint gaped at her, "I'm glad I came to talk to you. This is something I definitely wanna tell Steve."

River laughed happily, "Well, we were under your noses, but then we moved to California, and then that's when the Fire Nation attacked." She noticed his look and she laughed again. "Sorry. Avatar. I mean that's when we were taken by Hydra. It's a boring story though, so I don't think you want to hear it. But after that we found our way to Nyah's village and now here we are."

Clint's face softened again and he nodded, "I vaguely remember my kids mentioning a cartoon called that. I didn't get a chance to catch up." He suddenly remembered, "Wanda said you like kids. There's a village nearby, a bit more tribal, and they have kids. I was gunna suggest you could come with me next time I go."

River's eyes widened, "Would that be okay? With them too? I'll be happy to if it's okay. I don't want them to think some white person was trying to interfere with their lives and while I'm sure you could stick up for me, I know how strangers must feel."

"I made them happy when I helped them hunt." Clint assured her, "If you help with something, they'll allow it. They'd only start getting upset if, say, our whole group invaded basically."

"Okay as long as that's the true." River nodded her consent and smiled softly. "Who would've thought that we all were based in New York though? Steve would have a field day, we all missed each other by miles. Speaking of missing each other, do you call your wife? Is phone calls okay? I should probably do that with Sam and Trev...otherwise I might get into trouble later and I don't want that."

Clint shook his head, "Phone calls are allowed...if you know someone's phone number. That's part of her protection detail. She gets a new phone and phone number every six months, and after this while disaster she changed it again just to spite of everyone else. I did try to call her, just to find out. They can't trace me that way. It's fine. I know she's safe. Even with me defecting, Fury wouldn't jeopardize my family like that. Neither would Tony."

"That's good." River smiled warmly. "I know my brother's phone numbers. Should I have them change it too? I know Trevor might start keeping burner phones if he hears about that..." She pursed her lips together in thought before she nodded her head. "But at the same time, am I putting them at risk, talking to them?" She started fidgeting with her fingers. "I know that they're really concerned right now. I don't want them to do anything rash..."

"Has T'Challa given you a phone yet? If he hasn't, you can ask when he does." Clint suggested, "If anything you can always wait to call anybody in the City, if you're that worried."

River relaxed, "I will." She smiled at him. "I think it was right of Wanda to have us meet. If I talked about this with my friend's, they'd only feel guilty and start offering to go back to New York or something. I like it here and...I don't think I'm ready for the big apple yet. Thank you so much, Clint."