There is no Beauty without some Strangeness - Amnesia Fantasy

"Three to five. If they're a mated pair, and he's immortal, then they'll probably have more later down the road. As for right now, Megumi will probably have her hands full being an aunt and enjoying her own. So give her a few years at least until the first batch grows up some." Kazuko stirred her bowl a bit as she thought about...herself. It hurt a bit, if she was being truly honest with herself. She was an only child, as was Kent. No heir to the Clover Kingdom. Once he died, everything would fall to ruin until maybe one of the other's descendants decided to reform and conquer the dead land. She wanted to ask, but perhaps a roundabout way and mentioning the rest would be better first. Ease into it instead of slapping him in the face with it. "I don't know much about the rest, but what of the Heart King and Queen? Shin and Hisako? How many do you guess they'll have for pups?"

"You're one of the few that'd use the right term for that. Many would like to forget that the King of Hearts is actually a Shifter." Kent said, a small smile on his face. "Probably three. Always three if I think about it, much like how Ikkyu is always two with an abnormality of three. I can't imagine Hiasko going for twins at all, and Shifter liters are usually always three or four. Also if you consider Hisako is human, three would be the most likely of scenariors."

Kazuko whistled low, "Triplets, huh? Go big or go home with everyone, I guess. The world is going to be terrorized by a ton of little minions when they're all old enough to travel and go to the villages. I predict a lot of intermingling. Maybe Toma from the Diamond Kingdom will actually find someone to settle down with, as well. I don't see him as much of a family man, so he might just have one. Two if one's an oops."

"Toma wouldn't do something like that, but one is accurate." Kent agreed, nodding solemnly. "I don't doubt that Toma's one will go with one of the Hearts. I think no matter if it's arranged or not, it'll happen somehow. Toma's always wanted their Kingdom to be one. Having their kids be in love and married is the fastest way to that goal."

"Arranged marriage seems to be falling to the wayside. However, I can't help...but wonder, Kent. Had none of this ever happened, do you think you would have found anyone?" She hesitated and grimaced a bit, certain she was poking at something she probably shouldn't be. Maybe an old wound or stepping on a boundary. "How many do you think you would've had? One, like Toma? You pour over books and talk about what you've found in such an analytical way, I feel you might have started into a path of steampunk and technical power. Industry and the like. You and Ikki are very smart in that way; you did mention math."

Kent thought about it. He hadn't really thought about having kids or a marriage. He knew that couldn't be helped, that he would have thought about it sooner or later. "I think that I would have found someone, probably through Ikkyu. Megumi probably would have helped in her fashion. As for kids, I don't know. One would suffice for me. At least, if I was going to have kids, they would be in singles rather than twins and triplets. I could see myself having two or three down the road, perhaps five or so years apart. I don't know." He looked midly confused. "It's a question I haven't thought of for some time." He smiled at the mention of industry. "Yes. We did think about trying to do something like that. However, we would have to find an engineer. Neither Ikkyu and I are one."

"There's plenty of people out there. Even the further Kingdoms and Cities are starting to go into the steam age. You could..." Kazuko paused, realizing her slip of the tongue ad it sent a shooting pain through her chest. "Ikki could, if he wanted to." She amended softly going back to her food. Her mind was whirling. Megumi said there was hope, that she could heal him, but there were a lot of 'what ifs' still and right now she felt like she was sticking her foot in her mouth. "I'm sorry. I got...too into the conversation. I hope I didn't upset you at all."

"No." Kent said quietly. "I suppose you're right. I could probably ask Ikkyu to see if we can't talk to other kingdoms, see if we can't connect a trade. Perhaps we could make this be a good era for the Kingdoms to live in. We'll figure something out."

"You going to be sending him a letter, then?" Kazuko looked at him, not sure what she should feel. He used 'We'. "What's your thoughts right now, Kent?" she couldn't sit here wondering, "Are you hoping to go out with a bang? Make some sort of a difference or get the ball rolling so you leave something behind?" Why was she so upset? She'd come to terms with it weeks ago. What was different now?

Kent frowned deeply, "I'm not certain I understand where you're going with this. Didn't I tell you that I'm tired of not trying? That I'm tired of waiting to die? I am trying to live. Why would I be making these plans, these ideas, when you even tried to encourage me in your own way to live. Yet you assume I still want to die. Am I saying something wrong?"

"No, no it's...me. I understood and heard you, but my...my feelings are still trying to play catch-up." Kazuko told him slowly, "I don't...I don't want you to die, either, Kent. I've been thinking about it and accepting it for a lot longer than a few weeks, but then as I come to terms with it, things get turned around. I don't mean to confuse you...it's just that I'm still confused. Oh, I'm not making any sense at all, am I?" she put her elbow on the table and her forehead in her hand.

"I think I understand. Emotions are complex. They can be and do many things all at once and you can't determine which is good. Which is bad." He sighed softly and looked at her sadly. "You were expecting to die along with me, weren't you."

She didn't control her facial expression very well. First she was shocked and then ashamed. She looked away. "How'd you guess?" Would he think her petty? Weak for not pushing on?

"A hunch." Kent said softly. "Your desperation was a good indicator, but...I couldn't just assume based off of that." They stayed silent for a moment. "Why would you chose to die?"

"I have absolutely nothing left to live for." Kazuko told him with a deep sigh. "I probably would have when I got back home. Not right away, but over time. Then I helped Ikki and I ended up here. I have no family, no love, no friends. My dog was killed by the wolves. I don't like being alone. It was just a daily grind, day in and day out, no purpose. Is that really life?"

"It's probably a good thing then that I insisted that Megumi stayed for a while and that you got to meet Shin." Kent said after a moment, pushing his glasses up. "Megumi I know for a fact is on your side completely. Being a bard is hard on her, and friends are scarce. There's been a person once who tried to court her and when she refused, he lured her out and beat her. I know that having someone that understands, even a little of her ability, is someone she treasures. So I'm glad I was at least able to give you that. But Megumi would've mourn you. She would have mourned me, but...she would have been specially sad of you."

"I don't think...that would have been enough. If she invited me to live in Wonderland, I would feel out of place. I don't belong in a whacky world. I feel remorse, because she would be upset, but you are who I'm here for." It felt heavy on her tongue to say something like that. "I don't know how to express myself well, and I feel awkward about matters of the heart, but that is true." She pushed her chair back and stood up, "I don't think I'll eat much more. I didn't mean for the conversation to get so heavy. I'll work myself out soon."

Kent watched her walk away, and with a heavy heart he used his magic to clean up,dinner. He didn't chase after her, he knew that she was in turmoil about the future and what might be happening going forward. Sighing, he made his way up to the rose room, which was still bathed in a blue hue from the barafae. He walked to the cage and stared at it. So many petals, and not enough time. He gripped the edge of the table. He wished for Ikkyu's company or Megumi's stories. He longed for the days his castle was filled with light and laughter. He felt ashamed that he tried to place that on Kazuko's shoulders. Just as he began to think that happiness was around the corner he watched despair take it away. She had prepared herself for death, to die in the forests. Did she know...that was what forests loved to take to begin with? He needed to fix this somehow....but he just didn't know where to begin.

()

Three to four weeks. It was getting harder to tell the time as the day blended together, always looking like night in the castle. The gardens were looking better and better, with and without her magic song. Kent seemed more peaceful, too, complimenting her on her work. It was a comfortable silence that this stay had become. He had admitted to her a few nights ago in amused reflection he was surprised by it, that she wasn't always demanding he talk to her or entertain her, screaming she was bored or that she wanted to leave because she had nothing to do. Farthest she went outside the castle was the gardens outside of the conservatory to slowly expand her work.

Kazuko continued about her daily life of cleaning and reading, sleeping and eating with the occasional break of getting Kent to talk to her, often about topics that spurred from the books she read.

Something she discovered was that Kent couldn't hear her at all when there was light anywhere. She had lit the kitchen up real good one day to give it a deep clean and then called out asking if there was anything he wanted for dinner, and no reply. Shadows were his communication. With no shadows, it was like she'd done a magic cutoff again without the pain. This revelation, of course, had given her an idea. She couldn't dare to hope, not yet, but as she stepped into the music room, she flicked the lock and felt the shadows ruffle around her.

He was confused. Ah, how well-acquainted she had become with feeling his emotions through the darkness. Running her hands through the air, as if caressing him, she smiled softly, "I have an idea. Stay out of the music halls for a few days, this might take a few tries. I'll see you later this evening." She purred to the dark, then snapped her fingers and any candles in the music room flared to life. While singing nonsense that didn't mean anything in the gardens, she had also practiced controlling her magic, trying to use it in ways other than her voice. It had been hard and frustrating, but books on the subject had also helped.

The shadows lingered, the room not bright enough, so she went to the window in the back and waved aside the curtains, covering her mouth as dust assailed her. "Ugh. I don't have the time or patience to clean this room right now." She waved her hand, sneezing a few times and felt sparks fly from her fingers. Cleaning and mending the windows, she also cleaned the curtains and then waved her hand towards the instruments. Dizzy, she sat down on the seat of the piano and looked around. It was a big room, perfect to carry an echo. The shadows were nowhere to be found. Good.

~

A few days, as promised, and Kazuko was satisfied with her project. Stroking the piano keys tenderly and went to find Kent. He was in his parlor, just a candle lighting the words of his book, and she rolled her eyes. More than once she'd draped the blanket over his shoulders as it was getting colder and colder, but tonight she wouldn't. Going over to him, she plucked the book from his grip. He hadn't looked up before, which meant he had been engrossed in it. Giggling as he blinked and came back to reality, she placed a marker in it and put it on the table, "How quickly can you set up a Ball for two?" That would mean moving all the instruments to the ballroom, and finding outfits, but she already had one ready and waiting in her room.

"If you give me two and a half to three hours," Kent said, already thinking about where to place the instruments and how to set it up. He was a little confused as to why she'd offer this, but he had a feeling it had to do with something that she was practicing. She used the music room so often, he wondered if she had become apart of it. Though, he did keep his promise and stayed out of it. "I could one up. It will take time to move everything, and then to properly set up a music spot if we desire so, and of course I know how long it takes a woman to dress and get ready. I could be ready within thirty minutes, you on the other hand will take longer than me so an hour should suffice. Unless I underestimate it. I only had to live with Megumi. She's not a typical woman, so she's not good for estimating things like this. I can only assume from what I heard from Ikkyu's dates at the time."

"I normally don't take that long to dress, either, but I was going to see what the wardrobe gave me. So, yeah, that estimation sounds fine to me." That would make it just after sunset. The ballroom was going to look lovely. She went around and kissed his good cheek before practically running out of the room. Her heart pounded in her chest as she touched her fingers to her lips. Had that been a good idea? He said he wanted to try, but what was too much or too fast? Was 'too fast' even applicable here? She ran her sweating hands over her dress and hurried back upstairs. It didn't matter right now.

Kent felt something warm where she had pressed her lips against his cheek. He reached up and touched his skin before pulling his finger tips away. Nothing came off, nothing was on, but it was still a warm, sudden feeling. He wanted to go into his study and write a long letter to Megumi and Ikki and see if they had felt this before, but he also knew that he wouldn't be able to send it tonight if he wanted to get that ballroom ready.

The conversation would have to wait. He had a project to do. Besides, they'd might just tell him it was nothing to be concerned about...would they?
~

Kazuko's blood was pounding in her ears as her heart raced and she smoothed her hands over her green dress that was the same color as the lily pads in the garden pond. In the dim light it felt like it glowed as the light caught it just right. It was soft, made of silky satin and it fit her like a glove, flaring out at the waist almost like a princess gown, but less obnoxious. It would flair around her as she danced, but it wasn't the size of three or four of her put together. Pinned to her shoulder and waist were white and pink roses of the regular kind, no faces.

Her hair was let down from it's usual ponytail, something she thought would get Kent's attention more than putting it in some fancy bun. To compromise, however, the sides were pulled back into a half-ponytail instead, keeping it out of her eyes. There was a soft neutral dusting with a pink hue to match the roses for her eyeshadow, and a pink glimmer to her lips, but nothing too gaudy and outrageous that made her feel like a different person. She felt like herself, just spruced up, which is what mattered.

As she looked at the ballroom from her place at one end of the stairwell, her breath hitched again. It was so lovely, the instruments poised and ready for her cue.

Would Kent like the song? The first time hearing her sing, but through the echo she had magically embedded into the instruments instead of her own lips? Hearing the footsteps on the other end of the staircase, her stomach did flipflops as she came to the realization she couldn't back out now.

Kent looked absolutely stunning in his olive green and gold formal-wear, something she doubted he had worn for a very long time. "You look real good, Kent." She complimented without thinking twice about it. On her mind out her mouth.